Thinks that I have in mind to blog about (do ignore)

1. An Angel Told Me A Story (Part 3)
2. UIA students are selfish
3. Dreams, Ambitions, Law?
4. No water, toilet, broken wooden basket?
5. Clouds, moonlight, rain.
6. Able to online during class :D

Deciding how to separate this stories into how many blog posts. :3. Laters.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

I Feel So OLD, So OLD I Feel

It has been a while since I last wrote something for my blog. It is safe to say that my last semester in UIA is completely an utter failure in many different ways including in terms of my physical and academic performances :D. I've been spending quite some time playing games as much as I possibly can at home so that I could grow sick of it when the new semester starts and I think its working. I have to change various methods of living my life when new semester kicks in. No more playing too much games, no more excessively daydreaming, no more last-minute approach of studying. Why? Because this method is not working and I can see that it is making me weaker and stupider by the day. Well, I can't say that I did not predict such an outcome because my results were EXACTLY the way I predicted it to be. To see it for myself is way more irritating than I thought.

My failure in performing academically would be due to several different reasons which are because of my last-minute-study-approach, too much playing games + daydreaming, and also having lecturers that are unexpectedly unexpected. (Notice that I typed "Lecturers" with an "s"). I never thought that most of my lecturers would be from the black-listed category personally made by IIUM HS students due to their personal bad experience they had learning from these "lecturers". Previously I thought to myself, "Meh! How bad can these lecturers be?". But then when I encountered POP-EXAMS and biased score markings, I was then beginning to understand. Thus, I failed academically this semester.

My failure in performing physically would be due to several different reasons which are because of my laziness, my time-table covered the whole evening thus I could not join my friends practicing, and also laziness again. I tried to focus on improving only ONE aspect at time. During my last semester, I tried to improve my arm strength alone so I frequently worked my body at the bars to do pull-ups and muscle-ups. Of course, such training does prove to have an effective outcome... BUUUUT~! I learned that you should NEVER only focus on improving one thing at a time. I noticed that my skill improvements in other physical areas are remaining static and some are even decreasing. My previous semester had made me realize that my method of improving one thing at a time is not actually a good choice. There are simply TOO MANY THINGS that I want to improve in life and it seems as if my available time and energy is simply just not enough. But of course, that should not be used as a reason to "NOT TRY"... I failed to notice that I was slowly becoming a hypocrite I myself personally despise, using time and energy and reasoning as a silly excuse not to try. Being a nerd in UIA made me reason too much, its time to re-invite who I previously was. I've noticed too much "thinkers" producing lame reasoning such as "its a waste of time to try to improve yourself in things that you can't excel", "you are wasting too much of your time on physical aspects, you have to focus on your academics", "I already have a girlfriend, therefore I do not need to desperately improve myself in every way possible" etc etc....

Speaking of excuses, its irritating to see grown-up married dudes use the word "happiness" as an excuse or a symbol to represent their FAT STOMACH. "My job is doing fine, my tummy should be able to represent my happiness". That is seriously a lame excuse. I refuse to become these "typical" married dudes in the future. I will try to stay in shape until the day I die. :D.

Way off-topic. So where was I? Oh yeah, I failed physically and academically during my last semester, yada yada yada~

Basically, my next semester will consume a very LARGE AMOUNT of my TIME and ENERGY as I will be very very active in both academic and physical aspect. I think I will face a few difficulties adjusting to it but by posting about this on my blog, I think it should help me feel a bit more motivated as I need to live up to my words.

Oh yeah, regarding to this post's title. I feel so old! This is because its been a while since I worked my ass off to work-out. As we all know, it takes time for a person to get used to a movement and this can be done through repetition. So, if you haven't done any workouts for a very long time, I can assure you that your first attempt of working out would be simply SAD. Being a game-freak has its negative side-effects and this is one of them. So, I tried doing sit-ups.

When I use the word "old", I specifically mean "physical weakness due to laziness itself". I believe that the word "old" is simply an excuse not to physically perform.

To make things short, I am disappointed with my past performance, however, I wouldn't change a thing about it even if I could. I take this as an experience to be learned from as a guidance to further improve myself in the future and I do expect myself to improve very much during my next semester and so on. I hope that this will be my ONLY downfall in UIA, and from now on, my new dawn of improvements will finally begin.

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Okay, I guess that should cover about my last semester aside from my new swimming habits I've been having but there is nothing much to tell.

During this holiday, we've been quite busy. :3. I can safely say that we've been to many places many times to do Parkour. However, I would only like to mention two events that we went through. The first event would be the one of the most waste of time event we went at Taman Tasik Titiwangsa, not worth mentioning about really, seriously not worth explained in detail. Lets just say that a person held an event, when we came, the person is not there, :/. The second event would be our performance for the Mini Cooper new car edition event thingy. It seems that they only had two kind of performances planned for the event which includes us and the models (2 dudes, 2 chicks [When I use the word "chicks", I'm not demeaning women, it is actually a compliment really, it is simply a part of our everyday language and you should get used to it rather than put deeper meaning to it than there actually is]). One of the dude model I recognized, he acted for a movie, he had twins in the movie and I am not sure is he actually has twins in real life, the movie SUCKS big time, end of story.

Hmm... This post quite sucks actually, it is simply more towards a brief update about my life. :/. I'll try to make it interesting next time, after I spend a bit of my time getting used to my fourth semester in UIA.

Oh yeah, for those who are HS students, do you guys know how to minor in Law? :O

Parasite|sAnExistence

Grammatical Error, what a shame

Throughout my life, I have encountered many individuals having great control over the language we would like to call "English"~! But its a shame really, a majority of these people I meet usually encounter the same kind of problem which I myself cannot help with... Grammatical errors every now and then... Sometimes it is not even a grammatical error, but rather the words in the sentence which are used could simply be replaced with more appropriate words. It is simply those kind of silly mistakes are silly habits that is very hard for individuals as such as us to help. After all, language is simply a habit, and habit is awesomely hard to change. Past tense, present tense, future tense, singular, plural, the normal problems people seem to encounter every now and then. =3

For Example:

I love car.
I misses my mom.
I loves her.


I myself have a very bad habit due to the fact that I tend to try and attempt to discuss my whole point of view towards a matter regarding an element in a single long sentence in such a way that I am doing now as I try to prolong it in such a manner that it allows me to construct a sentence that will be consist of all my necessary points of arguments which will ultimately form a single sentence that simply appears like a single damn paragraph.

Also, I encountered people who have great control over their "Bahasa Melayu".... However, most of these people that I know usually encounter the same problem whenever they are writing a short story or a long story or whatever story that they tend to write. What "problem" you ask? Well, have you guys ever noticed that their way of writing a story does not naturally reflect the natural behavior of the contemporary human beings in terms of both actions and way of thinking during their daily activities? More specifically, their way of writing does not naturally reflect Malaysians.

For example :

“Kau dulu pernah beri tazkirah soal zina hati. Takkan lupa? Bila hati saling mengingati, aku tengok kau dah lalai! Lagipun, Allah larang kita mendekati zina, bukan melakukan zina. Kau belum terlewat untuk bertaubat. Lupakanlah Wa, apa tak cukupkah Allah sebagai kekasih kau? Dia yang menemani kau siang malam, Yang Maha Mendengar setiap luahan hati?”

Wardah terdiam. Namun baginya ungkapan Fiza hanya mencurah air ke daun keladi. Dia ingin Hafiz menjadi miliknya!

I have a very hard time in trying to apply this type of conversation during our normal daily conversations. In other words, the way that they write their essays are simply tooooooooo "fictional" as this kind of behavior can only be seen in "drama" that includes low-class actors.

That is all for now, until then.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Taking Control Over The Situation

I had always perceived myself as a person wearing a mask.

My character that I had created in order to portray myself in UIA had always been the same since I was in UIA Nilai. My actions and behavior does not necessarily reflect my thinking. I had always prefer to stay in the very corner of the class and stay quiet until the very end. I had always prefer to limit my relationship with others be it the lecturer or even my classmates. But when the time has come for me to actually participate such as doing assignments or presentations, I do my very best to live up to people's expectations. Mostly people find this to be weird as the attitude that I portray when I am presenting or participating during assignments completely contradict their previous understanding towards my character. I like it this way... And I prefer it to be in this way....

1. You don't know me.
2. Keep it that way.
3. But yes, you can count on me.

But lately, it seems that most of the situations that I am encountering lately is encouraging me to repeatedly participate and participate and participate and some even to an extent of forcing me to take control over the situation.

This semester, I am currently taking Leadership as one of my subjects. Basically, during the beginning of the class, we were entitled to do an assignment regarding "flora and fauna"... We were given the time from the beginning of the semester until the 16th of October in order to complete the assignment. During the 16th of October, we will have to present the assignment to 6 different judges all-together.

At first, when I entered the class, I noticed that there are around 8 guys all-together including me. I hate these dudes.... The problem is, they FREQUENTLY AND CONTINUOUSLY make up jokes that are not even funny in the first place and then laugh like idiots. Most of them are from terengganu, so maybe it is only me who fail to understand their silly jokes. So what I did was, I created a barrier between me and them as I sat in complete silence. The overall students of the class were then divided into two different groups. Since the amount of chicks were more than the dudes, two chicks were forced to join the dudes. The lecturer told us that we will be given 2 different topics which are "flora and fauna" or "Children's safety" or something like that. So, in order words, "sape cepat dia dapat!!" or in English "whoever picks the topic first will get what they desire while the other group will have to take the leftovers"...

I refuse to take control over the situation, but I do not want my future to be determined by others. What I did was I told my group members to take the topic flora and fauna, no matter what because that topic is awesomely easy. Then my group got the topic I wanted, yay! After a while, the dudes voted among themselves to be the leader while I pretend to be gazing off elsewhere. Then after a while, one of the dudes became the leader. He then excitedly told everyone "OKAY YOU LAZY FOOLS!!! WE ARE GOING TO DO A FRIGGIN TRIP TO EXPLORE OUR FLORA AND FAUNA!!! MUAHAAHAHA!!!!!" Something like that, of course my re-enactment is exaggerated. Okay, so then I gave my number to the group leader and told him to contact me for further discussion.

During the next day, they did a group discussion, I however, was not able to come to the group discussion. So I told him that I will personally come to his room later during night, so just proceed with the discussion and then fill me with the details. Then later that night, I came to his room.....

When I came to his room, he portrayed to me his leader-like appearance as he spoke to me in a very formal manner. I on the other hand wearing sleeveless shirt and a pair of Hawaiian shorts, I was like "sorry for being late, hohoho". So, when I was sitting in front of his laptop, he told me about the discussion that has been made. He told me that they were going to make a trip, and that the assignments will be about the trip itself in terms of objective, details, budget ane etc.... In other words, what he have in mind is basically a PROPOSAL...

As I was looking at the sub-topics that are required to be filled into the assignment, I noticed the necessary sub-topics listed in the guideline given by the lecturer such as "research problem, recommendations, conclusion, research methodology, etc".... I was like.... What the fish?? Isn't this assignment supposed to be a RESEARCH? Obviously, all of these sub-topics does not fit in with all the guidelines for the assignment. In fact, such guidelines are obviously for research study, not a damn proposal. So then I asked my so-called leader, do you guys actually know what needs to be filled in each of these sub-topics if we were to apply it to our proposal? He then told me "That's the problem, we do not know how to do so..."....

I was like.... So..... WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR SO CALLED GROUP DISCUSSION IF NO DEVELOPMENT WAS MADE!???? So then I clearly stated the contradiction of their main idea regarding the assignment. I told them it is not supposed to be about a damn trip towards flora and fauna, but it should be about the study regarding flora and fauna. For example the problem that we are going to study is about the poor level of awareness of Malaysians towards flora and fauna, and such and such. This way, it fits in nicely with the guidelines given. He was like "oooooohhh, like that!! Luckily you are here, I have no idea what needs to be done.". So, I then helped him by listing down the main points that should be elaborated to complete the assignment. I then told him before I went back, sms me for further discussion yeah? Laters~

After many many many weeks has gone by after that... 3 weeks ago I think, we were supposed to gather for a leadership activity thingy at the main auditorium (we had about a months and a half of holiday since there are no leadership class afterward). I sat beside the leader, I then asked him "How's the assignment?". He then told me they had group discussions previously (what? why was I not invited?) and had discussed the necessary details. I then asked him, soooo, how's the ASSIGNMENT? It turns out that NOTHING had been done.... He then told me that he no longer wants to be the leader and he wanted me to be the LEADER instead... I was like.... WHAT THE HELL!?!?

WE HAD LIKE ABOUT 3 WHOLE MONTHS TO DO THE ASSIGNMENT!! NOW WE HAVE LESS THAN 3 WEEKS BEFORE THE FINAL PRESENTATION, YOU SUDDENLY WANT ME TO TAKE CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION!?!? ON TOP OF THAT, YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING AT ALL!?!?!?

So I was like, okay, sms me the group members phone number then we'll start from there. So, after I got their phone numbers. I sms'ed each and everyone of them. Did you guys attended to the previous group discussions? How's the development? Do you guys realize we have less than 3 weeks before the final presentation? Do you guys know who's the group leader? Guess what? Each and everyone of them calmly replied to my sms saying yes, we attended to the previous group discussions... Our development is doing fine, and yes we know who our group leader is, he is Khairul, you should ask him personally to know more, ;D!

I was like.... O... My.... God.... They have no idea that NOTHING has been done.... They have no idea that I am the NEW LEADER... They have no idea that their perception towards the assignment is absolutely false.... They have no idea that THEY ARE NOT CONTRIBUTING AT ALL! So I decided to take major actions and then decided to do group discussions immediately at the library. Guess what? Only two person came. :). The previous leader and a chick. The previous leader only stayed for 15 minutes or so. The chick stayed for an hour. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention to you guys that this chick is married, yup. And i forgot to mention to you guys that ALL 7 DUDES that exist in my group gave the whole workload of doing the assignments to this MARRIED WOMAN WHO HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILD. I was like, what the F**K is wrong with my male group members? She is obviously busy since she is married, they all gave her the workload to do the assignment ALL BY HERSELF? Since then, I hated my male group members for their F**KED up behavior.

So what I did was, I told the married woman, its okay, you don't need to do the assignment, let me do all the work yeah? At first she was like, seriously? I dont think that is appropriate. Well, firstly, she has no idea how to do the assignment and she has not done anything in the first place. So I figured, it would simply be a waste of time if I were to hope that any of my ignorant group members will do the assignment. They are too STUPID to even understand what needs to be done in the first place.

During the next leadership class, my group members then knew I was the new group leader. At first they were having this kind of facial expression on their face "Who is this dude? Who does he think suddenly trying to take control over the situation? U did not even attend to the previous group discussions". I was fairly irritated by their facial expressions. So I quickly presented about their false perception about the whole idea regarding the assignment. I told them in SPECIFIC DETAILS what needs to be done in order to complete the assignment. Then gradually their facial expression changed from being a cocky idiot they were before into simply idiots who have no idea what to do.

So I then told them, NOT TO WORRY, I will do the assignment ALL BY MYSELF and then I will try to present it to you guys before the next class for your own personal understanding. So they were like idiots agreeing to each and everything I said. After the class, then my previous group leader told me that "umm.... Actually, our group members had a hard time understanding what needs to be done actually". I was like mentally thinking to myself... I see, so they are that STUPID...

Within 6 days, I completed the 20 pages of assignment from SCRATCH along with the questionnaires and such ALL BY MYSELF. When the time came for me to present to the lecturer for his approval, he told me that it was awesome and that we can proceed with the discussion for presentation. I was like, wooohoooo!! My effort was worth it! I AM AWESOME!!

Then I told my group members our assignment was awesomely accepted as everything was written in DETAIL... It was 20 pages long. Then one of my group members said "20 pages?... Sikitnye (in English = Why so little?)..". I don't know if that was one of the TERENGGANU stupid JOKES, but I swear that I myself really felt like punching that guys face or at least burst by saying what the f**k does a stupid idiot like you know you son of a b***h!? But I pretended that I didn't hear it. I only explained to them with a smile + laughing etc...

Then the time came for me to choose who will be the 3 main presenters for the assignment this upcoming Saturday. Guess what? NONE OF THEM WANTS TO PRESENT. Each and everyone of them told me "OH GOD~~!!!! IT IS MY VERY FIRST TIME SPEAKING IN ENGLISH IN UIA~!!! I AM TOO STUPID IN ENGLISH~!! MY TERENGGANU ACCENT WILL BE INCLUDED IN MY ENGLISH~!! I WILL TREMBLE LIKE AN IDIOT~! ETC..."

Yes, I know you guys are idiots, stop convincing me that you guys are. My previous group leader is a LAW student.... A freakin LAW STUDENT!! Experts in argument and facts, he told me that he doesn't want to be one of the main presenters? Are you kidding me!? So then I decided to choose him, and also another chick that I haven't mentioned, she was my classmates during my time in Nilai, her presentation so far is good, so I'll be choosing her as one of the 3 main presenters....


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Truth be told... I am highly disappointed by my group members... None of them even decided to offer me help or even ask me how to make them useful by contributing to the group assignment... On top of that, none of them offered to become one of the main presenter... Also, when I ask them to gather for group discussion, none of them replied and none of them came....

I ALONE... Did the whole f***ed up assignment.... It was me alone who made it possible by working day and night for 6 consecutive days... I perceive myself as a calm person... I try to pity and help those around me without expecting nothing in return... But this...

THIS IS OVER THE LINE. You don't want to present? You don't want to read the whole assignment!? Do you realise that this is not a the kind of presentation that is marked according to your individual presentation but in fact as a GROUP!? I'll be damned if my marks is going to be affected by you F****D UP IDIOTS!

SO I DECIDED TO GATHER EVERYONE THIS WEDNESDAY AS A GROUP DISCUSSION AND OF COURSE TO RE-EXPLAIN TO THEM ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENT FOR THE PRESENTATION... I will firstly present to them my part so that they will know a little much about what is going on and what level of expectations I have towards them in terms of presentation....

I will then torture them by asking DIFFICULT questions... I will not let them go back unless they are able to answer all my questions successfully...

Seriously... I am at my limit.... I can only be so kind for so long.... If they disagree to take my orders or if they do not pay attention to what I am saying... I swear... I will directly tell them in front of their face how stupid they actually are, how useless they fucking are, how a burden they actually are in my perspective. If I were to get rid of them, it will not affect the group's development at all, why? Because they haven't contributed at all. In fact without them, it will make things easier for me to present the damn assignment.

I don't think I can control myself anymore if their stupidity continue to persist this upcoming Wednesday. They continue to take advantage of me without any feeling of guilty, well fuck you, I will make you suffer this Wednesday and force you to contribute to my marks in anyway possible. What can these faggots who dare call themselves men (who gave all the workload to a married woman) do? Disagree with me? I don't think this faggots will actually dare to, once I show my true colour this upcoming Wednesday.

But of course, I will only torture the dudes... The chicks will only be given simple questions and they will need to observe and learn how the dudes are targeted with difficult questions and how they deal with it. Nice, this blog has served its purpose. I pray that I can maintain my cool, I don't want my self to commit any physical actions out of anger. That is so not awesome. :)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Take A Step Away From My Comfort Zone, Thanks

This post will consist of random topics.

I never thought that a day would finally come when I feel discomfort in my very own home :O.... Seriously, this is the very first time my comfort zone is being challenged to its limit. I even went to the extent of bitching about it on facebook, can you believe it? Speaking of facebook, I find it irritating when I see guys expressing their inner-emo-self through the usage of facebook's status update over and over again such as "Dear God, you are the only One who could understand the pain that I feel in my chest..Please let it go away...Please...Let me forget her..." or "I'm NOT IN A GOOD MOOD!!" or "SHIT!! I wish I could cut off my LEGS!!!" or "I'm sorry... I miss you... ;(" or "I love you so much my hubby wubby~! <3!!!" and many more that could be categorized in the "I don't give a damn" category. How ironic it is for me myself, a person who deeply despise this kind of status updates, actually went bitching about my discomfort on facebook~! Such irony, woot!!

Let us study what is going on here... Isn't this action similar to what we call the act of the "hypocrites"? Yes, I myself am irritated to realize this fact. Back to Facebook's status update... Usually, when I see people pray to God on facebook updates or actually write that he or she is praying for other people, I find it awkward. It is weird from my point of view to actually pray for others or self on facebook's status update... Why is it necessary? Why don't you just pray sincerely and honestly like normal people usually do? But a friend of mine justify this method by saying that it is with the hope that others would also pray for them. However, I do doubt that others have that in mind when they post such status updates in the first place. In fact, I doubt that they actually prayed after or before they post such prayer on facebook. I'm not saying that it is a fact, I'm just saying that I am unfamiliar with such action.

When people post status updates such as "Sorry baby, I won't do it again... ;(", something like that. I find that to be in the category of "TMI", too much information. Why is it necessary? Human have created cellphones and the usage of SMS to provide private communications with one another. Heck, such method is also available through the usage of "chat" and "Message" in facebook itself. Every now and then I don't mind actually, but the over-usage of status updates to express their lovey-dovey relationships can sometimes bore people, you agree?

What about the kind of status updates that states "I'M NOT IN A GOOD MOOD! DON'T TALK TO ME!!". What is the real intention behind this attention-whoring behavior? If you are really in a bad mood and you wish that others give you privacy, you can simply appear offline in chat and ignore others (it is what I usually do when newbies ask me about parkour, wee~! :D!). Which is to say that the real reason behind such a contradicting act is because they actually want people's attention, awwww~

Waits a minute... Back to my "hypocrite" self! Yes, why was I complaining about my discomfort through facebook? Well, I would simply explain that by saying "Sometimes, when people want to express something, they tend to choose the nearest method that enables them to do so". For example, your mother suddenly told you that you are going to get married with a stranger this weekend... If it so happens that you were on the phone with your friend, you would most probably bitch about it to your friend (same thing during face-to-face conversation and online chatting).. If you were playing basketball with yourself during that time, you would most probably bitch about it by throwing the ball as hard as you could towards something while screaming "whaaaaat theeeeeeee faaaaaaaaaaaaaaatuuuuttttt!?". If you were facebook-ing during that time, you would most probably start bitching about it through facebook, yay~!

Owh well, lets just say that as long as I do not portray my emo-self excessively via facebook, its okay~ (hohoho)... Well, what can I say? My house is in the process of renovation(adding another room on the 2nd floor), the only rooms that I can hang out in is my room and my parents'. Yesterday my room was in the process of getting painted, thus I had to hang out in my parent's room. The reason why there are only 2 available rooms for me to hang out in is because the tiles of my entire house is being upgraded therefore making it complicated for me to move around. Still not enough? I cannot move around freely because the house is full of workers be it on the ground floor or the second floor or even on the stair case! You might think, "Owh, thats normal, so all you have to do is simply go online 24/7 in your room right? That's okay what~?". Well no! Due to my parent's hyperactive behavior as a response to the so called "excitement" of seeing the house finally being renovated, it is not enough for the workers to do their job, they had to drag us along to do unnecessary jobs! SERIOUSLY, WTF!?

Irritating Things That I Had To Go Through
1. I had to remove paints that accidentally landed on some of my furniture, but why in the hell did I have to do so when the process of the painting was not yet DONE COMPLETELY!? There's a high probability that I have to do it again for the SECOND time because someone was not matured enough to make a smart decision. Its almost as if you are washing the car during heavy rain.
2. Seriously, 85% of the house is preoccupied with unfinished renovation, why the hell paint my ONE and ONLY ROOM BEFORE the renovation was COMPLETED?? Can't you guys at least WAIT for the renovation to be completed and THEN paint the room? It doesn't make sense, seriously.
3. I couldn't take a bath freely because the workers are adding a new bathroom and the process is affecting the other pipes in my house, irritating.... Not only for a few hours, but half a day.
4. I hate the noise, not only the construction noise, but also the noise they make communicating with one another.
5. I hate the dust, I have to practically walk in slippers because the house is full of dust.
6. Provided with my parent's orders to move some of the furniture for the renovation to take place, it is a pain in the arse..


My comfort zone is completely challenged in every way possible! I can't have my own privacy, I can't sleep whenever I feel like it, I can't find a comfort zone, I can't even "think" in tranquility. I really2 wanted to go back to UIA Gombak, but the problem is I am not sure about the cafe, is it still open? or closed?

I can't think straight when my mind is not at ease, I need to find a place to rest and think, but such a place is not within my reach for now.

Now back to facebook, it is actually sad to see (usually girls) who edit their pictures by increasing the colour brightness, editing out the acnes and such. It is even more sad to see those who usually take pictures using only ONE SINGLE post over and over again. Of course the horny guys out there would compliment them like crazy, but to what extent? Imagine if the girl suddenly decided to go with a dude she met online.... Imagine the shock that the poor guy have to go through! Most probably "OMG! You're face is full of acne!!! I've never seen this ugly side of you!!" I wanted to write a different reaction. but I fear that might appear racist, lol. Usually this kind of girls usually speak in a retarded way such as "Essshh, fown kte rosak laaa, sedeyh la cmnieee~ ;(("... I know that these kind of people are excited with the fact that if they open their eyes REAL WIDE and pose in a certain position, if they take a picture and edit2 some more, they can actually appear very attractive! But seeerriooouussslllyyyy? :O.....

Speaking of guys who approach girls in a very desperate manner through the usage of internet, i find that to be Super Sad~! I mean seriously, even if the guy managed to flirt with the girl, the fact that such approach is Sad will not be changed. Imagine if a person suddenly asked "How did you guys romantically found each other? :D", the response would be "We met through internet, he was flirting all over me".. "Uhuh... Thats... Uh... Romantic..."...

Speaking of facebook, the holiday I spent playing facebook application's game such as Mafia Warz and Ninja Warz... Now it is really starting to piss me off a bit... Every day there would be random people adding me and sending me message asking me "How the hell did you managed to get to such a HIGH LEVEL!? :O" or "You must be a HACKER!!!".... First of all, I would like to say that Ninja Warz and Mafia Warz is the only game that I played on facebook without manipulating the game's system :D. What do I mean manipulating? For example, in Restaurant City, you can simply level up and get money easily by creating new accounts and then send gifts to your account :3... In mafia warz and Ninja warz on the other hand, I simply use brain and tactic that I must say, WEIRD because others couldn't figure out.... In Mafia warz I could level up as much as I can as long as I click continuously since my energy is limitless. In ninja warz however requires a different strategy, but I quit playing the game since UIA started. Lets just say that in Ninja Warz, I could easily become the globally top no 1 player in the game, yesh, I'm that awesome when it comes to games~! Hohoho~!

Now lets talk about UIA. Speaking of UIA, my JPA application got rejected. My reaction? Owh well, this is all part of fate. I am now a full-time-squatter in UIA, I am so proud of myself oh yeah! By the way, the LAN connection at Mahallah Siddiq is awesome, I can play dota every night if I wanted to but the best thing is the fact that I could easily copy movies and series that others have spent weeks and even months downloading. Weee~!

Ramadhan has really managed to put a stop to my exercise. My body is getting TOO thin, NOT good.. After Ramadhan I will continue with my training and workouts provided with frequent consumption of food.

Speaking of parkour, we should be releasing a new video by the end of raya, I'm not so sure how it will turn up to be though, quite funny for me I think, haha. Anyways, the recording session should take place today, if the video were to be completed, I will straight away post it here. :D

I think that should be it for now. I will try to find a more specific topic next time. I simply can't focus right now, renovation sucks ass~!

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

What's inside my head?

Physically speaking, of course the brain. Metaphorically speaking, of course my thoughts.

The further I study about mass communication as I major in such field of study, the further I understand how common it actually is to find another person thinking in a way that is similar to me. Not to mention that the information I daily get from my other friends majoring in Psychology also helps me realize this fact. In other words, I am talking about personality. The persistent and enduring behavior patterns that tend to be expressed in a variety of situations. Some people might think they have a unique personality, but such personality is actually common. Do you agree?

Usually, when I look at the people around me, I often find them predictable and unable to cope with new information that contradicts with their old ones. What the hell am I talking about u say? I'm talking about perception, the act of experiencing the world and the way we interpret such experience. You see, different people have different perceptions altogether to understand the world they are living in. They have their own cognitive styles of interpreting the world around them. It is basically the mental processes used to perceive and make judgments from situations. What did I mean when I say people find it hard to digest new information that contradicts with their old information? Let me give you an example that mostly occurs to me. Most people who managed to have conversations with me, they tend to interpret how I behave and act towards them as my true personality. What do I mean "true personality"? Well, you see... Different scholars have different arguments regarding personalities. One of the scholars argue that a person actually has multi-personalities. The type of personality a person frequently choose to be used and to define who they actually are deep inside is their true personality. Now that we know about this, lets move on.

People often define who I am by the behaviors I practice in front of them. So, I shall explain to you the stages that people (commonly girls) usually go through when they try to perceive who I actually am. At first, they will look at me and define me as a silent person, shy if you will. Second, they will define me as the kind of person that is easy to get along with, not necessarily the kind of person you "like" to hang out with. Finally, they will encounter a totally new set of personality of me in which they could not comprehend even by comparing the new information with the old ones and make sense through it. Why does this happen? Do you guys know about first impression, second impression and so on? It is basically a process in which we make an impression of who the person actually is by referring to their actions that has been made. There are two types of impression which is the primary effect and the recency effect. The primary effect is the first impression we make of people and how we understand their behavior so on. The recency effect if the last impression we have towards the person and how we use it to understand the person. In other words, recency effect enables a person to continuously asses the characteristic and behavior of a person. These methods are effective to understand a person's personality. But how is it effective if the primary effect and the recency effect they use to define a person is actually the "fake" personality that they intentionally portray to you? I think it is more understandable if I say, a conman if you will.

At first, people will define me as a silent person because I will intentionally not speak and simply observe the people I have to interact with in order to understand them first. After understanding who these people are and how they react to certain situations and what do they actually think when they portray certain facial expression, I will then decide whether I should communicate with them or not and if I do want to communicate with them, in what manner do I wish to approach them? You see, for example, if I find these people to be utterly hypocrites who talk behind people's back and such, I will remain a silent person I previously portray myself as being. If I find these people to be utterly stupid for example being a hippie with a their stupid-appearance which portrays them as useless individuals who cannot think for themselves and frequently stays in the same idiotic group wearing the same kind of clothing which resembles them like a group of useless people (usually these kind of people are the sons of the wealthy), I will limit my relationship with such a person. But if I find these kind of people to be interesting, I will definitely try to communicate and understand more about who they are and how they perceive the world. Why do they perceive the world in such a way? Is it because of their cultural background? Their family background? What kind of environment do they live in to an extent that it shapes them to be who they currently are in this world we are living in? These are the questions I am interested in when I try to understand a person. Understanding people's view and behaviors is not sufficient if you truly want to understand who the person actually is, you have to understand their backgrounds as well. From there, you are able to picture how their views in life develop, and thus provide you with deeper understanding of a person and more accurate prediction regarding how a person would react to certain situation. By doing this, the sentence that dumbass people usually say "I don't understand you anymore" will not occur.

Oh yeah, first, people will define me as being silent because I am observing them. Second, they will define me as being an easy going person because I adapt myself to their behaviors. Usually, I find other people who does not portray their true personality and simply show their altered behaviors to adapt to others easily, when I encounter this kind of person, I avoid them. Because I don't like having a fake conversation with others. These kind of people are easily detectable through their tone of voice and facial expressions. We ourselves usually use this method when we meet new people, for example when we ask "where do u live? oooooo~" something like that. However, the type of people I am referring to is the kind of people who wears a mask. I don't know why other people usually fail to see this but obviously they wear a mask. It is simply a universal behavior that they have created to communicate with new people around them and usually this kind of mask enables them to smile eventhough when they disagree with what others are saying. The only differences between how I wear a mask and how these other people wear theirs, is the fact when I communicate with others, I sincerely communicate with them because I am interested with them. If I am not interested, I will not enable any kind of communication with them thus eliminating the probability of having to use fake smiles as a respond to others.

The last phase in which people usually encounter is when they encounter my true self, which is completely different from what I actually am from their previous point of views. The kind of people that I want to avoid due to certain reasons, will find my personality completely weird and they will find difficulties in understanding my new behavior as such behavior could not be related whatsoever with the previous one. Thus, this will create a situation in which the person will avoid me while I continue not to acknowledge such a person's presence. Some others, I acknowledge their presence, but I purposely avoid them due to certain reasons, hihihi :D. The people that I perceive as suitable in terms of being my friends will however not encounter any of these stages :D.

Oh yeah. I stated that the more I learn, the more I get to know that the characteristics which I previously define as "unique" personalities are not so unique anymore and is actually common. Usually, the people that I perceived as being unique, they themselves know that they are different from others and tend to act in a way that attracts others attention. What do I mean they are "unique" but is actually "common"? Yes, to the eyes of the common people, such traits are distinctly unique.... However, these unique characteristics are simply positive characteristics that have been studied and applied by scholars who pursue more knowledge in a more accurate manner. In other words, I now perceive that people who have these unique personalities are actually "intelligent" people who managed to learn this professional characteristics by chance or experience. What do I mean when I say unique personalities are actually professional characteristics? hmm?? :O

People who's words are often easily understood by others, people who easily understands others, people who could easily relate themselves to others thus attracting many others to them, these kind of people have the professional characteristics in which is defined as "high emotional intelligence". Yes, HIGH, EMOTIONAL, INTELLIGENCE.... Qualities such as understanding one's own feelings, empathy for others, and the regulation of emotion to enhance living. These kind of intelligence focuses on the ability to practice "sympathy" and "empathy". Do not take these two words lightly, they are in fact very hard to achieve. Sympathy is the act of UNDERSTANDING what others are feeling. People usually get into a conflict because they fail to acquire sympathy and often falsely understanding why the other party is behaving in such a manner. Imagine, if you were to be a councilor, when a student expresses his or her feeling regarding love problems, you falsely interpret their love as simply an act of hormonal imbalance and "horny" behavior. How do you think will affect you professionalism in work? Another important ability is empathy, which is to respond in way that you understand how others are feeling. For example, Crying (respond = sad face), Happy (respond = Smile). Imagine if the same student who expressed about his or her love problem to you in a sad manner, you respond in a way that you scold him or her angrily. Imagine how this would affect your professionalism?

The kind of people who have sympathy and can show empathy are "unique" individuals. They tend to attract other people's attention and have loads of friends, because this kind of people know what others think about them and how they should react in order to instill a positive image of themselves in the mind of others. Speaking of positive image, in communication, people refer to this as "face". In others words, don't drop your "water-face" :D. There are basically two different method relating to building a positive "face" of yourself towards other which is to maintain or improve your image, or correct other people's negative image towards you into a positive one. If you guys have these ability, I assure you that your existence will be taken notice by the people around you. It is however not easy to acquire this skill. In order to acquire this skill, one should always do what these kind people with high emotional intelligence do...... TALK TO YOURSELF... Yes. In order to understand others, one should understand themselves first. By knowing others, one can understand themselves even better. By understanding more different people, we can understand ourselves in different perspectives thus giving us the opportunity to understand ourselves deeper as well as other due to the fact understanding of self and others are closely an interrelated process... :D. If you rarely speak with yourself (intrapersonal), it sucks to be you dude. Intrapersonal is good, there has not been a day I never talk to myself. It is good during exams too! Never be too greedy of your knowledge. Whatever you learn, repeat that knowledge by teaching others such knowledge, if you can explain it to them, it is safe to say that you have grasp that knowledge better. If there's no one around you, try to explain that knowledge to yourself, verbally! (Using voice rather than inner voice, thoughts).

So far, I have only mentioned one unique personality which is associated with professional characteristics. Thinking creatively and critically outside the box in a manner that doesn't make sense. This is also the type of thinking that makes an individual "unique". However, this is also one of the professional characteristics that one should practice during professional discussions.

Other personalities can be associated with traditional intelligence in terms of verbal comprehension, word fluency. numerical acuity, spatial perception, memory, perceptual speed, inductive reasoning. Each of this is basically our traditional intelligence, each ability if well-grasped by individuals, will be well respected by others.

There are also other characteristics that can be learned in order to understand more about the people we define as "unique" individuals in terms of the eight major personality and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. The eight major personality are Neuroticism (Emotional stability), Extraversion (The likeliness to easily communicate with others), Openness to experience (adventurous), Conscientiousness (hardworking and such), Agreeableness (Flexible rather than egocentric), Risk taking and thrill seeking, optimism (positive thinking), and self monitoring (understanding self). Myers-Briggs Type indicator states that people's personality can be understood by their method of learning and perceiving their environment in terms of Extraversion-Introversion (Communicate with people), sensing-intuition (make judgment through sensing or intuition), Thinking-feeling (make judgment through thinking or feeling), Judging-Perceiving (making judgment through judging or perceiving).

So what I am trying to say is.... Although 80% of what I wrote is simply unimportant... What I am trying to say is... "Uniqueness" is not something you are born with... It is something that can be achieved, through learning... What you perceive as "unique" is actually common in the eyes of those critical thinkers. Keep that in mind. Because I'm awesome. :D!

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Ammar, Control Gile Kau Jalan Kat UIA

After going through a long holiday without being exposed to any kind of academic matters, I have to admit that I felt somewhat stupid and unprepared to enter the same University I once struggled to maintain my cgpa, months ago.

A new semester in UIA... Some friends of mine are here for their very 1st semester in Gombak, which also means that I will not only just be a "Nerd" this semester since I am going to be actively participating in training sessions.

Most of my registered classes lack the existence of Male students and familiar faces. I am no longer living in the same room with previous roommates. I am also no longer going to the same classes my roommates are going for this semester due to our different interest in choosing a specialization for the course. I am Majoring Mass Communication specialized in Public Relation, I went for the introduction class of the subject and as I expected, the career in such a subject is very much exposed to dirty ways of gaining profits such as bribery and lies. But it depends on how I choose to do the job, pretty much like a lawyer.

For this new semester, I have to walk to class alone for each and every day in every week of the semester. I will only be accompanied by my friends during lunch hour. As usual, if I were to walk alone, I rarely pay much attention to the people around me due to several different reasons I have mentioned in my previous blog post before:-
http://parasiteisanexistence.blogspot.com/2010/03/being-social-with-others.html

In short:-
1. I am short-sighted
2. Since I rarely talk to girls, once I talk to one of them more than twice, others would have the tendency to interpret the situation wrongly. This happened to me 3x times in a row during a year of my study in Nilai. Two of them interpreted me as having a crush towards them when all I wanted is to basically approach them for academic matters alone. They even spread such a rumor about me liking them. Another misinterpreted my empathy and kindness to be something else, I myself find it sad that it turned out to be that way.

Well, I don't know about Gombak but that was what happened to me in Nilai. I would smile if a girl asks me something. But I wouldn't be surprise to give an emotionless reply to a girl if I notice her trying to create a long conversation with me. I would end the conversation quickly by creating an awkward situation even ice-breakers could not break. I think its better for people not to understand me... rather than misinterpreting me. (I would not mind if a girl were to have a crush on me, but it will simply make me sound pathetic if a girl were to spread rumors around that I have a crush on her instead)


Therefore I mostly walk to class while not paying attention to the people around me.

Now BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC!!! XD!!!

A friend of mine Abudi who recently enters Gombak told me "Ammar, control gile kau jalan kat UIA...". Why? Because he said that I did not notice him sitting at the HS cafe when I was walking by and I was not paying attention to my surroundings, haha!

So I think I am going to try and change my ways a bit, I will try to pay more attention to my surroundings this time around and say Hi to my friends if there are any, haha!

(A very short-post this time around, I'm impressed~!)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Toys Story Sucks Ass

At first, I totally loved Toys Story 3 when I watched it at the cinema in Mid Valley. I love the storyline, I love the characters, I love the jokes, I love the graphics, I love the fact that Buzz lightyear suddenly speaks in Spanish and act romantically like one, I love it when they make their escape plan looks like mission impossible, I love it when they make the baby doll look as scary as hell with its right eye broken and acts as a bouncer, I love the part when the toy monkey looks at the camera monitor with its eyes open as wide as hell like a freak, I love the part when Potato Head uses its body parts to move around and uses something else to replace its own body, I love the part when they introduce the "joker"character which frowns all the time cause its hilarious, I love the part when they show the dog of their owner was already old and lazy, I love every single damn thing about the movie.

Most of all, I love the ending. Since the beginning of the story, they show Andy (the owner) as a person who was already too grown up to play with his toys like he usually does. His toys lost hope towards him and already gave in to their futile hope as they plan to be stored in the attic. But then, during the ending. Andy gave all of his toys to a girl who loves to play with toys exactly like he was when he was younger. He gave and introduced his toys one by one to the girl as he shows his true point of views towards them thus showing that each of them has their own sentimental value. He hesitated when he was about to give Woody to the girl as Woody was the one that he loves the most. But then he gave it to her with a condition that she takes very good care of each and everyone of them. In the end, Andy as their owner, played with them for the very last time. As he went away, he slowly said to himself, "thanks for everything...".

It is totally a better ending compared to Toys Story 2 because Toys Story 2 ending was quite sad...

As I was thinking to myself about Toy Story 3, I then slowly try to remember toys story and toys story 2... Then I was like, wtf?

Well, I'll tell you why. In Toys Story, Woody was supposed to have a girlfriend and her name was Bo Peep. I liked her character. BUT, suddenly in Toys Story 3 his girlfriend was no longer there! I searched about it in google and I found out that she was sold in a yard sale. Wtf, a friggin yard sale!? The main character's girlfriend was sold at a YARD SALE!? The worst part is that in toys story 3, Woody and everyone seems fine with the fact that she was simply sold at a YARD SALE...



Very very unromantic... Therefore, I hate toys story. Period.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Rebellious Days

This will be my very first short post.

Every normal man would encounter a day where they become rebellious. To whom do they rebel to? Well, usually they rebel to their parents, rebel to the norms of the society, rebel to the law and most commonly would be rebelling to the school.

This mostly happen because dudes at this age will find a very hard time finding their true "identity". Meaning, they are currently embarking into a journey to find who they really are deep inside. People hanging out with the wrong people in the wrong environment will take longer to find who they actually are deep inside... They will try to mingle with things that they will eventually regret, but such actions are necessary in order for them to find their true "identity".

What do I mean true "identity"? Well, living a life where you only follow the norms and the laws of the society, school and family... It doesn't leave you much space for you yourself to make your own decisions. Thus, making it a very hard time for you to actually realize how your true identity is like. If these laws and norms do not entangle you in your everyday lives, what kind of person would you actually become? How do we want to know? ......Rebel.

People don't actually notice why and how they suddenly entered this "rebellious" age, it is simply something that comes naturally... To make it simple, it is something that everyone should encounter to know themselves better.

BUT... We need to be aware that this "rebellious days" are very important and it itself can affect you in a very very huge way... How so you ask? Well, this depends on how long and when you encounter it.

For example...Me.

I encounter this rebellious age during school when I was young and stupid. I did many stupid and embarrassing things but because of this, I managed to find myself earlier than many others did. Truth be told, many others out there still has not yet found themselves and this is dangerous. Why?

A classmate of mine, a guy. He is the type of guy who follows the rule and goes to school everyday, known as the "nice dude" in the perspectives of many. BUT... When he entered matriculation, he encounters a situation where he has the awesome amount of freedom and he can practically do anything he wants. Hanging around with the wrong people (guys have the tendency to be attracted to do bad things), he himself joins them. He suddenly did all the bad things to an extent that he was thrown out from matriculation. Enjoying himself too much I'd say. This is because he has not done any of this during school, thus making him excited like crazy as he enters his "rebellious day".

This is the kind of stuff we do not want people to encounter. Just because they didn't encounter this "rebellious age" when they were young, they screwed over with their life when maturity is most needed, the age when you enter university.

But, this is not the main reason why I write this post. The main reason I want to write this post is to simply state how LOSER-like it is to actually see dudes who encounter this "rebellious age" during school and are STILL in their "rebellious age" even until now. I mean, how STUPID can these dudes be? How long does it require before you soon realize what you are doing is stupid? People like this often try to find an escape tunnel to distract themselves from reality by finding drama's all over the place. Too caught up in their silly "rebellious" act to an extent that it involves the family being worried with them. Too stupid to see how stupid they actually are to an extent that they try to convince others that their stupid actions and their stupid ways of living their life is actually interesting and good. It is LAME and STUPID.

This kind of people find "maturity" to be a "WALL" that will "BLOCK" you from being who you are. This "maturity" to be the drug that will finally stop you from enjoying yourself, making you a puppet that follows everyday norms. This kind of people thinks that once you enter the age of "maturity", all the crazy things that people don't normally do, you won't do as well because you are already "matured"....

Their definition for "maturity" is clearly BULLSHIT.

Which is why they are "STUPID".

Which is also why they are still "lost" in their journey to find their identity as they prolong their "REBELLIOUS" actions.

Grow Up IDIOTS.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Our New Video XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl8kaorFq4I



It took us 5 days to do this video, enjoy~ :D!

My First Random Post

Many things have occurred lately and each time I encounter something interesting, blogging about it comes to my mind. But then when I sit in front of the laptop, my mind totally goes blank! I was like "What was it I wanted to write about again?" and "Nah, that is not interesting enough for me to blog about". In the end of the day, I kept delaying my blogging activities. I realized this fact and I don't like it. So I finally decided to get my hands moving and just write down whatever that comes to mind. This will basically be my first time writing about random stuff without actually knowing what kind of story I want to start with and in what kind of manner I actually want to end it. Well, here goes~!

FOR THOSE WHO WANTS TO SAVE THEIR PRECIOUS TIME, JUST AVOID READING THE FOLLOWING FOUR PARAGRAPHS. TO HELP YOU DO SO, I SHALL SEPARATE THE PARAGRAPHS FOR YOU. AGAIN, WARNING. TO SAVE YOUR TIME, JUST IGNORE THE FOLLOWING FOUR PARAGRAPHS.

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Owh yeah... Now that I come to think of it, I need to firstly post about how cool a friend of mine named Abdullah Azzam Jamal actually is. Firstly, I need to make things clear, I do not enjoy doing this but I have to do so because I challenged him to do something and he did and now I have to blog about his coolness as his reward. Makes sense? Good... Lets proceed shall we? Why is this guy "COOL" you ask? It would be foolish of me to answer that question without properly introducing him to all of you... Lemme see... He is at my age, he is now currently studying at KUIS (Kolej Universiti Islam Antarabangsa... I think..). This is his link to his facebook profile (http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=100000281060448&ref=ts). This is his link to his blog (http://keyranacool.blogspot.com).

Let me just briefly explain to you guys what I know about him and why is it that he is cool. First and foremost, he does Parkour as well. As a matter of fact, he started doing it as early as I did. He is the kind of person who does not get influenced by others nor is he the type who actually influences others as well. I think it is a fair thing to say because he does not actually influence or encourage anyone of his friends to do something that he is doing. In other words, he is a bit "Unique". We usually meet people who follow the flow of life and obey the norms of the society. But this guy is different and when I say different, I really do mean "different". He is the kind of guy who spends most of his time thinking about things normal people don't usually think about in detail. He meet with a variety of people and from each of them he learn about many things other people do not know about each other. When I say a variety of friends, I mean it. Despite hanging out with friends from all these different backgrounds, he does not wear a "fake mask" when hanging out with them to blend in. Instead, people are fond with him being himself.

When I say he does not wear a "fake mask", I do not mean that he show's his true personality to all of his friends. If he has something to say that he do not agree about to his friends, he either keeps it to himself or does not say so directly. When he hangs around with his friends, even though when he is in a bad mood or in a messed up situation, he does not actually tell nor show how he is actually feeling or what he is actually thinking about to his friends. Maybe it is a kind of barrier he usually creates in order to have a privacy of his own to shape his own thoughts, or maybe he thinks that it is unnecessary to involve such matter with each and everyone of his friends, or maybe he thinks that it is impossible for a mere person to understand his views with words alone, or maybe he's just "cool". Anyways, this guy expresses his thoughts and views in his blog frequently. I suggest you guys visit his blog every now and then. It seems that he has loads of followers due to the fact that he usually write about things that people could relate to and people like it due to his honesty when discussing about certain matters. He also love to write about something that could make people critically think about something.

The only loser-side of him I notice is that he usually ask questions about things in life that makes him think every now and then for example "why am I becoming this kind of person?", but deep inside he already knew the answer. But still, that is also why he is "COOL". THE END!!

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For those who did not heed my warning and read the previous four paragraphs, wasn't that all just a waste of your time? Ish ish....

Okay, from here onwards, I shall write about whatever that comes to my mind! XD!!

Yesterday I heard the music "Baby, baby baby, uuuuu~" on the radio and I just found out that it was one of Justin Bieber's song. Only now I noticed that even though Justin Bieber is currently so damn famous, I don't know any of his songs... In fact, I don't even know how he looks like! The only thing I know about him is that he is a kid who has a voice of a girl.

Yesterday me and my brother and two of my other friends (Siddiq n Acap) encountered a JPJ road block in Putrajaya. Me and Acap sitting behind quickly pulled the seat-belts just to notice that the thing that the end of the seat-belts were supposed to connect to was not there!! It was hidden deep under the seat or something. So we had to think fast and quickly decided to simply PRETEND that we were wearing the seat-belts. Me and my friend used our elbow to keep the seat-belts attached to our self and to keep the end of the seat-belts hidden from the JPJ's view or else they could easily see we were faking it. When we were blocked by the JPJ officers, one of the officer took a look at the seats behind to see if we were wearing the seat-belts properly or not. We kept our cool as one of the officer approached the car. The officer was CRITICALLY and DIRECTLY looking at my seat-belt and was looking at my elbow as well. I thought to myself "Omg, does he see that I am actually faking this? How do I even explain myself?". Then he gave us the signal to pass. YAY!!! Our tactic worked! My brother and Siddiq sitting in front were surprised that we weren't stopped and asked us "Woot? Did you guys pretend wearing the seat-belt?". Then we laughed as we continue our journey to Alamanda to catch a movie. What movie? "Shrek" that is.

When we were waiting for the movie "shrek" to start, we wasted our time by capturing our photos with the movie ads posters nearby. Here is one of the four pictures we took! It is simply a dream come true... To hold hands with Freddy Krueger was definitely one of my "100 Things To Do Before I Die" list! To think that it came true... He was very friendly. XD. After that we went to the nearby arcade and played a game of capturing fishes in a pond using a net played by four of us at once (Yeah, I know, so lame, but it was quite interesting.. At least multi-player was enabled). Of course it was all simply virtual.


Also yesterday, before I went to the movies, I accompanied a friend of mine to renew his license and Road Tax. As we were waiting in the post office to pay the Road Tax thingy, I saw many "Epic Failures". As usual in places like this, there is a machine that allows us to collect our numbers for our turn to be printed on a paper by simply clicking a button (I really do think there is something wrong with my sentence here, but I am too lazy to figure out the correct one :O). There is an explanation written on the machine which further explain what button A is for and what button B is for. In that explanation itself, it gave the image of button A and button B in a circle as an example. The actual button for both is actually located on the right side of the explanation thingy. As I waited for Siddiq's turn, I noticed many people actually pressed the icon in the guide thingy instead of the real button on right side of the guide itself. They were actually confusing real buttons with fake icons. I noticed a guy pressed the fake icon and said "Eh? Kenape tak boleh?" and another guy said "Eh!?" and another girl being confused but quickly realized her mistake. Luckily no one actually made a fool of themselves to an extent of asking for other people's assistance. Epic Fail, lol...

Believe it or not, I actually tried to search for an image of "fake seat-belt" via Google so that it would enable me to upload it here in my post as an example that shows me wearing a seat-belt in a fake manner. But all I see was reports saying "Fake seat-belts manage to lie to the police, but not the Grim Reaper", "A driver died crashing his head first due to his fake seat-belts used to lie to the police" and many other reports that says the same thing. What I did was... I quickly closed the tab. Wee~





When I was little, I usually encounter a flu. Most of the time my nose was unable to breathe air or smell properly. Therefore, most of the time it made me think... What happens if a person kidnap me for a ransom and as he was doing so he wraps my mouth with a cellophane tape? Being a fragile kid as I was, I will be unable to breathe through my mouth and my nose! That would be the death of me and the kidnapper would not even know it! Does this ever came across your mind before or is it just me? :O!!





Do you guys know about the "No Plastic Bag Day" every Saturday? I bet you guys do. Do you guys know that if you insist that you want to use plastic bag after buying something from a shop such as 7-Eleven, you will need to pay another extra RM0.20 for every plastic bag? I bet you do. Well, last week when I went to a 7-Eleven in Shah Alam for a Gym session I noticed a guy was lining in front of me so I had to wait for my turn to buy something. After he paid for his stuff to the cashier, he then quickly asked for a plastic bag after he noticed that he was not offered a plastic bag. Then the cashier said "You need to pay RM0.20 please". Then the guy who asked for the plastic bag suddenly looked at the cashier in disgust and said "Heh, awak nie nak berniaga..." in an irritating manner and then refused to pay as he walked out the shop while carrying his stuff he just bought... I was like... Is this guy for real? Is he really that kind of an idiot? Doesn't he know about the "No Plastic Bag Day"? Even if he doesn't, it is clearly written there near the counter to begin with... What a complete moron...



Yesterday I went to a restaurant called "Red Wok" for the first time. At first I thought it was another one of those cheap restaurants you see located on the side of the road. But I was WRONG. The foods served there were expensive and the quality was nice as well. They serve sea foods with exquisite taste such as Shark Fin Soup and they also offer a Buffet~! Ice creams were also available aside from everything else. The best part about the restaurant was that we were able to COOK FOR OURSELVES!! They had all kinds of seafood and meat that has been cut into small pieces so all you need to do is grab it and steam it, sizzle it, or do whatever you want with it. The thing that allows you to cook your meal was provided at the center of your table. I took what I wanted and it was then that I noticed, I took only one type of food and it was meat... I just noticed that I really really really do not actually enjoy eating variety of foods that much compared to other people. In fact, I don't actually enjoy what I eat and when I eat... As long as the food does not taste bad, then its okay with me. I eat and eat, and then I get stuffed. I don't actually enjoy the process that much :/.

Do you guys know about the existence of "Kawanlah.com"? I shall assume that you guys don't... Do you guys want to know what is it? I'll tell you what it is! It is the Malaysian version of "FACEBOOK"!! Yes! Arinah told me about it as she was making fun of a guy who she knows about who so happens to be playing kawanlah.com instead of Facebook. At first I didn't bother to look it up on the internet. But yesterday she talked about it again so I decided to look for it. It was soooooo FUNNY!!! XD!!! In facebook you have the option to "poke" someone... But in Kawanlah.com you are provided the option to "hug", "kiss" and even "BITE" a person! Yes! It is the kind of site where horny kids in school join to flirt with one another. Very very lame.... I joined for fun but Arinah quickly told me to delete the account because she doesn't like it. lol.


Do you guys know the differences between Islamic architecture and Muslim architecture? I bet you guys don't cause I'm awesome! Yesterday I helped out with Arinah's assignment because I am more used to doing assignment instead of her due to the fact that Human Sciences really does very highly focus much more towards assignments compared to Landscape students so I decided to lend her a hand in doing so. She is not used to doing assignments but then her lecturer was quite demanding on them due to reasons I do not know. They had to do an assignment about an article about Islamic design. Her lecturer demanded them to do the assignment but not simply just an assignment regarding the summary of the article or what the article is all about, but also about what we understand about the article. For example, we need to comment about the way the author write the article, the validity of the author's facts and stuff like that. Due to the fact that Arinah was not used to this kind of stuff, she was worried that she was not able to finish the assignment in time. It so happens that I spent the whole day training until night itself so I did not actually have the privilege to help her out since morning. When I came home, I took a bath and then decided to finally start helping Arinah to do her assignment.

But then I noticed "Heroes" was on Astro, I don't actually follow Heroes after the 3rd season but still it was still interesting for me to watch so I decided to watch Heroes for awhile. In the end it was already 11.20PM and Arinah's assignment needs to be finished by tomorrow. (Not really, its just that she is the type of person who wants everything to be finished early). By the time I called her, she was very very worried to an extent of almost bursting in tears because I was not there to help her out all day long, lol. She was like "Ammar x tolong Arinah.. Arinah risau keje x siap tp ama x tolong arinah.. Arinah dari tadi energetic nk buat tapi ama tgk Heroes...". I was like "Alololo, okay okay. Kita buat la nie skrg okay? Knp risau sgt nie?". Then she was like "Sbb tadi arinah energetic nk buat, tapi sbb ama lame sgt tgk Heroes arinah dah xde mood dah... Arinah risau keje arinah x siaaaap... Ama kene tolong jugak... Arinah x retii.....".. In fact, she was almost crying because she doesn't actually know HOW to do the assignment cause the lecturer was so demanding. So I was like okay okay, lets do it!

So I read the lecturer's instruction and then instantly started doing the assignment through Yahoo messenger. I read the 25 pages of article and did a comment about it in various different ways in a critical manner. For me, I liked doing that kind of assignment. It was veeeery eaaasy because we do not actually need to provide references each time we provide a statement! Instead, we can just comment critically about everything and the only reference we need to provide is the sentence from the article itself! How cool is that!? So I didn't actually encounter a hard time doing so since the assignment was only supposed to be 2 pages long (Lol). But the spacing was 1.0 instead of the usual 2.0. So it was like 2x more than the normal assignment, but still, it was easy and entertaining. The article was divided into six different sections. So what I did was I quickly read all 25 pages and chose what I wanted to comment about provided with facts as well. It took me an hour to finish the assignment through Yahoo Messenger.

In the end I noticed something... I was the only one who did ALL the work! I asked her what was she doing while I was reading and thinking of what sentences to come out with... She then said "Arinah tgk youtube~ hihihihihihi~!". At first I was worried so I decided to help as much as I can and did not notice much that she was actually slacking of! So much for worrying. Well, I can't really blame her seeing that she does not know how to do such an assignment. So now that she knows how to do that kind of assignment, she can do it herself next time. At first she was worried like crazy to an extent of crying, then she was happy when I was lending her my assistance, after I noticed I was the one who did all the work as she watches youtube due to the fact that she was clueless on what to do, she was then happy like a kid who received a candy, she was like "Yay yay, thank uuuu~ Yay yay~".. How can you argue with someone like that? Haih~

Anyways, I learned the differences between Islamic architecture and Muslim architecture when I was doing the assignment which I practically had to read the article about it 25 pages long. To make it easy for you understand, I'll make it simple. Islamic architecture is the design that truly reflects what Islam is all about and all the Islamic values... Muslim architecture is the design that are designed by Muslims but does not reflect Islam properly or the design is clearly not reflecting Islamic values. Tadaaaa~! You learn new things everyday, how awesome is that? :D

I am addicted to games that has something to do with statistics.....

I am in love with water... I cannot live by drinking mineral water alone.... Although I do not enjoy eating food, I really really do enjoy drinking water... Tasty water that is, not mineral water and such.

When I remember about the embarrassing things I encounter in life, I smile...

My right wrist still hurts, I still cannot do a normal push up. Mostly because I overused it yesterday when I was training with Siddiq as we were killing time to wait for Abir's advertisement shooting to be over.

From my point of view, it is ironic that normal people find the move "backflip" to be something very cool and very hard to do... But truth be told it is the most easiest flip compared to any other flips.. But it is also the scariest flip to learn compared to others and also the easiest flip to lose due to fear...

Sometimes I really do feel like making weird voices or anything that appears retarded with the new people I meet and make it seem as if it is my real nature and then if they ask me about it I will suddenly freeze my movement as my friends suddenly change their facial expression and tell him/her "That is a very nice thing to say to a crippled person you douche-bag, well done.".

Owh yeah, last week I went out with my mother. She went to a shop to buy something as I decided to stay in the car with my brother. But then my mother was taking her own sweet time to an extent that I was a bit worried so I went out to look if she was okay. But then I noticed she was already on her way out of the shop and went towards the car without even noticing I was walking behind her. What I did was I pretended to be a snatch thief just to see how my mother would react. I didn't make any surprising moves, all I did was I walked next to her and just grabbed her hand bag as she was holding it close to her. She quickly startled! She was in shock and did not move for 2 seconds. She then slowly tilt her head towards me with her wide-opened eyes terrified. All I did was smiled towards her. Lol. Now I know how fragile my mother is and how easy it is for people to actually steal from her. She did not even scream or even hit me as a reaction at all. Now I really need to be there with her each time she goes shopping. In the car she asked me not to do that again and what if she suddenly hits me in the face. I told her that I was simply testing her self-defense reaction and if she hit me, then she would pass the test, lol. I did feel a bit guilty doing so but hey, at least she now knows how dangerous it can actually be to be alone outside.

I don't fancy hand phones. I fancy old style telephone, for real... I just love the feeling of dialing the numbers using this kind of old telephone. :D
















I used to hang up on people so fast, I hung up even before they manage to finish their sentence "goodbye" even though they are using their own credit to call me and it was not my money that was wasted. It was simply a habit of mine and people frequently complain to me about that. Now they complain to me about the fact that me and Amir despite the fact living in the same house, we practically do not speak to each other. This irritate them because each time they want me to ask Amir something, I told them to ask him themselves by giving them an excuse that he was very far away from me even though if he was actually sitting next room, weeee~!

I used to think "Chucky" the killer doll was a very scary horror movie. Now it is ridiculously funny.

I used to think that "Popeye The Sailorman" was a very good cartoon that gives a very good influence to kids. But now that I think of it, it influences the kids to fight with each other. It also portray the heroin frequently being kissed forced-fully by Bruno. Not a nice cartoon...

There was once a time earlier this year when I saw an old lady ordering loads of vegetables to eat at a food court in Mid valley, despite the fact that she may be a Vegetarian, I really felt pity for her because she had to eat all that non-delicious veggies just to keep her healthy. :(

I can only study at night and my body works best at night. I cannot wake up early in the morning and I don't like eating breakfast.

I have short term memory and I don't usually speak loudly so it is usually hard for people to understand what I am saying if they do not focus.

I don't like hearing musics all of the time. I cannot sleep nor study if there is music.

I would really like to see how people actually see me as a person in real life in their own personal point of views.

I don't like to eat much food in one go, I like to eat food from to time. In other words, I like to eat food such as biscuits rather than rice.

Owh well, I guess it is enough for now. I'll try to think of something proper to write down next time. :D

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

An Angel Told Me A Story (Part 2)

This is going to be a long post, sorry~!

Too many things have occurred around me lately... I am having a difficulty to actually spend some of my free time to blog about it because I am too tired to do so most of the time... Well, obviously that is just an excuse I usually come up with to get rid of the sense of guilt I feel from time to time due to the fact that I did not update my blog as frequently as I should and could. I am currently having an irritating discomfort feeling each time I write down a sentence... I read it again and again, but still I do not know what is wrong with the sentence... Even after doing so, I still feel there is something wrong with them... This irritating feeling of discomfort arises each and every time I write down a sentence... I fear it may be due to my grammar and vocabulary getting worse because I have not written down anything for a long time... Or maybe it is just because I have not written down anything for a long time hence making me feel unfamiliar doing so... Or maybe this is all just a dream I am in and everything I have written down will be lost when I wake up... Which also means I have to write down everything all over again once I am awake! NoooOOooOoooOO!! Okay, enough of that, lets move on shall we?

Truth be told, I am actually still quite lazy to update my blog... But apparently some people told me to update them...

Anonymous Person#1 : Hey, it is time for you to update ur blog!
Anonymous Person#2 : Weyh, ckp nk update blog kau! Penipu!
Anonymous Person#3 : Ammar, update la blog! Nk baca! Nk baca!

I have different reactions to each of these people's statement, but ultimately it made me believe that it is about time for me to update my blog for real. Lately I use most of my free time to watch youtube. More specifically, I watch all the videos this guy named "Winekone" post on youtube. For those who are not familiar with these kind of "Vlog", I think you guys should check it out. If you are a little kid or the innocent type of people, I suggest you guys check out the videos from "nigahiga". He is currently the no 1 on youtube being subcribed. If you guys are a bit weird, then I suggest you guys watch the "Winekone". If you guys are completely RETARDED, then I suggest you guys watch all the retarded videos posted by "Fred".... Seriously, I hate his videos... Its irritating...

Anyways, another reason why I decided to post something is because TOO many things has occurred lately! In order to write down about them would actually require me to write in multiple posts... It is ironic because this is also why I am too lazy to start blogging again because I do not know even where to begin... I mean seriously...

1.My encounter with the new-found sport called "Parking" which is apparently and technically a part of Parkour, so it was easy for us to relate. Interesting stuff.

2.The Kementerian Belia Sukan "Hari Belia" thingy show that lasted for 3 long days... What about it? We are practically a part of it and we had to do shows and also performances for some of the Ministers in the event. We did good because the Ministers were impressed by it to an extent that they stood up from their seats just to watch us. They gave us the highest rating amongst other events. Because of that, we were requested to do the show again personally for the Prime Minister which we did. It would really be sad if you guys do not know what is Parkour... Because even the Prime Minister himself know what Parkour is! How do I know about this? Well, he mentioned about Parkour in his briefing, which I believe is awesome because there was no need for him to do so and he mentioned about it in a positive way.

3.I am now officially sun-burned!!! Because of the KBS event.

4.My worst migraine in my life.... I encountered it from 7pm to 2am. It became much more terribly worse from 2am to 4am... The more I sit and the more I lie down, the more it hurts... I felt like vomiting, I tried vomiting, but I can't... I had to practically walk in the middle of the night like an idiot just to calm myself down. I woke up 6.30am in the morning and I had to prepare myself to go and continue my one whole day of performance for the KBS event thingy... It was a struggle, yes it was... But I was cool enough to hide it from others.

5.I fell down painfully hands first, elbow second, shoulder third, back fourth.. On concrete from a vaulting box... Well, I was following behind my brother, he jumped onto the vaulting box and did a flip downwards. I was following very closely to him as I assumed he would continue running after landing his flip. As I was about to initiate my flip downwards, I noticed he was still standing there on the ground where he landed and he did not notice I was behind him. I was already in a horizontal position and I also already jumped a "bit". If I were to continue jumping higher and continue my flip, I would most probably end up kicking my brother. If I did not jump but still continued to flip, I will still kick my brother. So in the end I decided to dive down like an idiot and fell mercilessly on the concrete floor... Luckily it was not during a show, we were simply hanging out to kill time during that moment. When I fell, all of my friends laughed at me. My friend with a camcorder laughed as he recorded me rolling on the floor laughing with them as well. I did so in order to maintain my cool appearance as I pointed towards Amir and said "Why didn't u mooooveeeeeeeeee~". I then quickly got up, went onto the vaulting box to do it again just to show others that the fall was nothing and that Parkour is not a dangerous sport. But my right hand was seriously in pain at that time, I could not move it much and it was practically shivering in pain a bit. But I did the flip anyways and ended up landing in an awkward way because I was not able to swing my right hand like I usually do because it was basically injured thus making my flip look awkward. Then everyone continued laughing as I move along as if the fall was not painful at all... Truth be told... IT HURTS!!! I had to rest for 3 whole days and still I am having a painful reaction when I move my right hand, at least its WAY better than how it felt 3 days ago. I think it would require me another week to fully recover...

These are some of the things I wanted to write down but VOILA~! I summarized them just like that!! Heheheheheh!! Well, not really, there are still WAAAY many more other things that I want to blog about and many other details that I left out......... Not to mention that next week I will attend the "Youth 2010" event thingy to do half an hour performance at PWTC, I wonder if I have the time to actually blog about all these things in detail?...................... Let's not think about that for now shall we? Let the future "ME" worry about that!!! (If my readers do not ask me to write about them, then I will most probably "ignore" writing about it then, hohohohoho~!)

Well, for this post, I am still having a difficulty deciding what to write about.... But first things first! I need to reaaaaalllly explain to you guys why I was not able to blog after all this time! Well... Truth be told... It was like this.....

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I woke up early in the morning. I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I was highly motivated to start blogging about all the things that have been happening around me lately. I went to my laptop and then yelled "Owh yeah!!! I'm AWESOME!!!". But then I noticed... My hands.... They were not energetic like they usually are, its almost as if they refused to type anything... I asked to myself "Hmm...Why is this happening?". Aha! Yes! I then noticed that it was probably because my stomach was empty! I went downstairs and opened the fridge. I noticed there were awesomely large amount of Ice-creams, cakes, sushi, burgers, bread, chips, chocolates and all these other mouth-watering foods. But then I said "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!???? Where the hell are the cookies!? How am I supposed to write my blog without cookies!? I cannot live in a world without cookies! There is no point to blogging without cookies!". I then grabbed my wallet, took the car key and went outside. But... When I went outside... My car was no longer there. It was missing!! I was like... "O... My.... GOD!!! Where is my car!!".

It so happens that my neighbor was watering his plants and he noticed that my car was missing. He said "Oh my God!! Your car is missing!? That is terrible!". I looked towards him and then I replied "Yeah! It's terrible! I mean, seriously! Imagine! All the cookies that I have left in the car is now gone! Now I have to walk myself to the shop to buy myself some cookies~! Bye2~!". My neighbor only looked towards me in disbelieve as I walked away.

I was walking and walking and walking while thinking about my cookies. I then suddenly noticed a ray of light coming towards me from above. In shock, I looked towards the light. I could not believe my eyes, I saw something was floating down towards me... It was too bright for me to see... I covered my eyes using my hands as I helplessly tried to examine what exactly is this source of light? I was surprised even more when I noticed that the thing approaching closer to me from above was actually... I don't even know how to make this sound logical... But... It was a friggin fat Teddy Bear!! I was like... What in the world is going on here??

"Uffff!!" I made a sound as I fell towards the ground because I was suddenly pushed from behind by whom I do not yet know at that time. Before I even managed to get a hold of the situation, I suddenly heard a voice of a girl from behind me saying "Now!! Get him Chubby!!!". I looked upward and then I noticed the friggin fat Teddy Bear was falling directly on top of me from the sky. "UFFFF!!!" Again I made the same sound but in a more painful way because the friggin fat Teddy Bear was now sitting on top of my back. I was shocked... I was confused... But more importantly, the friggin fat Teddy Bear was heavy!

*Munch Munch* *Munch Munch*.... I heard the sound of a person chewing something crunchy... *Munch Munch* *Munch Munch*.... I heard footsteps moving towards in front of me from behind... *Munch Munch* *Munch Munch* I looked in front of me and there I noticed... It was the same angel that troubled me before!! It was the same angel that previously troubled me by wasting my time with her "Wonderland" story and now here she is again... I then complained to her "Oh my God! I never thought you were serious about coming back to disturb me!! I do not want to hear to yo.... What the....? Are You eating my COOKIES!?". "Hihohiho~!" The angel laughed towards me as she was eating cookies in a very "selekeh" manner. "Oh my God! You are very selekeh!" I then told the angel. The angel than replied with a spoiled brat expression on her face "Hmmph! I want you to entertain me! *Munch munch* I found ur cookies in ur car and now its mine~! Its miiinnnnnee~! Hihohiho~! By the way, the Teddy Bear on top of you now is called Chubby! Chubby will not release you until you properly entertain me!".

I complained to the angel by saying "Why should I entertain you? I have many other things I want to do. Owh well, its useless talking to you, I'll just give in this time... So, what kind of new original story have you come up with now?". The angel then replied "I don't have any story.". "What do you mean you don't have a story? I thought you told me that you would think of a new story and then come down to bother me again." I asked the angel. "I didn't manage to come up with a new idea, it is very hard to create a story... I was bored so I decided to come here and ask you to entertain me instead!" the angel replied. "Whaaaaat!? How am I supposed to entertain you? You spoiled brat!" I asked the angel. "Tell me a story! *munch munch*" the angel replied. "I refuse~!" I told the angel. The angel then suddenly showed me her sparkling beautiful eyes as slowly her tears started falling down her cheeks as she says "Waaaaaa~ waaaaa~". I then said "Alololo~ Sorry sorry~ Okay okay, I'll tell you a story.". The angel then stopped crying as she concentrates to hear to my story.... Okay... Lemme see.... Hmmm.. Okay... The story goes like this...

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Somewhere in a place near you, there is a guy named Alex. He is a very nice guy, very passionate, very kind, something you rarely see nowadays. His best friend is a girl, who so happens to be his friend since his childhood. Her name is Adrianne, the type of girl who have the most beautiful smile and the most beautiful eyes people could not help but to notice. From childhood to adulthood, Alex was always there to guide her. Adrianne managed to stay single all this while due to Alex guidance as he frequently warns her about how dangerous a guy can actually be. Alex never thought of Adrianne as his younger sister, nor does he thought of her as someone he is attracted to, but more towards the type of person he must take care of. They are always together as they take great care of each other. Adrianne usually makes a meal for Alex although he frequently ask her not to go through such trouble everyday, but she loves to do so. They are now an adult and are studying in the same University. Previously during their childhood, they had another best friend named Harold. They were always known as the Trio! But then Harold had to go overseas because of his father's occupation.

One day, Alex got to know that his long lost best friend is going to return to the country and study at the same university Alex and Adrianne were in. They hang out together and talked about all the great time they spent together. After a few weeks of hanging out, Harold then asked Alex, does he have any kind of feeling towards Adrianne? Alex said noo! What kind of nonsense is that? Harold only smiled and said relax. But after Harold asked Alex such question, Alex began to look at Adrianne differently. He began to look at Adrianne as other normal girls around him and it was then that he noticed that he was actually attracted to her. He began to act awkwardly with Adrianne each time they hang out together and because of that Alex tried to reduce the time they hang out together in order to actually understand what is it that he is actually feeling. At first he felt that such feeling was not something that he should feel towards Adrianne, it was not right. But then he thought maybe it was okay to feel that way, but he tried to reject such feeling and tried to avoid Adrianne as much as possible. During that time, Adrianne spent more time with Harold seeing that Alex no longer hang out with her most of the time.

After months or so, Alex noticed that his relationship with Adrianne was no longer as close and natural as it used to be. He didn't know what to do and decided to let time do all the work as he ignores the situation. One day, he hang out with his friends. One of his friends suddenly stated that he was in love with a girl. Alex only smiled and asked him, so whats the problem? His friend said that he fear that the girl won't be single forever so he wants to confess to her tomorrow. Alex tried to change his mind and said come on, whats the rush? You better think first before you do things you might regret. His friend looked at him in the eye and then said time? Do you really think time is on ur side? Do u really think you can take as much time as you want and then waste it by carefully thinking before making a so-called wise decision? Man, seriously... Alex somehow was a bit influenced by his friend's words due to how serious his friend actually said those words. He then started thinking about Adrianne. Was time really the solution to this situation he is having? Should he simply take his own sweet time to make sense of what he was actually feeling? He knows that he is attracted to her... But still the feeling was quite overwhelming for him to fully comprehend. He tried to calm himself down by arguing with his friend by saying come on, what's the worse could happen? You might regret it if you confess to her too early man. His friend then said that the only thing that he would regret, is by not telling her how much he loves her.

At first Alex was drowned with his ego, he refuse to accept his friend's words. But as time passes by, he thought to himself that maybe he should just tell Adrianne how he feels, and then see how it goes from there. Alex told his friend that he decided to confess to a girl, but he does not know what to say. His friends were happy for him. But then one of his friend said something that actually made Alex realize, reality was not as sweet as you thought it is and that the world does circle around you... His friend said "Alex, it is about time for you to confess to the girl you like! Whoever she is! Come on, you can do it! Even Harold himself is now with Adrianne! I admire his bold personality! But that personality just got him Adrianne a week ago!"...................... The only word that Alex could think to himself at that time was........... what?

Yes, time was not Alex's friend.... Reality is not as sweet as u think it is... Life is not something that you can actually plan by taking ur time in leisure thinking of what you should do step by step... Life is something that sometimes require you to go against the flow, and do the thing that you don't usually do. Sometimes you just have to do spontaneous decisions in order not to be left behind. Left behind by time...... The end....

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"The end! So how was it? Did you like it?" I asked the angel. The angel cried and then asked Chubby to hit my head repeatedly. I asked the angel "What was that for!?". Then angel then said "No no no!! I don't like it!!! It is soooooo saaaaaad! Your story is dumb! I told you to entertain me not to depress me~! Hmmmph! I will continue your story!! Okay, listen listen... This is how the story continues...".

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Alex became depressed after knowing that Adrianne is now no longer available for him to confess his feelings. She is now currently in a relationship with Harold. After all this time, Alex was the one who takes care of her and prevented her from having a pointless relationship with guys who are still not matured. But now all of that has changed because of the stupid action he decided to choose which is to simply avoid her for the time being and to simply let time do all the work for him. Yes he was confused about his feelings. But was that reason good enough for him to actually "avoid" Adrianne? Whatever it is, that action itself is the reason why he lost Adrianne and only now will he learn how cruel reality can actually be. We cannot fully control each and every elements of our life, we cannot fully control its path and obstacles. We can only make the best of it, and only know Alex realizes that fact, which is a bit too late....

No matter how many times you think about this, there is simply no simple solution to such matter. Firstly, it is never a good thing to disrupt people in a relationship. But that can be usually argued by saying that you are confident enough that you are more capable of making her happy and that you are meant for her. However, how do argue using such statement when the guy who is currently having a relationship with the girl you love, is your best friend since childhood?....... Only during time like this, when all hope is lost, can a person actually rely on time and see how thing works out.... Or is it?

One day, when Alex was hanging out with his friends, he saw Adrianne. Unable to convey his feelings to her, he decided to continue avoiding her due to the fact that he simply wants her to be happy... Even if the state of her being happy, is actually being with another person... He loves her so much, but that was not a reason good enough for him to butts in her relationship. Truth be told, even he himself thinks that he is not good enough for her. However, Adrianne noticed Alex and started waving as she come towards him. Not knowing what to do, Alex only decided to wave back. Adrianne spoke to Alex as she usually do with her cheerful beautiful voice asking him why is he so busy lately. Alex only gave short replies to Adrianne to an extent that even she felt awkward talking to him. Alex could no longer bear the awkwardness of the situation, he then told Adrianne that it is much better if they do not see each other as frequently as they usually do. Of course Adrianne complained and questioned Alex why he was acting that way, they spent time together most of the time since childhood. Alex then replied by saying that it is no longer appropriate for them to hang out as much as they usually do before considering that now she is already with Harold. Adrianne was shocked with Alex's reply. She only walked away from him silently, as tears slowly flow down her cheeks.

Why was she crying? Well, most probably because Alex was her close friend since childhood. That is as far as it goes, just a friend and no more. Alex could not bear seeing Adrianne with another guy but at the same time he wishes that she would be happy with the one she loves, therefore the only thing he could do was to end their friendship. At least that could end a bit of his torment.

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"Ummmmmm......." The angel suddenly stopped telling the story as she was having difficulty trying to think how the story should continue. "Well? Then what?" I asked the angel. "Umm..... I don't know... I can't think of anything... Now the story became worse... It's all becuz of uuu.. Ummm.. umm.. uhuk waaaaaa~" the angel replied as she then suddenly broke into tears due to the fact that she could not think of anything to change the flow of the story and instead made it worse. "Awwww, alololo~ Don't cry, don't cry.. You are such a bad story teller.. Okay okay, lemme see... Lemme continue the story... Okay... Here is how the story continues..." I then said to the angel as she quickly stopped crying to focus to what I have to say with her glittering beautiful eyes filled with hope to hear to a good ending towards the story...

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After a few weeks or so, Alex's condition became worse. He could not eat properly, he could not even think properly... His life was messed up... Nothing makes sense anymore... Suddenly his life was all about Adrianne... Suddenly he could not live properly without Adrianne... So suddenly he realizes how much his life is centered around Adrianne and how empty his life is without her... He was hanging out alone at the Mamak stall one day. Not far away from where he sat down, he noticed Harold was walking towards him. The feeling of hatred suddenly arises as he looked towards Harold but he tried to calm himself down. Harold said Hi to Alex. Alex only replied with an mmmm.... Harold asked him why he Alex was no longer hanging around with Adrianne. Alex only replied with another mmmm.... Repeatedly Alex tried to start a conversation with Alex but it was all in vain as his only reply was with another mmmm....

Until finally, Alex could no longer control his emotion. He stood up from his seat and started scolding Harold saying "Shut up!! You don't even know what I am going through here! You do not even know how hard it is for me!!! Don't act like you know me because you don't even know how it is to be me right now!!". Suddenly Harold's eyes were filled with anger as he slowly came closer to Alex. He instantly pushed Alex towards the ground. Alex was ready to fight with Harold but then Harold started scolding him back when he was still on the ground. Harold said "You shut up!! Grow up!! How long does it take for you to realize that life is not as how you perceive it to be! Grow up and be a man already! You're pathetic! I know you love Adrianne, but I want you to know that I love her more than you could possibly imagine! You know nothing about me! You know nothing about how I feel! If you want Adrianne, then you better work your ass for it! Tomorrow is your last chance, if by then you still do not make your move, I plan to take her overseas with me!" he then walked away.

At first Alex felt angry towards Harold's statement regarding the fact that he said Alex doesn't know anything about his feelings. Alex thought to himself that Harold was the one who does not understand anything about the terrible agony he was feeling... Harold was happy... What the hell does he know... He was thinking about starting a fight with Harold but that idea quickly faded away after hearing to Harold's statement regarding the fact that tomorrow he was about to take Adrianne away from the country... Most probably because of his father's occupation. They could not care less about Adrianne not finishing her studies, they are friggin RICH enough to cover that part.

Alex slowly entered the state of thinking that night... How will it be after this? How will the day after tomorrow be when Adrianne was no longer here? Will it be better? Or will it be worse? Should he let it be? Or should he make it worse? Too many questions, but none answered... He then finally took a stand and thought to himself.... "That's it... I've been following the flow of life all this while... It is about time for me to go against it...."... He thought to himself that Harold was a jerk and he was not good enough for Adrianne... He also thought to himself that if he was not good enough for Adrianne, then no one is good enough for her... Even though he is still not good enough for Adrianne, he will try to improve further and further, day by day... It is something that he will surely do for Adrianne...

Tomorrow approaches... Alex waited for Adrianne at the University praying that Adrianne has not yet departed to the airport with Harold... Alex's prayer was answered, Adrianne was there... She was so beautiful... Something that only he could totally appreciate... He boldly went towards her and then instantly told her not to say a thing... He wants her to hear to what he have to say and he only wants her to listen to it all the way... "Shh.. I just need you to listen... I'm sorry for the ways that I have been awkwardly acting all this while... I'm sorry for avoiding you... Adrianne... Truth be told... I am awfully in love with you... I know this may sound weird, but it is simply just something that I need to tell you or else I would regret... I am just a guy, there is a limit to how much regret I can hold... I know that you're with Harold... I just want you to know, I am so dumb to not notice my actual feeling towards you...I noticed it a moment too late... I regret that... I notice... That you are the one that shaped my life to an extent that my life would be empty without you... With you, I feel there is nothing more I could ask for... Which is why I fail to realize this feeling I have towards you.. Now that I am without you, I realize... How empty and sad my life actually is... No matter how much I want to change or deny this fact... I will always be in love you...".

Adrianne could not think of a word to say as she was speechless... It was the kind of non-verbal communication that they have with each other which enables them to know how they feel towards each other... They do not require words to know how they feel about each other... But they require them to make it official... Alex then said "And yeah, Harold is a jerk...". Adrianne then gave out a small laughter. They hugged each other and then Alex asked "Well, what now? It is going to be a pain for me to rival Harold from now on.".

"What do you mean?" Adrianne asked.
"What do you mean what do I mean? You're with him right?" Alex replied.
"Alex... Harold had already went overseas with his father last night... We broke up last night after Harold finally accepts that he could not win my heart." Adrianne told Alex.
".....What do you mean he could not win your heart?" Alex asked.
"At first I told Harold that I love you, but I thought that this feeling is only one-sided... I told him that I don't love him... But he insist that I gave him a chance to make the feeling grow... So I gave him the chance... But the feeling never grew.. And now I am with you..." Adrianne replied with a smile...

Alex only smiled and then continued to hug Adrianne... But then he thought to himself... When Harold told him previously that Alex could not understand how he felt... It must probably be that he meant Alex could never possibly understand how it felt to work his hardest to win the heart of the one he love with everything he got, but still his love is one-sided... After all, Alex didn't even need to try much... Adrianne was already in love with him from the start....

The End...

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"Awwwww~~~!!! Soooo sweeeeet~! Hihihihi!" The angel told me after I finished the story. I then said "Whaaat?? Don't you feel sad for Harold?? I purposely make it that way so that you will feel sad for him.". The angel then gave me a spoiled-brat-kind of expression on her face and said "Hmmmmph!!! I hate new characters who suddenly come into a story~! Plus, one-sided love sucks~! I'm happy that Alex and Adrianne is now together, hihihihi~! This is fun~!". I then said "Whatever..".

"Chubby! Lezzz goooo~! Thanks for the story, I will come again next time once I come up with a good story! This time for real~! Bye2~! *Wink wink*." the angel told her Teddy Bear to get off me and return to the heaven with her as she floats away towards a shining light....

"Noooo!!! Please don't come back!!! And where do you think you are going with my cookies!!" I screamed helplessly in despair towards the angel.

The angel only ignored me as she went away while laughing "Hihohihohiho!! *munch munch*" and at the same time eating my delicious cookies....

(What a childish story, well... What do you expect? I'm awesome~!)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence