Ramadhan

The arrival of Ramadhan... Something that should be welcomed by us with the attitudes that fit the Muslims. But I guess different people have different ways to welcome the arrival of Ramadhan itself. Some people might go to the club before the arrival of the Ramadhan, some others might decide to get angry towards their friends for not inviting them to the club, and etc.

I guess people are just too caught up in their life to actually realize their meaning and purpose of existence in life. Too caught up in the challenges in life that Allah (SWT) gave to the extent that they forgot that all the challenges they are currently facing is made possible due to Allah (SWT) itself. Knowing that fact, is it not obvious enough to simply know what we should really do is to return to Him and not curse on everything else that has happened to them?

But some people decides to become all EMO and think that life is all about him... Too caught up in it to the extent that they fail to realize that they are just simply a slave to Allah (SWT). Cursing and hating everything that is happening in their life... Everything that is happening in their life was decided by Allah (SWT), so theoretically this basically means that these people are cursing and hating the decisions of Allah (SWT), without even realizing how serious that is. This theory is only logical I presume...

These people might even go to the extent of questioning WHY are all the bad things happening to them. As a Muslim, I don't even know why they even ask that kind of question.. Do they lack the knowledge about Islam? No, usually these people have the core knowledge about Islam.. So why is it that this stupid question is raised up? Lets see~ What is the purpose of the Quran... To be understood.. To be memorized.. Yeah, these people do understand and memorize the contents of the Quran.. So what are they missing?? Owh wait.. There's another one... Quran is to be understood, memorized, and IMPLEMENTED... Oooowh, now I see what they are missing.. =]

I find it ironic seeing these very people giving advices to other people when others encounter conflicts, they even sometimes recite the ayat in the Quran when they do so. BUT... When their life turns upside down, they go against their very own advices completely... Do they not realize they're being hypocrites? A man who does not go by his own words, is a man who is not ready to carry out a man's responsibilities. So if u want to get married but ur having this criteria, do everyone else a favor and scratch out that dream of urs. You need to firstly improve urself, lets say by firstly... Keep to ur words as man.

I write this topic as general. I bet countless others can relate themselves to this topic, if u do feel somewhat connected and related to this topic... It sucks to be u then XD

When a guy is in a relationship, they take care of others including their own. How do u intend to take care of others, if u urself cant take care of ur own? Just something that needs to be thinked about.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Left With Nothing Except Emotions

Well, to put it simply, my laptop and wallet was stolen when I was performing Zuhur prayer in the mosque of UIA Gombak.. Yeah it sucks really.. I was praying in a position where I should be able to notice if someone were to make hasty movements near my beg (which contains my wallet and laptop, I don't know why but that day I felt like putting my wallet into that beg of mine...weird..). I was praying quite fast actually, so I was quite confident no one would steal my stuff within that short moment.. But I was wrong!! I think that guy stole it when I was doing my "sujud". I was just late for about 7 seconds I think.. When I was done praying, I went to collect my stuff but then I couldn't find it where I left it. So, this is when I wasted a couple more seconds pondering to myself ..

"Aaaa, where did it I last put it? I was sure it was here... Hmmm..." while the thief was already running away somewhere..

Then two guys approached me, asking in a panic way "was that ur freakin beg man!?" (well, I made up the way he speak and translates them in english, they were actually malays that looks like ustaz).

So, I was like.. "yeah..". Then they said "Damn, a guy stole ur beg just now man!!" then we went into "pursuit" of futile. Wasted too much time on guessing where did the guy went to and then poof! Too late...

So in the end I talked to one of the two dudes who also apparently got his laptop stolen last week. For the past 7 days he waited while trying to spot the thief. Last time he was in a blur just like me, but this time he identified that guy. But I suspect that will the last time he see's him though. Most probably that son of b*#ch is not the student of UIA anyways. So I went back to my room emptyhanded.. Felt so empty... If only I could only see just a back of his body even 50 metres away from me, I would without a doubt caught him and beat the hell out of him, leaving a couple of his tooth behind. XD

Now2, don't try to give me advice on "dude, if u were to keep the stuff REALLY2 near u, it wouldn't have been stolen!!"... I'm not the type of guy who leave stuffs like I did that day.. I don't know why, but on that day I felt like doing it... There is nothing I could do anyways, if it is fated for my stuff to get stolen, there are thousands of other ways Allah could have made my stuff stolen even if I guard it. It was my fate that my stuff would get stolen, no use of getting angry about it, just learn from it. Yeah, when that event happened I was not angry actually. I felt like, owwwh, I guess this is fate, I appreciate that Allah still remembers me (of course He does, its just a matter of speech). I said alhamdulillah various amount of times, I know I was not supposed to feel sad or angry, but I couldn't help the feeling of being sad at that time. The wallet and laptop was like my MOST favourite stuff that I must have around me at least 60% of the time in a day. My wallet stays with me 95% time of the day. These two objects were like a part of me in a way, it was like a symbol that portrays who I am... Without them I feel so incomplete..

Some of my friends would say "uuuu~ when did u become religious?", well f#*k you~! I don't feel like answering that question. Well, anyways, I am unabble to return back home for 2 weeks straight right now due to assignments that can't be done on weekdays itself. Im going to make sure that I return back home this week.

This event should actually shape me into a better person really, but with all the assignments an quizzes and mid-term exam coming up, I am noticingly delaying that improvement without my freewill. Even if I wanted to my mind is not dedicated enough I guess...

Actually, I am cool enough to be able to eliminate this "emo" thingy with rational and coolness thinking itself. But hey! Its so very rare for me to encounter this "emo" sensation, so I figured I would like like to savor this "emo-ness" to the fullest before I become COOL as a whole again....

I love myself.. XD

Owh! Owh!! I mean.... ;<

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Sadness And Rage Altogether...

I felt Infuriated... Disappointed... and regret... as sadness slowly controlled over me on the 12th of August 2009...

I was inside UIA Gombak's Mosque when it all occurred.. With a laptop in hand, I decided to keep my wallet in my beg as I was feeling uncomfortable with it in my pocket, for the very first time..

To be continued... Not in the mood..

I'm Complicating Things

I feel my life has been very complicated lately.. But then again, logically it is I who makes it complicated. Perspective is something to be admired.. Perspective is reeeally something.. I can see how my mind works quite funny lately.. Usually I have only one perspective in mind.. One at a time.. Either positive or negative, take a pick.. But now here when I'm in Gombak, it has become two-in-one. I think about things in both-way.. At the same time.. You know when you go through matters using ur brain and then ur brain starts to communicate to itself to reason to urself on what should be done or how to see things that are currently in ur life? usually when I go through all that, there will only be one voice speaking in my mind.. But lately, *this week to be more direct*, my mind consist of two voices.. Of course they are my voice, but both saying different things, with different perspectives and different solution.. Its as if I have a split personality which basically combines to produce what I am currently..

This situation also basically gave me a combination of emotions, which I find very weird.. You know, when we think negatively it basically arouses our anger, sadness and etc.. When you think positively it arouses ur calmness, happiness and etc.. What happened last night basically made me write this blog of mine.. I encounter this situation, my mind starts to communicate with itself, with it comes two different voices with two different perspective which also came with two different emotions.. When I was encountering it, I didn't think much, but now that it happened I was quite amazed.. It was weird that I was able to feel angry and calm at the same time.. Feel that the situation is complicated but easy at the same time.. Comes out with negative perspectives and positive perspectives at the same time.. Usually when you reason with yourself, you come out with a single outcome, be what it may be positive or negative.. But I came out with 2 different outcomes, negative and positive.. Both makes sense with equal argument.. There's no choosing which is true because both of them are, its just different perspectives that differentiates them..

Usually the negative solution makes u feel good at the beginning, but will later on makes u regret. The positive ones make is irritating at first, but will later on show its benefit.. Of course by choosing the negative ones, u can still be happy by lying to urself and such, but how far can self-deception take u right? Hey, I can lead a life of split personalities if I want to, but due to "mature~ness", I choose the one that gives the most benefit, both to me and others.

Lately I've been seeing people who lacks the ability to foresee the outcome of their actions which leads to a problem they could not tackle which also makes thing more complicated.. How I wish they could become more observant and analytical..

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence