When Muslims Doubt Their Own Religion

Throughout my entire life living as a person who tries to make sense of his own surroundings, I've encountered so many questions about life and the true meaning behind it. I admit it took me quite some time to finally reach the state of understanding about life as I currently have now (although I am still lacking so much more necessary knowledge), but I am grateful that I managed to live long enough to become the person I am today. 

Since the day I entered high school, I began to question what is my purpose of living my life in this modern world. Lacking the Islamic knowledge, nothing actually makes sense. Why do I have to wake up everyday and follow the norms and the system around me? Why do I have to study all these knowledge in school which seems to be of no use to me? Do I have to live according to peoples' expectation towards me? Everything seems so stupid and pointless, I don't see the reason for me to persevere and strive for further knowledge. These so-called "teachers" tell me that knowledge is the key to success, but yet I see them working in this school with complaints and some amount of regret. Looking at the teachers feeling very proud with their limited amount of knowledge, I can't help but feel that I will simply follow their pathetic footsteps even if I were to try my best to study their ways. If knowledge is that important, then why is it that in my perception of view these teachers appear so pathetic?

Every day in school I question the authority and the system around me. I see teachers contradict themselves and act almighty. I still remember an Ustaz from the school saying that the students in our school with dark-skin actually reflects their dark and filthy hearts. He literally said this, "with each sin done by an individual, a black spot appears in our hearts, when there are too many sins done, the heart will turn completely black, thus when there are no more space left, the black spots will appear in their faces, which is why some students in our school have very dark faces"..... Yup, I have a very stupid Ustaz in my school. The early part of his statement was however correct though, the following part is obviously bull crap.

My account teacher on the other hand is also a complete idiot as well. He entered the class and acts almighty and told everyone that "teachers" are LOVED by Allah. He literally said that Allah loves him so much to an extent that all of his actions are guided, he makes NO MISTAKES whatsoever. He boast that whenever he makes prediction about questions which will appear in exams, he never guess it wrong, because Allah loves him. He then CHALLENGED the whole class to search for any mistakes done by him during his teaching in class, he also said that if someone spots a mistake, he will IMMEDIATELY RESIGN.... Yup, I was surrounded by complete idiots during my school days. The funny thing is soon after he said that, he made a mistake during the class and a student pointed it out. So much for not making any MISTAKES bro. He didn't resign though. 

Surrounded by these idiots who holds authority over the whole school, I lived my life questioning everyone around me including teachers, ustaz, and everyone else for that matter seeing how these idiots do mistakes even a child like me could detect. I continued to live a rebellious lifestyle for a very long time questioning everything around me as if everyone owes me the answer. 

The funny thing is, everything started to turn around once my school life almost reached its end. I started to understand how things work and comprehend how simple the system actually is. I began to understand how weak the human minds are and how simple it took to acquire their recognition. I finally noticed that my "world" was actually just a small fragment of the actual world I am living in. Of course I am surrounded by idiots yes, but these idiots does not represent everyone in the whole world. This stereotype and limited understanding I have is simply due to my lack of exposure towards the world out there. The minute I entered UIA, I was introduced to a whole new chapter about Islam. I began to find meaning in everything I previously thought to be meaningless. I began to find beauty in everyone's wrongdoings and weakness. Everything began to make sense... As if my whole journey before me was simply a life traveled in complete darkness, and someone suddenly came and switched on the light for me.... I find it hard to describe this feeling, I just hope you guys understand what I am trying to say...  Ahh, again I am typing waaaay out of topic.... my bad.

Back to the main topic! When Muslims doubt their own religion! In my case, I had always tried to perceive the world without Islamic knowledge, and I found the world to be meaningless and pointless in many different ways. However, provided with some exposure towards what Islam is all about, everything began to make sense (I admit, my past of ignorance is not something that I am proud of). Whereas in many Muslims cases in which we have today goes the other way around. Many Muslims perceive the world with the Islamic knowledge they were given since they were a child. However, as they grow up, spoon-fed with new Western knowledge by scholars, they began to question their own faith and belief. 

For example, being exposed with the Western culture in our life via technology and mass media, we tend to take things around us for granted. The exposure of aurah, meh! Normal! Homosexuals, meh! Normal! Physical contact between opposite genders, meh! Normal! Little by little, we tend to accept these things as normal phenomenon when in fact it is something that is actually very serious when it comes to our religious context. This goes to an extent that whenever we badmouth about homosexuals in public, some idiots actually defend this homosexuals and scold us instead. Thus, many Muslims tend to keep their opinion to themselves.... What ever happened to amal makruf nahi mungkar? This is the world we are living in nowadays, too afraid to even stand for our own religion because we are too afraid of being judged by other idiots around is. Something for us to ponder, does the judgment from these people more important than the judgment that Allah will have for us? 

The Western influence slowly infiltrates our lifestyle day by day, and this is the main reason why some Muslims are starting to question their own faith and belief. For example, the application of Hudud. If Muslims become homosexuals or convert into other religion, they are supposed to be killed (if I'm not mistaken). Thus, some Muslims view this as TOO EXTREME! They would say "Why must we kill them!? Islam is TOO CRUEL! I thought Islam is a religion which respects individuals' action! I thought Islam allows people to freely practice whatever religion they so desire! How can I accept this cruel fact about Islam? It is too cruel to be true!". Hence, some Muslims begin to doubt their own faith. This is sad. 

You see, when students absorb too many Western information which is simply based on human compassion and logic alone, they tend to go further away from what Islam teaches them. Too caught up with the idea of human rights, they tend to mix it in their perception of view when they judge Islam. This is wrong. There are LIMITATIONS when it comes to the power of human reasoning. We can't judge everything by simply relying on the power of reasoning alone. Which is why we need to refer to the Qur'an and Sunnah to perceive the world. Muslims nowadays are fed with too much Western knowledge, they fail to understand Islam because they try mix them both together. Thus, Muslims nowadays are easily clouded with doubt.

If human reasoning and logic is "enough" to perceive the world and make judgment, the existence of Qur'an and Sunnah isn't necessary in the first place wouldn't it? You see, the fact is, human reasoning are full of flaws and weakness. It is not enough. Which is why when you try to combine them together in Islam, there are bound to be contradictions. 

To make things easy, I will tell you how far human reasoning can bring us. By relying on worldly knowledge and human compassion without Qur'an and Sunnah, the best thing humans can come up with is only the idea of "human rights". Which is obviously full of flaws.... "Why" you ask me? Well, the answer is simple. Yes, some human rights may be good because obviously it is done via human logic so it simply seems acceptable through logical thinking. However, how far can it bring us? Towards the end, human rights gave us the problem of homosexuals running wild all over the world and miscarriage running rampant. Most importantly, the idea of "absolute justice" does not exist. That is the limitation and how far "human reasoning" can bring you.

In most cases, the Qur'an and Sunnah is necessary in order to provide us with balance and absolute justice. People nowadays tend to perceive this world "more" than simply a temporary world thus they could not accept things which appear to be cruel such as the application of the law of hudud. I have to break it to you, but this world is indeed only temporary. In other words if we were to view it in such a way, to cut the hands of a thief is actually an acceptable price to pay to avoid the punishment in the hell fire. Just because we fail to see how scary the hell fire actually is, we tend to fear hudud more than we fear hell itself, and this is wrong. 

In other cases, many Muslims began to question their own faith because they learn much more about Islam and the information they gain tend to contradict their own Islamic teachings. For example, we have been told that Islam is an easy religion and that Allah is the most-forgiving and the most-merciful. If so, then why is the application of hudud so cruel to begin with and why is Islam so complicated? If Islam is an easy religion, then why are there so many mazhab in this world? Which one is the correct one? If Islam is an easy religion, then why is the hukum for Cigarette is so confusing? Some Ulama' says its makruh, some says its haram, which one is the correct one? Why does different mazhab say differently about aurah, methods of ibadah, hukum, etc? If we do jihad, we are guaranteed with heaven. If so, does suicide bombing counts as jihad? But in Islam it is preached that committing suicide is haram. Why does the prophet make mistakes? I thought he is the best role model for all man-kind? Why does the prophet's wife makes mistake as well? What is it that Allah is trying to prove to us by letting the prominent individuals make mistakes that Muslims should avoid? Everything is so confusing, I thought Islam is a straight religion, now everything seems so complicated... Does Allah exist in the first place? How can one exist in the past, present and the future and time makes no difference to Him? He has no beginning and no end? That makes no sense. Why does He want us to pray unto him? Why does Allah give us this test we have on earth? Why does He not give us "direct" revelation as to what he gave our Prophet (pbuh)? Why is it that someone is given birth to a non-Muslim family and is raised as a Kafir? How can he pray unto Allah if he doesn't know that Islam is the true religion? Why are there people who died in cruelty such as natural catastrophe and hunger? When people cry unto Him, why does He not answer their prayers? Why does He let them die and rot in vain? There are many children and babies who are killed and abused, they were not even given a chance to become a proper Muslim. Why are their lives taken away in such a manner? Is this the so-called Absolute Justice? And the list goes on....

You see, these are some of the question that Muslims have nowadays which has led them astray. This is not limited to those without knowledge, it goes as far as to those who memorized the Qur'an as well. In fact, there are quite a number of cases in which individuals who memorized the Qur'an actually converted into another religion. Doesn't this mean that the Qur'an is not enough to maintain our faith? 

The answer is simple actually, Islam is a simple religion. Why complicate things? :)

People tend to ask too many questions in detail, clouded by contradictions, they fail to see the entire picture as a whole. You see, its all about our perception and intention. I don't believe that an individual holds the absolute knowledge in Islam and knows all the do's and don'ts in Islam in absolute detail. If such and individual exist, then there won't be so many different "mazhabs" in this world in the first place. Why are there so many different mazhabs" Because all the Ulama' have different perception in Islam. Because of these differences, does it mean that some of the Ulama' are wrong and only a few or one of them is correct? I don't think so, because in Islam, the most important thing is our amal and intention. Why do we pray unto Allah? Because we are grateful towards him and thus we want to show our appreciation by abiding to his command. Why do we hold to hukm? Because we want to know what we should do and to avoid what we should not do. In the end, it all comes down to the same thing. All of us want to do our best to do Allah's command and avoid the action in which he does not allow. It is as simple as that.

In Islam, we know that if a Muslim does something wrong but he doesn't know it is wrong to begin with, Allah won't give him sin because he has no intention of doing something sinful. The same thing with doing something good, if someone accidentally does something good without the intention of doing it, he won't get the "deeds/hasanah" as much as he would get if he were to do it with intention of doing it for Allah. 

Why do we want to know everything as specifically as possible? Is it required? No. Is it good? In most cases, yes, but not necessarily. As long as we do the amal with the right intention and confidence, insyaallah, Allah will rewards us with Jannah. Why complicate things?

Even Ulama' who are very familiar with Qur'an and Hadiths have different opinion on how to do things in Islam, but their aim is the same, which is to please God as best as they can. Who are we to judge which is right and which is wrong? That is Allah's job, not us. Our job is to do what He told us to do as best as we can, that's it, don't complicate things. 

In Surah Al-baqarah, the Jews were told to slay a cow. Guess what? They did exactly what Muslims nowadays do, they ask the question in MORE detail! The jews ask more about the cow, should it be a male? What is the colour of the cow? Must it be healthy? How old should it be? In the end, the task became MORE DIFFICULT. Islam is an easy religion, it only becomes more difficult when you make it so.

Some cases in life goes beyond than our mental capabilities, thus when we deal with such cases, we should no longer waste our time on such matter, because we won't get the answer. To get an answer to such questions is as difficult as imagining how Allah exist without any beginnings, it doesn't makes sense, thus we should stop thinking about things that doesn't matter. It is better to leave such things unanswered and praise Allah for there are things that are bigger than our mental capabilities could comprehend.

It is sad to see some Muslims who only look upon a hadith which appears contradictory with their understanding towards Islam, and are already questioning their own beliefs. Islam is a very deep religion, which is why there are so many Extremists out there. We should know best and treat Islam as simple as possible, for there are things which are beyond our understandings. With amal and intention, we should only pray for the best that Allah accepts our actions as it is. Because in the end, only Allah can judge us for our actions, not the Ustaz, not the Ulama', not anyone. Praise be to Allah, for He is the Most Merciful and Most Knowing.

Never go for extreme, we must strive for balance. That way, Islam is an easy religion. Insyaallah, I pray that my writings are not contradictory with the Islamic teachings. :D

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence