How Would I Like To Raise My Kids

(For those who want to straight away read about stuff that actually talks about the main topic, avoid the red-colored writings)
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It is currently 7.45am, I can't seem to comfort myself enough to go to sleep and this running nose I'm having is really not helping. Spending hours during the sleepless night, I browse around Youtube searching for the current world record for "muscle ups". What is a muscle up you ask? I'm sorry? You didn't ask? Either way since I am kind, I will try to explain it to you.

Muscle up is the advanced form of pull ups, in other words it is simply like an upgraded pull up (I love how I repeat saying the same thing but separates them into two different sentences simply by using different words). In normal pull ups, imagine yourself hanging on a parallel bar, pulling yourself upward until the bar reaches your chest level, that's right. In muscle ups, imagine yourself doing the same thing, but instead, you pull yourself further UP until the bar reaches slightly lower than your waist level (during this position, your arms are stretching straightly downward while holding the bar to support your weight).

Whaaaa? You still don't understand? Pfffftttttt~! I don't blame you. So here's a video that could directly help you understand further.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGxbOFKvszY

This is by far my most favorite muscle up tutorial video. It is very funny! Unable to sleep at night finally gave me some benefits.

I'm sorry? I am typing my way off-topic? No I'm not! Be patient!

So, basically muscle ups is a difficult move. Experts say that they can safely conclude 99.99% of the overall human population can't even do a single muscle up.

Passer byres: Wow, really? That gay movement appear so easy!

Well, actually it is only hard during the first few months. After you have actually developed the right technique and muscles in the specified area, it will be easier.

However, I can only do it an average 10 times in-a-row! Last week I managed to do 16 in-a-row. Its been raining quite heavily lately, I still haven't actually had the chance to beat that personal record of mine.

However, such accomplishment is not embarrassing. Back to the point where I said "I was browsing through Youtube to search for the world record for muscle ups", well, the world record is doing 26 muscle ups in a row! Ahah! Only 10 in difference! Well, not really. That dude does the muscle up continuously like a beast without catching even a single breath in between (not literally of course). I could only go as far as 11 times in a row if I were to do it his way, I can do 16 if I take some time to catch my breath.

A random Passer byer: Idiot, you are going off-topic.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE my friend! Okay, so!!! During the day when I personally set my personal record for muscle ups at 16 time in a row, I drove myself to a nearby park. I walked myself towards a parallel bar and did the 16 muscle up thingy. After I was done with it, I swear to you, it feels like the acid in your shoulders are building up so fast, it became so tight you could no longer move it as you please. Therefore I thought to myself, owh well, I might as well go back seeing that it is not possible to continue with the workout.

As I drove myself back to my house, my shoulders slowly recovered bit by bit until I finally decided to stop by a nearby playground to continue doing the muscle ups. Instead of doing it many times in a row, I aimed to do at least 100 muscle ups before I go back home (With the addition of the 16 muscle ups I did earlier of course).

Sorry if I bore you with so much information on numbers :).

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Okay, in this playground I was standing in, there were children all over the place. There were children playing football on the field; there were children playing with the slides; children playing on top + under + between + all over the playground.

Seeing that there were so many children crowding the place, I had to strictly time myself to do 5 muscle ups within every 3 minutes so that I could finish the workout within 1 hour.

As I was doing the workout, I had to be aware of my surroundings seeing that these little monkeys are dominating the place. I realized that the parallel bar was at first, dominated by a single fat + chubby little girl always hanging around back and forth. I was smiling seeing how these chubby little kid struggles with herself just to go as far as halfway to the finish just to release her grip and goes back to do it again and over again.

However, kids being kids, they like the attention people give them. So this fat chubby little girl became more energetic as she frequently does more and more as she looks toward me for some kind of recognition (be it a smile or a small chuckle of laughter).

Other kids noticed how this fat chubby girl are getting all the attention from me thus they slowly started dominating all over the parallel bar to gain attention as well. Each and everyone of them showed off their unique skill towards me. I have to admit, these little monkeys can perform sick stuff normal grown ups can only wish of doing. I notice around two little girls with quite amazing skills really. They were hanging on the parallel bar using only their legs, enters between the spaces in the parallel bar upside-down, all kind of things lol.

So, each time they do their stuff, they will look towards me and start saying things like "My turn my turn! Its my turn!" as a signal for me to pay attention. Of course, I entertained them :P. So every 3 minutes, I approach them and say stuff like "Sorry, may I borrow this space for 10 seconds?" And then does 5 muscle ups and then quickly walk away to sit by a nearby bench to continue watch them play with themselves.

After around half an hour, I could no longer keep up with my workout schedule as the kids no longer gave me space as each of them were trying to impress me. So I decided, owh well, I might as well just enjoy the occasion and the scenery of the situation.

Remember the fat chubby kid I stated earlier? She continues to try to catch my attention but at the same time feels embarrassed when she repeatedly got left behind by her friends who are obviously faster. Each time she got left behind, she slowly became emotional as she goes to a corner to hide her face. Kids will be kids :D.

So as I finally take off my mind away from the workout and finally try to enjoy my surroundings, I began to notice the innocence in the early life of kids and their perception of their universe in their own personal unique ways.... I noticed how cute these little monkeys are and I appreciate how innocent they are in their own little world... They are always entertained by the smallest things available around them... They always appear cute no matter how stupid their actions actually may be... The type of innocence that I actually miss as this innocence fades away in time.. :)

I notice the kids playing football on the field, running around... Some of them when running actually makes sound with their own mouth as if they were running so fast, they were breaking the sound barrier... Some of them signals their friend to go further upward so that they could pass the ball but in the end accidentally kicks the ball in the opposite direction... Some of them after scoring a goal goes celebrate by running and screaming around while goes sliding through the wet grass as a victory pose... Some other kids deny the fact that the ball actually went through the goal post by saying "the ball didn't went in! the ball didn't went in!" but they know they aren't fooling anyone... Some of the kids are older than every other kids and tend to be the leader of the group, feeling superior and invulnerable in a way but in the end are taking cared like a baby when they went back home...

Kids on the playground... Running around the playground, running through the playground, running under the playground, running all over the playground... Running and running around in the same place countless times but yet they feel very excited each time they do so as if they are actually going on an adventure to an unknown area... Some kids were sharing a tricycle as they cycle around the playground... I noticed a kid asking for her turn to ride the tricycle from her friend, but her friend argued by saying "You said that I could ride the bike 4 times around the playground, this is only my second time circling around it~"... I notice a kid going down the slides for the first time accompanied by her father, she felt as if she was going down lightning fast but in our grown up perspective we know it is slow but yet we entertain them by approving their feeling of excitement...

When I was near the parallel bar, a small kid maybe around 2 years old was riding a tricycle... He was blocking my way from reaching the parallel bar... I decided to approach the kid as I slowly went behind him and then crouched so that I could be at the same level of height as he was on the tricycle.. The kid turned around, shocked, and slowly cycles away while crying... I however noticed that he was shocked and was about to cry so I quickly put on a very innocent face as the kid goes to his sister, cries while pointing at me... (Personally I think that the kid is a spoil brat and he was not cute hmmph).. Seeing how I was paying attention towards the little girls around the playground, they blame the little kid for crying out for no reason instead. Due to the innocence of the little kids, some of them even said "He is still a little kid, little kids don't have brain right?". The statement may seem harsh, but in the perspective of little kids, that is what they believe, and they say such things in the cutest innocent manner. :)

As I spent my time around with these little monkeys, I started to think about my future kids and how will they turn out to be? Will they be cute and lovely? Will they be smart and active? Or will they be naughty at school having relationship with chicks at an early age? (I can't really blame them heheh, but then again I stayed single for a very long time. The kids are not supposed to surpass their father, lol). Will they be unique? Will they depend on me for safety and comfort? Will they call my name when they are bored and lonely? Will they tell me stories about their daily activities? Will they be born with some similar traits as such as me? If so, then what kind of traits will they inherit? How will such thing affect their lifestyle? How do I want to raise my child? Will I be over-protective? Will I be too strict? Will I be too soft on them? Questions that arises and should be answered before a person actually decides to marry the one they love and bear the responsibility of taking care of a new family.

I see dudes quickly making decisions to get married, but that is only because they only consider about the responsibility they are about to bear by taking care of a wife under their care. However, when a child is born, they are not actually that ready. Most guys became ready when the child was actually born, not before the baby was actually planned. Seeing how the corrupted world has shaped itself into becoming how it is today and how youngsters are corrupted by the simplest things around them... I can't help but to worry about the life that they are going to go through... I myself had a hard time going through my early days, and that was when the community was not so corrupted as it is now with shuffles and clubbing dominating the conversation of kids nowadays...

But nevertheless, I still see many people turned out to be great around me... My friends, the people that I know... They all went through some sort of an ordeal in life, and they all seem to turn out fine... I don't remember much of my parents' role in helping me to sort out my problems in school... But that is only because such problems should only be dealt by myself... Parents can only go as far as providing us with guidelines and values in life... We decide how to apply it in life... In other words, how well our parents teach us these guidelines and values will determine how we will turn out to be as adults...

Some parents usually become a failure because they try to mix in with the life of their children when they are already teenagers... Its already too late by then... Teenagers are already going through the process of finding out who they truly are... They are already going through the phase of judging what is actually good and bad, it would already be too late if we were to only begin teaching them about whats good and whats bad by then...

As a parent, we should instill the kids with the guidelines, values, and knowledge since they are little so that they will become teenagers who will use these guidelines, values, and knowledge to decide whats good and whats bad for them when the time has come for them to finally decide what kind of person they should become...

My promise would be, I will try to be the best parent there is to be for my future kids. No matter how hard it may be, no matter how impossible it may seem... I will do my best and let Allah decide the rest..

I think I should stop posting about the philosophy of life and such, it is very Aristotle and Plato of me behaving in such a way.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Great People

It has been a while since I actually posted something worth sharing with others. Time seems to be moving so incredibly fast lately... It feels as if my energy is insufficient if I were to continue living with my current lifestyle... One day fully spent will prove to bring another day fully wasted specially preserved for resting alone... I seem to reach out for too many things in life to an extent that I am not actually improving in any of them. People say negativity makes people appear pathetic, so we need to apply optimism in life *puts on a yellow hat*. However, being too optimistic will also make you look pathetic in the perspective of others as well *takes off the yellow hat*. So how should we approach life to its fullest?

I have met so many great people in UIA, both girls and boys. Each time I laid my eyes on a great individual, I will study the individual intensively in detail through observation and collection of data using different methods available *it is an unconscious hobby of mine really*. I am very interested in individuals with this "greatness" I see which highly differentiates them from other people around them. People with this gift/talent, seems to unleash an aura of their own... A feeling of their presence alone tells you how different they are from people around them... In a way, it is an aura of superiority...

Everyone have their own unique greatness. Some in physical area, some more towards the mental area. This unique people in the perspective of others appear super duper extremely Great to an extent that they even seem to appear invulnerable before the challenges in life... HOW can this be? Why are there people out there born with this greatness? They appear so perfect, others can only live in inferiority.... I guess this is how reality works...

Of course that is simply viewed from the perspective of average others. Really, no matter how great a person actually is, deep inside and behind their wall of greatness lies a very vulnerable being we all call "human".

I agree that I was extremely amazed each time I found a person I consider to be "GREAT". But as time passes by, I notice how fragile these so-called "great" beings actually are. Each and every great person I know have some sort of weakness. Most of the time this weakness can be ridiculed by common others, that is how fragile they actually are deep inside.

Some people are so great, but deep inside they have sooooo overly low self-esteem to an extent that they spend most their time feeling miserable. On the other hand, some people with this greatness have overly high self-esteem to an extent that they become hated by others. Ultimately, overly high/low self-esteem will make a person pathetic.

A "GREAT" person who have a very low self-esteem, feels unwillingly fragile when they are in the presence of others but at the same time they know that such others are more inferior compared to them, its complicated. However, this kind of people often have a very high sense of personal insecurity towards their own image they are portraying to others. In other words, they fear being misinterpreted by others and they fear to be perceived as a weak individual. Since these people have a very high sense of security, only a very few amount of people (maybe 1 or 2) will actually become their friend whom their secrets will be shared with. A very fragile and lonely person behind a very great figure in the eyes of others. These kind of people are mostly kindhearted :).

Some other "GREAT" people who have a very high self-esteem tends to be too overly confident to an extent that they give out statements saying great things about their own intelligence and complexion. There is nothing wrong with their statement, its just that some other people tend to be irritated by the presence of their "superiority" and wants to bring them down. Thus these kind of people will tend to be surrounded by at least "some" if not many haters. These kind of people usually becomes very very lonely and they will definitely appreciate the few great friends who actually accept them for who they are. I guess this is common, you can see them in television dramas in fact :P. These kind of people will tend to encounter a situation in which they will encounter problems with at least one of their fellow clique. This is because this friend of theirs will behave in a way that seems to be unacceptable in their perspective. Of course they will try to cope up with the unacceptable behavior of their friend. However, such actions will only make these great people feel more miserable. Thus, they will confront this friend of theirs (or avoid/ignore), and scar the existing "friendship". Afterward they will learn a very valuable lesson about the true "definition" of friends and be more careful the next time around.

Of course there are MANY other sort of greatness out there that can be stated in this post however, the point is rather simple, every people we know no matter how "great" they actually are, they are simply human beings at heart. They have hearts that can be melted with nice actions and hearts that can be broken with disappointment. They are not a machine that can consistently triumph over the challenges in life without being scarred.

In fact, each and every GREATNESS I see in people are the result of the GREAT ordeal they had to personally overcome back in their past. I had NEVER yet come across a GREAT person who does not have a GREAT story to tell about their past...

A person's past shapes a person's future. In other words, a person's past shapes a person's greatness. If so, then how do we truly define "greatness"? Greatness can be defined in many different ways in many different point of views. But my definition of simple greatness would most probably be.......

"those who are given great obstacles in life, persistently facing the great ordeal, consistently getting up after falling down, continuously looks forward even when everything's a blur.... They will rise and rise again without even knowing when everything is over, they have achieved greatness."

Yes, I know, that definition is weak, but it is my own definition towards greatness, so in a way, I can never be wrong, heheh... There are countless people who are given great challenges in the very early stages of their life... Some challenges in life appear to be too challenging and too early to be faced by some individuals at their young age... It makes them feel that life seems so unfair and reality seems to be so cruel. Facing the great obstacles in life, powerless in every way, we could only learn to know about the cruelty in life and how to face it. Many would fail these great challenges in life and become what many people perceive as "failures". But that is only because these individuals are not strong enough to face this great ordeal without the help of others. They are misguided, alone, and could only follow what seems like the "easiest" path in life which is actually the path of "destruction".

Among these many failures who could not bear living with the challenges in life, lies a few not many, people who are instilled with greatness. These few people managed to consistently stand strong and finally overcome the great challenges before them. Slowly but surely, their life will finally begin, everything will slowly make sense, life will appear to be not as complicated as you previously view it to be since you can finally view life with eyes unclouded.

These are basically the kind of people who I perceive as "great". Those who can easily stand firm before the challenges that could make others panic. Those who can easily apply empathy in life as they themselves had gone through great unimaginable ordeal in life. Those who have a very strong set of rules in life which they themselves created in the past to survive the great challenge (which is why every great person is unique from one another). Those who have a very deep and complex personality only few would be able to truly understand and appreciate.

Of course, I would say there can be an argument whether this "greatness" is actually the result of pure "strength" or pure "luck".

Again, there are many many many other kind of greatness out there, but this is the kind of greatness I am most interested with. Wow, I have shifted quite far away from the main topic...

Actually, the main reason I posted this topic is to basically state how disappointed I am each time I found a great person, deep inside each and everyone of them lies a very typical weakness or flaw which does not make them PURELY GREAT as a whole. In other words, Great on the outside, fragile in the inside.

But slowly as I began to write about this topic and unintentionally went off-topic... I slowly realize what a fool I am to even actually feel disappointed with the fact of never actually finding a person with pure greatness. I am slowly starting to appreciate this greatness and flaw they have which makes them who they are right now... Life suddenly appear so beautifully unique.. in a way... Hmm... In times like this, I love to spend most of my time in my own world of imagination where Intrapersonal communication dominates. Okay, I need to quickly finish this post.

Okay, so in other words *back to the very main TOPIC*, we must not have a very low/high self-esteem. In fact, we should apply "moderation". Imagine yourself being scolded by your parents and being asked a very stupid question, you should never be too smart or too stupid when answering the question, you should be moderate :D. Moderation is a way of life, again, one of the many GREATNESS of Islam is for highly stressing important things like this :).

Sometimes it sickens me when people think that they are finally starting to know me and makes generalization about me when they physically meet me in life and experience my physical presence thus noticing my behaviors and actions I portray to them. I am not truly who I am through the actions I show and the words I speak and the blogs that I have written.

Speaking of this, I recently notice how silent I am when I am in the presence of my parents. This fact ASTONISHED me. I am starting to realize how much my parents actually do not know about me. When I eat at the table or when I am in the car or whenever I am around them, I only speak when necessary and answer questions when asked. Most of the time I sit in my own room and stay silent around them. How can people actually know me if my parents alone don't know much about me??

Some people say that I am silent, some say that I am overly talkative. Some say that I am arrogant, some say that I am nice. Some say that I curse too much, some say that they could not even IMAGINE me cursing. Some say that I am too predictable, some say that they don't understand me. Some say that I am hardworking, some say that I am a couch-potato. Some say that I am cold, some that I am very funny. Some say "this" about me, some say "that" about me.

Hmm... I am a geek who is awesomely addicted to playing games but at the same time highly active in physical activities. I am highly silent with the people I dislike and highly talkative with the people I am comfortable with. I show kindness to those who I feel deserving and act like bullcrap to those who deserve otherwise. I act in the way people want me to act so that they can comfortably have a conversation with me (with some others), I act in an awkward way with a few others, I act in the way who I actually am to a very few selected others. I show arrogance to some and my humble self to others. I couldn't care less about people's perception towards me, but there are times when I tend to care. I have a very high sense of self-motivation when it comes to a challenge that involves competition, but I have a very low self-motivation when it comes to improving myself for the sake of self-improvement alone.

I am like an actor and the world is my stage. Why am I not getting paid for this? Lol. I hate it when I try to put everything in words. It will only stir confusion and unwanted false generalization towards me. No matter how great a person may be, they can never live alone. Thus they require and seek for someone whom they can truly show who they are deep inside and share everything they have about themselves. So for those who promote a life without a partner, all I can say is you have yet much to learn. :D

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence