Paras|te |s An Ex|stence

Something about polygamy

2012-01-22T20:18:00.000-08:00

As usual, before I dwell myself into the topic which is stated in the title above, I would divert myself by talking about random stuff before proceeding with the main topic. So now lets begin with a number of things that I would like to say, express, or share.

#Random Post Number 1

Now, why in the world do people write something in their blogs? Obviously everyone have their own reasons. Some simply wants to share their life experience, people say sharing is caring, I say sharing is attention-whoring. I'm not saying its not good, in fact, attention-whoring is perhaps one of my greatest hobby if I may say so myself. Psychologically speaking, this can be explained through the human's hierarchy of needs. What is it? Well, basically it is a pyramid which states the needs of humans which is separated into 5 different categories ascending from the bottom to the top in relevance to their level of need. The image below will help you understand a bit more about it.

As you can see from the image above, the middle section of the pyramid emphasizes on the social needs of human beings. Majority of bloggers simply use blog as a medium to attain social acceptance and the idea of self-belongingness in cyberspace.

Now, the second reason why most bloggers blog is because they want to use it as a method of improving themselves in terms of their writing, creativity, or maturity. Most of the time, it usually appears like a very interesting idea to do this for newbies. But little do they know that most of the time, when these people get older, they will be disgusted, irritated, annoyed, and even ashamed of themselves in their past writing. Thus most of them usually decides to delete or renew their blog.

Have you guys noticed that the number of bloggers had amazingly decreased throughout the years? This is due to the existence of facebook itself. Most people simply write blogs so that others would read and comment about their posts. With the help of facebook, that is very easily attainable without the need of much effort. PLUS! Only a little amount of people manage to become successful bloggers, whereas others simply have blogs which people never visit and comment (one of the sad examples would be my blog, *sniff sniff*). So, people usually divert their attention towards the use of facebook to write short status updates in replacement of their usual blogposts.

#Random Post Number 2

I wonder how much of you guys actually know about SOPA?

#Random Post Number 3

Getting into an argument is perhaps one of the most useful ways of improving your debating skills. But there are some individuals and some topics of arguments that you should refrain yourself from participating into, for example, having a religious argument with an atheist. Why? Because no one can win. Plus, each party will ignore the opposition's argument since they do not accept their points. It is almost as if you are seeing a deaf person arguing with a blind person. The deaf person is arguing that with the ability if sight, you can best see the true beauty of the world by looking at the color of rainbows an etc. Whereas the blind person argues that with the ability of hearing, you can best see the true beauty of the world by hearing the beautiful sounds of nature and musics. Each won't be able to convince their points to one another thus the arguments will be never-ending. Now the true question here is, how does a deaf person argue with a blind person?

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Polygamy

I am not from a religious school and I was always oblivious of whatever which is happening around me during my days in school. The first time I actually paid attention to and understood the meaning of polygamy was during my school days when I was 16 years old (form 4). At that time, my teacher wanted the class to argue with one another in front of the class about polygamy, whether or not it should be applicable for men. Two male students (supporting polygamy) and two female students (disagree with polygamy) went in front of the class to argue with one another. At first I was like, what in the world is polygamy? After they started to argue, only then that I knew it actually refers to a term that describes a man having more than one wife.

The dudes argued that polygamy should be supported because the amount of women is more then men, some will be single and forever alone if polygamy is not applied (not to mention the amount of those men who died before marriage and homosexuals at large). They also argued that if a women became a widow, it is most likely that no single man wants to marry that woman, thus the more reason why polygamy should be applicable because an experienced married men know how to manage a family and are most likely to accept the widow as their wife.

The girls on the other hand argued that MEN are not RESPONSIBLE enough to handle polygamy. They were speaking from their own self-experience of having a father who neglects their family because he was more attentive towards the other wife. So they argued that men won't be able to properly practice fairness and this would invite trouble and unnecessary problems to the family.

Towards the end, of course the teacher says that Polygamy should be supported because it is the Islamic rule that Allah has provided.

I believe that the arguments being done was not pleasing since the girls end up feeling as if they are still correct since their argument was not countered by the male students. I was quite disappointed by the male students because they were supposed to represent us, in fact they self-willingly went to the front of the class to do so. I was bewildered by the stupidity of the dudes who were obviously whoring for attention instead of standing for polygamy. I was also astonished by the stupidity of the girls for daringly trying to prove that polygamy (the law that Allah himself had established) should be abolished.

When we argue with these kind of people who's against polygamy, it is obvious that by simply stating about statistical facts and saying that this is the law of Allah will not be enough to properly convince them. So lets just be nice and try to see things in their perspectives and be in their shoes for a second. Now, the first thing you should do is agree with them a bit by saying that what they are trying to say is understandable. It is true that guys will most likely fail in terms of properly taking care of their wives and families in complete fairness. Thus polygamy usually leads to broken families in Malaysia.

However, we should not refer to those failures to ultimately represent what polygamy is all about. Now, what is the role of a husband and a father? We know that once a man marries a woman, he carries all the sin of his wife and also carries the sin of his daughters if he so fails to guide them. Even if he were to spread the teachings of Islam and converts people into Muslim, when the time has come and he wants to enter heaven, his wife and daughter will cling to him and say "why did you not guide us properly and leave us damned to hell? Why did you spread the teachings of Islam to others but ignore us as we do sins everyday? We demand that you enter the depths of hell with us because you did not perform your duty as a husband and a father" (well, something like that).

One should know how HIGH the responsibility of a HUSBAND actually is. One should know how PREPARED a MAN must be before he performs his MARRIAGE. One should know how DIFFICULT it actually is to perform the role of a husband. If one knows about all these, then one knows that MARRIAGE is for a MAN who is fully PREPARED to held the full RESPONSIBILITY of being a husband, and things like dishonesty and cheating should be nothing to worry about.

In the age we are living in, marriage is looked upon as if a normal thing. They fail to see the actual beauty behind marriage itself and what it symbolizes. It symbolizes the wife entirely devoting her life to help her husband and lend him her trust, hoping that he would be the one who will properly guide her to heaven. It symbolizes the husband willing to carry the entire burden of being responsible for all of his wife's sin, and guide her until the day he dies. Nowadays, people only see money and commitment as the key factor in marriage. They pay less attention to the actual responsibility one should carry once they are married and the consequences if one were to fail.

Seeing how HEAVY a MARRIAGE actually is and how HIGH the REQUIREMENT that one should reach to actually get married... Then one should know that POLYGAMY is not for any average Joe. Polygamy is indeed a special case that should only be practiced by few who are actually capable of doing so. Women usually disagree with polygamy because they believe that men are not capable of practicing equal-fairness, that is only true because they simply refer to the kind of man that they usually meet in real life. In reality, not every man can carry the responsibility of a husband in polygamy. We should know that Allah is all-knowing and He would not establish a law with flaws. In fact, Allah is all-knowing he establishes Polygamy because He knows the ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

There is a limit to reasoning with our human intellect when it comes to religion, that is where faith and the pillars of Iman plays into context. You try to reason too much in terms of logic, then you will end up like those in the Western countries who supports Human rights and ends up being filled with homosexuals and free sex. That is how far human reasoning can bring you without the help of religion.

Thus, it is obvious that if a man actually performs his requirements and does all his role as a husband in Polygamy, then nothing will go wrong. In fact, polygamy is actually a beautiful thing but people as such as us who are too focused on the concept of ONE TRUE LOVE (too caught up with Western movies and modern relationships), will not be able to see and appreciate the true beauty of polygamy. That is indeed very sad...

However, that is understandable. Because even by knowing all this, I find it hard to appreciate the beauty of polygamy as well. I know the beauty of it, but it is hard to internally appreciate it with all honesty because I am not familiar with it. When it comes to religion Islam, we need knowledge, faith, and effort to fully accept, see, practice, appreciate and love Islam as a WHOLE. Some people fail to appreciate the true beauty of hari raya korban, they fail to appreciate to beauty of hudud, and many other stuff due to the fact that they are too caught up with human reasoning alone. Most Muslims still haven't reached this state because they are too caught up with "life", they fail to see that life on earth is simply a temporarily station to collect deeds before we go to our next eternal location which might be heaven or hell.

In Islam, just KNOWING is NOT enough. It requires MORE than that, more than my words can say. That is one of the true beauty of Islam, which many others fail to see and haven't reached. I myself haven't reached this level and am still in the struggle of achieving such position. Because I am simply not strong and willing enough to offer my love and affection to other women out there other than Arinah Rozhan who I believe will be my future wife that I will guide in the future. But for those out there who wants to practice polygamy, I will give you my full support in doing so :D.

Problems.. Inspiration.. Something New I learn About Myself.

2011-07-27T23:18:00.000-07:00

Each and everyone of us have their own problems and secrets that they have to cope with.

Some handle their problems better than others, some others the other way around.

There are others out there who already encountered major problems in life.

Whereas there is also others out there still living care-freely without any worries whatsoever. Little do they know that there is a very high possibility that there might be some "problems" instilled for them in the future. Fate works in a very mysterious way, nothing is certain.

When we say the word "problem", I am pretty sure each and everyone of us have a problem. The FIRST question that should come to mind is not HOW the problem should be SOLVED. But more importantly, HOW does one ENDURES and HANDLE their problem to begin with. We should know by now that a "problem" is not actually a "problem" if the solution for the "problem" can be thought of so easily. Obviously, a "problem" should be clearly defined as a "problem" when the solution for the problem is never certain. As you can see, "problem" can only be solved with the help of "time".

Typically, when one encounters a problem... A clear solution does not exist. Instead, the only option people have most of the time is to "wait and see how it goes".

Why are problems so damn annoying? Psychologically speaking, one would say that it has got to do with our core of thinking itself, our mind. Our brain consists of complex systems which are intertwined with one another. These sets of complex systems beautifully merges with one another to make everything work under a single system. One thing about Psychology is that different perspectives always arises and what makes them interesting is none of them are actually absolute. No one can clearly set the line and say which one is completely correct and wrong. So what we do is we basically refer to all these different perspectives to make sense of the human system........ I have wondered too far off here, lets take a few step backwards now. Why are problems so damn annoying? Some psychologist believes that our brain is always working 24 hours a day. It continually works even when we are asleep. In other words, our brain is like a super computer.

Now, imagine what happens when our brain encounters a problem? Obviously our brain will literally work its ass off to figure out the solution. Usually when it comes to mathematical problems for example, it puts a very high amount of pressure towards our brain when we are figuring out the answers to the problem. However, when the solution is gained, the pressure slowly fades away. Why? Because the brain is finally relieved from figuring out the solution. The longer the brain has to figure out a solution, the more the pressure adds up.... But... What happens if the problem couldn't be solved through thinking alone? Well, some say that we could simply think about something else instead and ignore it. However, some psychologist says that no matter how deliberately we try to ignore the subject matter, the brain will always unconsciously figure out the solution towards the problem even though the solution does not exist. Therefore, more and more pressure is built up as the time passes by. In other words, we will still feel pressured no matter how much we try to hide it.

Now, different people cope with their problems differently. This should be our main focus. Why?Because this in a way, will define who we are. Why is this so important? Well, if I have to point it out myself, there are many well-known people out there who is admired just because of how they handled their dark past. These people are admired because of how they overcome the problems many others fail to overcome themselves. These people inspires those out there... They became others source of inspiration...They are the very existence that proves problems can be solved no matter how ridiculous it may seem... People are relieved to know when their problems are insignificant when compared to some of those out there in the world.

Lets take people around you for example. I am pretty sure you have seen loads of different type of people so far. Some are the quiet type, some are easy going, some are simply irritating. Now when it comes to problem, we can see how these people cope up with theirs. Some keep their problems to their selves and managed to handle their problems professionally. Some others fail to keep their cool and instead become an over-dramatic queen who tells the whole world about his/her "problems" as if she/he is the only unlucky being on the face of this earth. Believe me when I say there are others out there who has problems that are unimaginably cruel. But still, some of the people out there who has to confront with this overwhelming "problems" somehow managed to keep their "cool". How is this possible?

Not many people are capable of keeping their cool when they are facing problems of their own. Most of the time they can't handle it and what they do is they try to find ways to help them feel fine such as expressing to their loved ones about how they feel deep inside. But not everyone does so in a positive way. There are times in our life when we see people trying to escape the harshness of reality by exercising, playing, hanging out, smoking, fighting, causing more problems and such.

Do you guys now see why I mentioned previously that our ways of confronting our problems will define who we are? People will always remain being who they are as long as no other events occur that will change it otherwise. There are sayings that simply goes like "You will know who that person truly is when he/she is facing problems". How come? Well, I believe that when people are facing problems, these problems will have a high chance of shaping the person's future way of thinking and behavior.

Let's just give a typical example to understand this better. Most of the time we can see girls/boys at our young age complaining about the ones they are in love with. How do they handle the outcome when they found out their "loved" ones cheat on them or dump them for reasons they can't accept? On facebook for example, we see girls posting status updates such as "All guys are the same! They never understand us! They are liars! They are a lying piece of sh-". Sadly, this also goes the same to the dudes.... We can see some dudes who says "Every girls are the same. I might as well stay single. Bros before Hoes~!"......... Which is really really really quite SAD if you ask me.

Because of the personal problem they faced, most of them will generate a stereotype form of thinking. I'd say this is natural as the brain is simply creating a defensive mechanism that will prevent the host from repeating the same mistake. However, it is good to know that knowledge overcomes our stereotypes.

So where were we? Oh yeah. Problems -> Stereotypes -> Alters belief and action -> Slightly/moderately/highly changes who we are. Of course, this is only just an example. There are many other different ways "problems" can change our personality.

To keep things short and meaningful, I would just like to say be careful and be smart on how you handle your problems. Bear in mind that some problems could not be solved with your own power alone and that some problems can only be solved due time. We should not let problems degrade our qualities as a respectful human being we ought to be.

The reason I am writing this post is basically to portray a bit of my problems without actually telling what the problem actually is. I am not the type of person who likes to share my problems with other people, and most of the time even if I accidentally or intentionally shared the story of my problems to others, I usually end up regretting it. Some times, problems should be kept to ourselves, and how to handle such problems is entirely up to you (sometimes.. but most of the time in my case I guess).

How do you perceive your own character? There are times when I noticed my character is a bit messed up seeing how my likes and dislikes can clash with one another depending on the situation. I have loads of negative views and perceptions that I have in mind but what I usually let out for people to see are only the nice ones. Usually I curse a lot, I curse so much that people around me sometimes feel uncomfortable due to the negative energy I bring out (I made this assumption when I notice how people's facial expression started to slowly change, and most of the time when this happens I quickly decided to shut my mouth seeing how negative it is being). Well, I guess that is most probably my fault for hanging out with the wrong peers in school. Luckily I managed to restrain myself and then slowly change myself from being that kind of person.

I find it truly hard to define myself as I believe in a few principles that I have set up in my mind but I find it difficult to physically apply such principles.

I noticed that previously I usually had this problem on how to clearly define myself properly most of the time I find my personality contradicting.

However, that is no longer the case. Spending most of my time away from UIA, I managed to do what I love most which is by having my own free space of spending my own sweet time internally speaking intrapersonally with my own self. By having time to do so, I have noticed some things about me that never actually changed for a very long time...

I am easily inspired... But it is hard for me to stay inspired for a very long time due to the fact that I usually find out something that I am disappointed with sooner or later towards that specific thing/person that I am inspired with...

I have my own beliefs and understandings on general matters but I don't usually express it to people unless necessary.

I don't like communicating with new people as I do not like my character to be judged. People usually judge a person and adapt to that person by their understanding of others character from their first confrontation with one another. In other words, this is also known as our first impression. Most of the time, people firstly try to have some conversations with the new person. Once they have gathered the necessary information of that person, later they will reorganize that information and analyze it for future reference. What people usually do first is to decide whether or not should they befriend with such person on the first place. If so, they will decide to ignore future confrontation or add more confrontation with that specific person according to the decision made.

People often think that by frequently meeting with the person over and over again, they might slowly and surely start to learn more about the person itself and then from there they can adapt themselves better to communicate with that person. But people should bear in mind that no matter how many times you meet that person over and over again, if that person itself decides to put up a fake front and conceal their true self each and every time they confront with one another, they can never truly learn more about the person they are talking to.

One more significant thing that I learned about myself is that I am not that mysterious nor am I that difficult to be understood. Its just that I refuse to let people into my life for reasons I have yet to discover. I don't like being misjudged but then again I purposely put up a fake front each and every time a confrontation is made. I guess this is just a bad habit of mine that I haven't yet changed and I myself am confused whether or not this habit of mine should be changed in the first place.

I admit that I am an antisocial type of person, but I can easily have a conversation with people if I want to. But the problem is, I don't want to. I only have conversations with people and build friendship in situations that seems necessary.

Other than that, the people I have approached so far are only people that I am personally interested with and most of them are kind and interesting people that I am interested to make friends with. I noticed this I am very greedy in terms of choosing who I befriend with. But so far, I cant complain since I like each and everyone who is in my circle of friends.

Today I have learned more about myself. I am not so "self-contradicting" and "difficult" as I previously and frequently say I am. I am only "self-contradicting" because I purposely wear a mask when I confront people whom I am not comfortable with. But I have noticed that this mask can easily be shaken if I am confronted with people who appear to be kind in my point of view. I have this thing about me and I guess I simply like to have conversations with those who are kind. Also, I am only "difficult" because I choose to be that way. When I move away the haze and clouds that disturbs my view, who I am and what I am is actually very clear in front of me. No more confusion, no more contradiction, no more difficulties. I am actually quite a simple person hohoho~

Inspiration.

I am the type of person who is easily inspired by people around me and most of the time these people doesn't even notice how inspiring they actually are. Be it in physical aspects or in other areas that involves creativity and the power of language and writing, I am easily inspired by all.

Most of the time, these people I am inspired with have their very own sets of belief and criteria that they have set in mind. Rather than what they have accomplished and what they are capable of accomplishing, the way of thinking they have in their mind is what makes them incredibly amazing to begin with.

Parkour/Tricking/Freerunning for example... Some simply look at them like idiots who never considered the risk and consequences you get when you fall. But this perception is far from true. These people have beliefs set in their mind that will set you people on awe. By entering their way of thinking and perception they have in life, you will notice how ridiculously amazing their perceptions actually are. This perception of theirs are most of the time ILLOGICAL to have in mind with out rational thinking alone.... but TRUE. It is true that no matter how many times we train ourselves to jump from a 2nd storey building, it does not make the jump any shorter. It is true that training gives us strength. But if we are really simply talking about strength alone, wouldn't that mean each and every highly active basketball players can do what we do and do it better in the first place? Technique? So do you guys really believe that technique is ALL there is to it? Does that mean by learning the technique alone, these basketball players can easily jump from the 2nd storey building like tracheurs do?

Technique is the key to unlock the door.

Strength is required to twist the door knob.

But both of these are not the ones required to push the door open.

The thing that we need to have in order to push the door open, is self confidence.

What mostly changes overtime through practice is not our strength or technique, but mostly our self confidence. Why am I talking about this? Because I notice that some amazing athletes in the world of freerunning are soooo CRAZY to an extent that their self-confidence are absurdly illogical to be applied to normal people.. But this set of thinking is absolutely true when we actually spend some time to think about it.

Of course no matter how much we train ourselves, the jump that we are going to do from the 2nd storey building will not be any shorter. What changes are simply our self confidence. No matter how strong we really are and no matter how much technique we have mastered in our mind... By the time we are doing it, if we do not have any self confidence, shit happens. That is why most tracheurs encounter injury most of the time. May it be a difficult move or a simple move, most of the time the most serious injury inflicted to tracheurs are from SIMPLE MOVES. It is almost stupid if we actually spend our time to think about it. Just because we lack self confidence, we did not make that extra jump, we did not keep our proper form, and thus we fail and land miserably on the ground. This would all end very differently and beautifully if we simply had self confidence to begin with.

Also there are other types of people whom I am easily inspired with. Most of the time I am easily inspired by those who can easily express themselves. I am inspired by those who can express themselves by easily typing sooooooooooo loooooooooong but yet their way of writing managed to catch and keep the interest of the readers all the way to then end. I am inspired by those who can easily express themselves and make themselves look stupid in front of the camera but in an entertaining way rather than "irritating". They know the lines between being too excessive in showing expressions and being too dull in not showing enough expressions.

Most of the time, I am usually inspired by those who hold close to a certain principle that sounds soooo incredible to an extent that holding to that principle alone shows how amazing that person actually is.

Okay, I guess that is enough for now. Let me just share to you guys what I have done so far during this holiday.

-Joined Sejuta Impian and managed to get rm20k

-Joined Axn Big Challenge Kuala Lumpur and got into the top 10.

-Joined Sasuke Malaysia

-Made a new video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRIi3TxqAsM&feature=youtu.be

Until next time. :)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

A Dream To Kill A Satan

2011-06-09T17:22:00.000-07:00

I had a dream just now, around 1 hour ago to be more specific... As you know, dream is one of the most unique thing to describe about. Dream can come to you as an inspiration, as a traumatizing experience, as a flashback, as an entertainment, as a story, as a message, and most of the time it doesn't even make sense. I decided to blog about this dream of mine because it felt real... And it so happens that I don't know what else to do to kill time until 10 a.m as I wait for Siddiq to fetch me up for wall climbing (currently 8.30 am).

In this dream of mine, I was on a mission to prevent the reincarnation of a satan by preventing a guy from completing the ritual (stabbing himself). The dream was quite long, so I'll just skip to the ending and spare you the details for example me being trapped in a hall with a possessed demonic woman, I somehow became managed to become invisible to hide from her and quickly sneak myself up to kill the guy who was going to turn into a satan, and as I was doing so the possessed demonic woman was smelling all around the hall to trace me (quite pointless really, at one point she was standing right in front of me sniffing the invisible me but still didn't find out I was actually there).

Okay! So lets move on to the disturbing part of the dream. Afterwards I quickly went out of the hall, I noticed the guy I was supposed to prevent from stabbing himself to complete the ritual to demonized himself (is there such a word as satanized himself?). I quickly sneaked up to him but it turned out I reached him a bit too late when he was already stabbing himself. Being engulfed with fear that he will enter a state of metamorphosis or some sort, I quickly pushed him down, used my sword/knife/machete (not sure) and quickly tried to kill him by literally cutting him into half horizontally as he was screaming in pain. Mind you that it all felt so real and at that time it felt like the most righteous thing to do. At the very last minute, he turned to me with a very evil smile on his face as his facial figure started to change from one person to another (at this stage I already knew I was too late and the end was near). Each time he lets out his small demonic laughter, my effort to cut him into half slowed down and finally I stopped. It was the kind of feeling when you are standing in front of a satan knowing that apocalypse is near.

Then I woke up, and this is what I had in mind... Judgment day, I hope it is still far away.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

A Curse That Befalls An Angel

2011-06-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was once a beautiful angel that lives in the heavens. Angels are well known for their beauty as well as their persistent behavior of not taking any interest in the worldly treasures. Thus such thing as greed, hunger and lust is something an angel would not posses. This one particular angel however is uniquely different from all the others. Not only is this angel unique because the angel is far more beautiful than all the other angels combined, the angel is also unique because of the human characteristics she posses. However, it is also because of this “human characteristics” she has that made her so different from all the others to an extent that the angels no longer hang around with her, or to be more exact, this angel no longer hang around with others as she wanders around alone too much satisfying her own desires.

This angel wanders around our world, seeking for delicious foods from each and every corner she can find. Some might say that her superior beauty came with the curse of having the human characteristics she posses. An angel is of course invisible before the human eyes, therefore it is simply too easy for the angel to go flying wherever she pleases and takes whatever she desires. Is it stealing? Well of course, that’s why some call her human characteristics a curse.

Then comes a day when this angel becomes amazingly fat due to the fact that she ate too much. But still her wings carry her from one location to another searching for food that she could not resist. One day, her wings just snapped as they could no longer support the weight of her body. Without her wings, she simply became a regular human being that now has to walk with her own two feet on world we are living in. Unfortunately, it goes more beyond that. Unto this day, the angels in the heavens still described this event as the worst curse ever befall unto an angel with natural gifts that supersedes others and the reason such curse exist is because of the human characteristics instilled in the angels personality. With her wings gone, she was inflicted with a curse with several effects….

One… She is left with all the desires and characteristics of a human…

Two… Although her body can now be seen by ordinary humans, her beauty is not under the comprehension of normal human beings thus her superior beauty could not be properly understood and appreciated by ordinary humans…

Three… She is cursed with a body that will no longer go fat no matter how much she eats, this curse is to represent the unending desire she previously had when this curse befall unto her…

With these cursed attributes she now has, she is forced to live on the face of this earth. She finally came across a man that somehow had an exceptional perception that allows him to see how beautiful she truly is. She spent the rest of her life with that particular man as she daily fed herself with human foods to survive…

From the perception of angels in the heavens, this curse is indeed overwhelmingly sad, cruel, and unfortunate. Because of this incident, there has not been a single angel who dares set even one foot on the face of the earth any longer. It is indeed a tragic ending for an angel that carries too much gifts, as well as the curse that came along with it…

….

However, this is simply the perception of those angels in the heavens. What about the perception of the angel that encountered this curse?

Well, from her point of view, it is not a curse at all. Instead, it was a blessing. Not only is she now able to openly enjoy the worldly pleasures that other angels could only dream of, she is now blessed with the best gifts that the human world could possibly offer… That is the ability of loving the one she loves like crazy and being loved back just as much… She now has a person that she can share her feelings with, share her joy with, and share her entire life with… A person that finally understood and appreciate her for who she really is and what she actually is deep inside… The only curse she believed to encounter being a human is most probably love itself, as it is something so addictive that she can no longer live without… The event is indeed a blessing from her point of view… Plus, she can no longer go fat no matter how much she eats. What more can you ask for?

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

I Have A Stalker + Random Posts

2011-05-25T01:15:00.000-07:00

I HAVE A STALKER

I've been noticing this for awhile since a friend of mine Naqib Ahmad told me about it. I was walking in UIA in search of a lecturer when I bumped into him. I don't remember much regarding to what we spoke about but I do remember the conversation we had when he asked me "Ammar, do you have another facebook profile?". I was trying to critically think before answering such a question because I remembered creating a number of fake facebook accounts for gaming purposes (lame, I know...), but then again, none of them are filled with account information or pictures that can be related to me since it is pointless to add any to the temporary fake accounts. So then I said nope. Naqib told me that he found a fake facebook profile by the name of "Ammar Jacob" with my profile picture along with other pictures in the picture album. At first I thought maybe it was a mistake so when I went back to my dorm, I tried to search for it and voila! It actually exists.

The facebook account was set on private so I could not actually see any details about him. If this kind of stuff happen to you, how would you react? In facebook, I noticed some of the girls in UIA actually encountered this problem as well. How did they react to it? One thing for sure, they reacted to it more aggressively then I ever will.

The Girls Reaction:

1. The first thing they do is they spread the information to their friends.

2. Then all of them will post the fake profile link on their wall telling everyone to be cautious of the profile seeing how it is actually fake.

3. They directly contact the account and ask the person to stop doing it. ( I don't know if they insert curse words and threats in the process or not)

So you see, girls from UIA are certainly not the kind of girls you want to mess with. However in my case, I reacted to the situation differently seeing that it is a bit different compared to their cases. You see, at first I tried to investigate a bit about the profile to know the actual motive why that fake profile is created. So I noticed that the name of the profile is "Ammar Jacob", and all of the personal informations are made up to an extent that it has got nothing to do with me. So I thought to myself, "Well, if such a profile does not intend to harm me in any way, then I guess no harm is done".

I don't mind if a person would take away my pictures and do a fake profile or anything. I won't even mind if I have a shy stalker who would go so far as making a fake profile of me (Wow, wouldn't that be awesome? To be admired to such an extent, I must be doing something right then lol), as long as no harmful intention is included of course. So some of my friends actually tried adding the fake profile, and guess what? It seems that the friend request was accepted. That simply means the profile is STILL being used even now. Just days ago, the profile had updated the profile picture by changing another profile picture of me as well. I find this to be AMAZING.. You know why? Because the pictures in his album are actually pictures of me that you can't find on MY facebook or myspace anymore. Why? Because I deleted them almost 2 years ago. So, what does that mean? It means, whoever the person is, he or she had already copied and saved my pictures all the way from 2 YEARS back. Now there are TWO different possibilities:

1. The account was made from 2 YEARS back, and even until NOW the person still UPDATES the profile on facebook and ACCEPTS friend requests.

2. The account was RECENTLY made. But that also means, the person had already SAVED my pictures for TWO LONG YEARS before actually using the

m for the fake account.

Either way, it is still amazing. What is the reason behind the existence of this facebook account? It could be a stalker, but then again I don't think I am the kind of person worth stalking. So the best reasoning I had made so far is that the person is only using my pictures for his personal agenda. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the way he edit the account actually makes me look like a gay. So in other words, I think the person is actually a gay, and he simply creates a fake facebook profile, but he is too shy to use his own picture, thus he randomly stole my pictures, and then make them his, and then continued pretending to be me to find another gay associates on facebook. Well, that is simply a "maybe" because I seriously don't think I am worth stalking.

I don't care what people do with my pictures, as long as they don't associate that picture directly to me by using my full name and where I study and such. Then that would be blasphemy and false accusations are being made against me. Seeing that no harm is being done by the fake account, I see no reason for me to trouble him/her. Plus, he/she actually went through all the trouble of making a fake account, the least I could do is let him/her be. So I just hope that he/she can enjoy him/herself in anyway possible. I guess that is all I would like to say about this. For those who encounter the same thing, I will only try to advice you this....DON'T ANGER the one who does the fake account of yours directly. This kind of people won't reply to your demand or anger kindly. The least they are capable of is actually causing more trouble. And who knows what they are capable of in real life, you don't know them in real life, but they do know who you are. By threatening this person and cursing him/her directly and such, you are actually putting yourself in danger. I don't think this is far-stretched seeing how dangerous stalkers actually are overseas. I guess thats it!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001680712949

Recently he changed the profile picture to my shirtless picture which I have deleted since I entered UIA which was (2 years ago). I don't like it.

RANDOM POSTS

I decided to browse through my blog to see all my previous posts in an attempt to find out how my writings had improved itself during these past few years. Amazingly.... I find that I haven't improved at all. In fact, I think my style of writing has actually downgraded itself compared to my previous style of writing. A clear difference would certainly be in my attitude towards writing itself. Previously when I was getting ready to write about something, I usually express my views and opinion in a very detailed manner as I perceive that even the minutest details are important. I write in a way as if I am telling my story to a person who is actually wholeheartedly wanting to hear to them with open ears and glittering eyes asking for more. But lately I guess the way I write is something like this "Uhh, guys.. You know.. Lately, this is what I have in mind... So... Uhh.. I just thought about sharing them, so, uhh.... I guess thats it... Laters I guess...". I guess what I am trying to say is, my passion towards writing is gradually decreasing by the day. Previously if I have something I want to write about I would go like "Ahh, I think I'll write about that one tonight. Yes, definitely tonite..". Now if I have something I want to write about I will go like "Ahh, that is certainly worth writing about...Uhh.. Should I? Uhh... I think so... Umm... Nah~".

I recently played a facebook game application called "Zombie Lane". I became the top player for the game. The game includes scores for each time you kill zombies. So my name was basically on top of the chart, globally among millions of other players. But recently I blocked the application seeing that the update for the game is ridiculously slow, playing everyday just to defend my position was rather pointless. Its amazing how many hundreds of people would randomly add you just because your the top of the game, my friend requests maxed out within just 2 day which is (1000 friend requests). My mother told me to add her on fb (NOOOO WAAAYY~) because when she tried to add me, this came out "Ammar Haidhar have too many friends". Lol. People are still adding me daily, so it is simply a waste of my time to ignore the invites seeing how hundreds more will come in daily. Soooo, I'm sorry to say this (not really), but I won't randomly accept anymore people on fb. Currently I have almost 300 messages from random people asking me to accept their friend request. Also, the reason I block the game is because I find that the game is consuming TOO MUCH of my time and also the most IRRITATING part of everything is that my freakin wall is COMPLETELY SPAMMED with the game's notification which is utterly nonsense if you ask me. Everyday I log into my profile and then I see random people posting on my wall "Hey ammar! I just helped with your yard" etc etc. Enough is enough.

Recently we entered Sasuke Malaysia to represent Parkour Malaysia. I am VERY VERY EXCITED to inform you guys the details BUT, the information regarding the competition is confidential due to the fact that it not aired yet on the national television. One thing for sure is that it is awesome and it is indeed one of the greatest feat achieved by the parkour community so far. What do I mean? That's a secret meheheh... (Secret? Not really. I am pretty sure you can find out what happen if you actually google around a bit. As a participant though, I don't have the privilege to offer you the details) :D

ALSO! We initiated the Freerun Challenge on the exact same day it self!! I forgot to mention that the Freerun Challenge and Sasuke Malaysia was held during Hari Belia in Putrajaya. The Freerun Challenge was a complete success!! The location was most of the time, surrounded by spectators as well as tv reporters and individual photographers. Indeed, this year is an awesome year for our Parkour Community! I can list down all the accomplishments we got so far JUST FOR THIS YEAR itself such as Sejuta Impian and Sasuke Malaysia but I don't think I want to write about those stuff in my blog.

As for my exercise, I think I will involve myself with basketball, wallclimbing, and kakigym from now on. I find that the upperbody strength alone is not enough to overcome obstacles, I need stamina as well, and mind you my stamina sucks BIG TIME!

I no longer enjoy blogging as much as I used to, so I assume I won't be blogging frequently in the future. Until next time.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Sasuke Malaysia

2011-05-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since the last time I wrote about anything. Lately if there are something that I want to express, I simply randomly express them shortly via facebook updates. Therefore, this blog is abandoned.

Recently I decided to join "Sasuke Malaysia".... Wait.... What? You guys don't know what the hell Sasuke Malayisa is? OMG..... Can't blame you, they lack advertisement. Click THIS to enter their website.

Have you guys watched Ninja Warrior? No? If you guys haven't watch it, then I advise you guys to search for it on YouTube.

Ninja Warrior is basically a Japanese Gameshow which includes MONSTROUS obstacles that CHALLENGES the limitation of your human body in many different areas including agility, precision, strength and balance.

The game has been ongoing for many years but so far there has only been few winners and they are referred to as living legends. That alone should show how challenging this game really is. What? Still not convinced? Well, this game is very well known to an extent that it spreads WORLDWIDE!! For example, Ninja Warrior can be found in US as well. The US has been repeatedly sending winners from their region to compete for the challenge in Japan to represent their country.... So far, none has returned...... as a winner lol.

The only winners so far are the JAPANESE themselves! That's not the most "wtf" facts, the most "wtf" facts is that these Japanese backgrounds are surprisingly common and none of them reflect the capabilities that they possess! For example, some of the winners are a fisherman, fireman, and a shoeseller..... That's right, a SHOE SELLER! Guys from the US who claims to be a PROFESSIONAL in Freerunning/Parkour FAILS to overcome the Ninja Warrior's challenge in Japan, but a shoe seller in Japan succeeds.... Thats it, I conclude that the Japanese citizens are all Ninjas in disguise.

SO! What is Sasuke Malaysia!? Sasuke Malaysia is derived from Ninja Warrior itself. In other words, Sasuke Malaysia is Ninja Warrior in Malaysian version.

How cool is that? Without a doubt, I am joining the competition! Oh yeah, the winner is going to represent Malaysia to compete in Japan. And Oh yeah, the competition starts this Friday and Saturday in Putrajaya on the 27th and 28th of May 2011.

The rule is simple, you have to overcome all the extreme obstacles within the limited time. If you fall and get contact with water, you lose. Once you passed all the obstacles, you need to press the buzzer.

For Malaysia, there will be 100 participants altogether. Only 10 will advance to the final stage. Only 1 will be the winner. Only one will be given the title "JAGUH PERTAMA MALAYSIA".

The funny part of everything is that we are encouraged to wear something that represents our occupation or what we do in the beginning of the show for example aprons. working attire and etc. We also need to do something to represent our occupation or what we do for example showing a frying pan, do a backflip, etc. In other words, it is going to be funny.

The host for the show is going to be Jehan Miskin, Reem Shahwa, and Mayumi Kasuga.

I've been preparing a loser's speech just in case if I were to fall MISERABLY INTO THE WATER DURING THE FIRST STAGE....

So here is one of them:

"The weather is so hot today, so I decided to go for a swim".

Something like that I guess.

This one if for the winner's speech (that will never happen since I am not confident with the obstacles, let alone winning it):

"First of all I would like to say I have the most beautiful wonderful girlfriend in the whole wide world. Her name is Arinah Rozhan and I intend to marry her in the near future. Sorry, I already reserved her for myself, find someone else to flirt guys. About winning this competition, meh, too eassyyyyy, hohohohohoho~!"

Something like that I guess.

Here are some of the videos that you guys can take a look at to know what Sasuke Malaysia/Ninja Warrior is all about.

http://www.g4tv.com/videos/45409/Ninja-Warrior-All-Star-Profile-Yuugi-Urushihara/

Here is my application video for the competition

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_ljarIpNwE&feature=player_detailpage

Here are all the other applicant's videos for the competition.

http://sasukemalaysia.com/videos2.html

Join Sasuke Malaysia on Facebook to know more. (However, by the time you guys read this, the competition will most likely be over)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Nyan Cat

2011-04-27T02:42:00.000-07:00

NyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyan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NyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyanNyan

To those in darkness seeking for light

2011-04-07T01:46:00.000-07:00

It takes a certain amount of evil people to convince you that the world is full of hypocrites, darkness, dangers and such... But it only requires a single person, a hero perhaps, to make you realize how beautiful the world you are living in is actually worth protecting. No matter how much your life has been corrupted before, being surrounded by kindness and innocence, you can start anew.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Passion

2011-03-29T02:02:00.001-07:00

It has been awhile since the last time I acquired an inspiration to write about "something" (which explains why my posts are mostly crap since I force myself to write about anything that comes across my mind)...... Throughout my entire experience of meeting and socializing myself with new people I recently meet since I entered matriculation UIA in nilai, I learned something very valuable I myself refuse to accept previously. What is it am I referring to you ask? Well, I'll give you a friendly hint. The word is passion.

Previously, I usually make fun of people as I go. Let me share with you guys my perception of view towards certain things that we usually encounter in Malaysia. For example.

What do I see when I see dudes playing bowling? I'll tell you what I see, what I see is basically dudes who tend to exaggerate their "focus" and "seriousness" when they are playing the game. Have you ever encountered dudes who play bowling with their serious facial expression attached 24/7? This is not limited to dudes, in fact, this goes towards both male and female of all ages. Let me further describe to you about this kind of people in an attempt to help you understand what kind of people I am specifically referring to. These people usually bring their own bowling balls, bowling shoes, and even their bowling gloves to the bowling alley. Some come and play in groups and occasionally comes wearing the same uniform, some others even come and play alone. So??? What's wrong with it you ask?? Well, what irritates me is that these kind of people takes the game too seriously to an extent that there is no sign of happiness nor excitement generated by them when they play the game itself. Frequently I see these people play bowling too damn seriously!! They score a strike, they turn around and walks away like nothing happened. When WE score a strike, we turn around and we scream or provoke our friends like crazy! That is how we have fun! This people on the other hand, they bowl, they turn around and claps each other's hand with their serious facial expression and then waits for their next turn. When they get a strike or a miss, they pressure themselves like crazy. This is very sad to look at especially when they come all the way to the bowling alley to play alone. A total waste of money.

That is one of my perception of view towards stuff that we usually see in Malaysia. Second!!! What do I see when I see dudes playing football? What I see is basically dudes chasing a ball all over the field like babies chasing a butterfly. They kick the ball into the goal, and then they rejoice. When they lose or even encounter some minor foul or foul play, they fight and quarrel with one another. Those are football players, what about the spectators? Now, the real shits happen it the spectators seat, not in the football field. Spectators provoke one another like crazy and fight each other like crazy by observing the performance of those who actually plays football down there on the field as reference. Winning = Provoke | Losing = Accumulate anger. Previously, I saw these people as simple idiots who have nothing to do. I relate this people with old people who usually talks and complain about politics like crazy but towards the end are capable of doing nothing to change anything about it.

These negative perceptions I have are endless. Basically, this view of mine basically under-grades the passions of other people.

But ladies and gentlemen, one of the most important thing that I had learn in life is basically to not undermine and criticize the passion of others no matter how stupid and pointless it may appear to you. You might think that collecting stamps and coins are simply a waste of time and energy, but to others it might be their main purpose of living their lives on earth. We never know.

You see, each of us have our own passion and each of us easily gets irritated when our passion is being undermine by others, especially others who are not qualified to. I myself encounter this feeling when I see idiots out there questioning my reason of doing what I am doing which is basically parkour.

"Why are you doing this? Are you not afraid?"

"What if you fall?"

"Don't invite trouble to your parents"

"Stop doing this before its too late, once accident occurs, you can never turn back"

Shits like this, I hate the most.

You see, each and every one of us have our own stand in protecting our passion. Without passion, fabulous + marvelous + fantastic + amazing + spectacular + etc things in life would not have come into existence like we see around us today.

Let me show you how STUPID it actually is to undermine the passion of others.

Painters/Artist = What a waste of time, just take a picture idiot.

Photographers = Why waste so much time on taking a picture of something we can simply see in front of our eyes? What a waste of money on expensive cameras.

Golf = Why waste so much money on hitting a ball?

Basketball = Why waste so much energy on dunking a ball in a ring?

Why this? Why that? Why bla bla bla bla..... Stop with this pessimistic + narrowed view in life. We never experience, we never know. If one does not know anything, one should simply shut their mouth. Respect others in a way that you want to be respected.

Previously I have this negative perspective in life, but now everything has changed. I tried putting my self in other people's shoes. I tried playing football, I tried being a spectator.... Guess what? It is highly exciting and fun. When you play football, the sensation you get when you score a goal is highly satisfying. It almost feels like you managed to take a poop after holding it in for an entire month, lol. As far as being a spectator is concerned, like I said folks, the real shits happen in the the spectators' seat, not in the field. The intense sensation you feel when you observe feels 2x better compared to actually playing the sport itself. Plus, it is better since all you do is basically sit and relax aside from complaining in the process, lol.

(As far as bowling is concerned, I have tried playing it but I still don't get why people have to be a party pooper by being overly damn serious about it)

Passion is a powerful tool in a life, passion alone is capable of giving meaning and utmost dedication to a person's life. Respect is the pick lock, understanding is the key.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Hana Tajima

2011-03-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrFU3tMMOHM

So, I was browsing through facebook like I usually do each time I have access to the internet... Then I suddenly came across a very simple status update posted by a friend of mine... The status update is "Hana Tajima"... That's it.

Hana Tajima? What is "it"? Who is "it"? So I decided to randomly pause for awhile and think to myself... What could this name possibly mean? At first I thought that it could it be a new name for a new pornstar my friend was currently addicted to. But then again I thought to myself that it would be terribly dumb for a person to publicly state that kind of personal interest in facebook. Hmm....

Suddenly, a random friend of mine standing beside me saw the status update as well and asked the same question. More specifically, the question goes like this:-

In English - "Hana Tajima? Who the hell is this chick!? Many of my friends are currently idolizing her like crazy, but I myself have no idea how she looks like and who she actually is"

In Malay Baku "Hana Tajima? Siapakah gadis tersebut? Terdapat ramai sahabat saya yang menyebut-nyebut nama beliau berulang kali. Tetapi siapakah gerangannye beliau aku tidak ketahui"

In Malay Pasar - "Hana Tajima? Sape sial minah nie!? Sume member aku tetiba batak lak ngn minah nie. Sape minah aku pun x taw"

In Malay Gedik Version - "Hana Tajima? Sapewww diyew nieee? Semuwee kwn kitew sukew diyew tetibew. Sapew diyew pun kitew x taw, tehee~!

It turns out that she is a chick that promotes how to properly wear tudung in style. Seeing that she is practically attractive in the eyes of normal people, she is currently being idolized like crazy. I don't see why only now people are noticing how beautiful girls actually are when they are covering their "aurat". They only find it beautiful when a person they perceive as beautiful are wearing 'em. Tsk tsk~ I on the other hand find girls more attractive when they cover themselves instead of revealing themselves, true story.

The reason being why I post about Hana Tajima is not because to explain who she is. The reason I wanted to blog about her is because I decided to google for her to know who she actually is and why everyone seems to know her.

THEN! I noticed a picture of her. The caption of the picture:-

In English - "Whoever who does not know who Hana Tajima is, that is UTTERLY PREPOSTEROUS!!!"

In Malay Baku - "Sesungguhnya siapa yang tidak mengenali Hana Tajima, sesungguhnya itu SANGAT MELAMPAU!!!!"

In Malay Pasar - "Sape x kenal Hana Tajima mmg MELAMPAU!!!"

In Malay Gedik - "Sapew x kenal Hana Tajima mmg MELAMPAWW GILEWW BABEWWW TAHAP NK KENEW GEGET JEWWW~!! ISK!! ISK!!!"

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.........Sorrrrryyy!!!!! I am so outdated that I do not know who she is previously in my entire life!! Oh nooo~ How could I ever be forgiven for my utterly preposterous behavior!!

Tsk tsk, there should be a limitation to how much a person should idolize another. By idolizing others and expecting everyone to know everything about them as if the information about them is basic knowledge, now that is preposterous.

By the way, it is nice to see another chick supporting beauty through covering their aurah. I am sick and tired of seeing youngsters nowadays speaking in Melayu Gedik version and revealing themselves as well as acting in a cheap + bitchy way with other male dudes who simply and ultimately wants to get into their pants.

Oh yeah, you can see 3 pictures and a video Hana Tajima in this post to learn a bit about her yourself. Do browse for her to learn more.

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*Personally addition on my view towards her

I find it weird but there seems to be a major difference of beauty between two different facial expression that she shows. Which is the neutral face, and the face with her smile. Lets just say that when she smiles and when she doesn't, its almost like two different person.

Smiling - 20% attractive

Not Smiling like the pictures above - 80% attractive

Of course this is simply my point of view.

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There are haters out there stating that she would be the downfall for female muslims out there. But seriously, in what way does that apply? As long as the aurah is preserved and no sexual arousal can be be obviously detected from the dressing style then by all means, it should be fine.

At least from her effort, girls can at least throw their negative perception on how wearing scarf on their head is not attractive (school kids usually throw away their head scarf nowadays). By increasing the rate of other peoples' desire to wear the headscarf, at least that is the very first step of improving their self in covering their aurah.

Seriously, the reason why some women find it hard to return to the path of Islam is not because that they do not want to, but its because they find it hard to start covering themselves with the headscarf everyday seeing that they are already used to not wearing em in the first place.

Some people are too damn pessimistic and narrow-minded to an extent that all they see in front of their eyes are the areas of negativity. Stop being a couch-potato who simply sits behind and complains a lot while doing nothing to improve anything. I'm not saying that you should do something to change anything, I am simply asking you to shut up instead. :D

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Unfortunate Incident

2011-03-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

Many things occurred to me lately and most of them are definitely worth blogging about.

But for some weird reason, I dislike the idea of blogging about them. For example, I encountered an experience involving 15 dudes carrying all kind of sharp objects killing everyone they see in their line of sight randomly without knowing who the people they are actually killing in a store located just beside the store I was in. More specifically, the killing was done on the 2nd and 3rd floor, I was on the ground floor. Many innocent victims jumped out of the window in fear to run away, 2 unfortunate male victims fell terribly towards the ground below resulting in fatal injuries to both individuals mentioned. Soon after the rampage, forensics and ambulance came to the scene. However I personally believed that there is nothing much the ambulance can do seeing how terrible the condition of the victims were in. I then learned the rest of the details from the dude who was working at the 7-eleven located exactly down below the crime scene on the ground floor. It was my first time seeing a 7-eleven closed with chains and lock on the door (I did not realize that a killing rampage was occurring just upstairs).

It turns out that the incident occurred because not long ago, a cyber cafe there was practically robbed by a number of dudes. These number of dudes were identified and recognized by other dudes who were playing snooker at the store located just beside the cyber cafe itself. I forgot from where the robbers came, but from what I remembered, it is quite far. These other dudes decided that they do not want to report to the police, so they came all the way to the place where the robbers hang out and beat the crap out of them. Soon after, these beaten up robbers retaliated by coming to the store once again bringing 15 armed backups to kill everyone in the store itself.

I guess thats about it. I can further explain the situation by describing the blood splatters that can be seen as well as the condition of the dying victims, but I find it discomforting for me to blog about. Therefore, the story ends here.

The moral of the story, even though you yourself believe that you won't do anything bad in bad places such as a club/snooker/whatever other places.... Do keep in mind that you are hanging out in a place where other bad-ass people are hanging out in and whatever evil things that they did or plan to do, might affect you as well. This is reality.

Oh yeah, the crime scene occurred at taman melati located very near to UIA Gombak. I guess thats about it.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

The world is our playground (assignment)

2011-02-04T16:48:00.000-08:00

The world is our playground

There was once a time during our early childhood when we view our surroundings as a huge unexplored playground and everything that exists within it simply acts as a tool that can be played around with. That interesting perception however slowly fades away as we grow older, but not in the case of a unique 26 year old individual I found who is called by the name Amir Hamzah. Amir may appear just like an ordinary easy-going male student from the college ASWARA as he lives his daily life enjoying the company of others around him with the same interest as him in music and photography. However, deep within his visible character actually presents an exceptional talent that enables him to do amazing things others could only do in their dreams. This talent among all of his other talents lies in the respectively young field to be found in Malaysia which is called “Parkour” and “Freerunning”.

“I am a musician, photographer, free-runner, and a stuntman. I do a little bit of everything. As far as parkour and freerunning is concerned, the world is our playground. We make creative use of anything around us, be it even tables and chairs” he said.

Parkour is an art of movement with the goal to move from one point to another as quickly and efficiently as possible. This discipline which is sometimes seen as a philosophy was created in France, in Sarcelles, Lisses and Evry by David Belle, Sebastian Foucan, and the founding members of a group of parkour practitioners called Yamakasi.

The term freerunning is sometimes used interchangeably with parkour. While parkour aims to enable the practitioner to be able to move quickly and efficiently past obstacles, freerunning has a greater emphasis on self-expression within the environment which may include acrobatic movements such as aerial rotations and spins. This part of freerunning is not considered as parkour due to the fact that such movements are merely showy, not efficient, and does not help with the participant to get from place to place.

“I’ve been doing this since 2006. Along these years, I would say that it is fairly interesting how I can easily catch the attention of a crowd and amaze others by simply doing what I do best in parkour and freerunning,” he stated.

By applying parkour and freerunning, Amir can easily overcome obstacles which appear impossible in the eyes of average human beings. Such ability allows him to easily jump off and safely land from a one storey building without any scratch left on the body. Seeing how insanely dangerous the stunts he acted actually made me held my breath a few times in fear of what might actually go wrong each time he does so. In fact, Amir understood how I felt as he replied “Many others felt that way too, but that is only because they are not familiar with what they are currently seeing thus it is only natural that their first impression towards this anomaly would be from their negative judgment but that positively changes when they further know what it is actually about.”

Amir is well-respected to be one of the few pioneers of parkour in Malaysia as he also significantly plays the highest role in spreading about parkour all over Malaysia through the coverage of mass media including news papers, magazines, broadcasting news, events, as well as television shows such as The Star, Berita Harian, The 8tv Quickie, Malaysia Hari Ini, Astro, TV3, RTM, NTV7 and quite amazingly many more. The characteristic which made him a very successful pioneer in parkour lies within his sense of humor and personality that allows people to easily have a warm conversation with him. He continues to expand the coverage towards the parkour community he had personally constructed along with his parkour practitioner friends by generating a website for the community itself at “Parkour.my” which currently has around 500 members. He also has his own personal website to help others easily know more about parkour or to directly contact him at “Axidrain.com”. People could also reach him by his Facebook as he also constructed Parkour community group for people to join.

“We had gone through quite an amazing progress in spreading the words about parkour to attract many others to join us by continuously doing events and media coverage to let others know what parkour is all about and filling them with the information on how to actually approach us for training sessions or further questions ” Amir said.

Seeing how amazing the accomplishments that have been achieved by Amir and his parkour community members in doing what they do best, another interesting part to know about would certainly be how this has affected his career and what more could he possibly aim for in the future. He said “Parkour is currently one of the most wanted services to be included in action films and advertisements. Thus I had myself involved as a stuntman in quite a number of advertisements and movies to do parkour, freerunning, and also fighting stunts as well as an addition”. Amir had got himself involve in several Malaysian high budget movies such as Cicakman 2, Jinnoti, Haq, and other high budget advertisements such as for 100 Plus, Marigold, and more.

“There are many other things that can still be achieved and should be improved for the community of parkour in Malaysia such as increasing further awareness towards this art of movement, spreading the positive values of parkour as well as to erase any kind of misinterpretation and bad judgment towards it, instilling more interest in people towards parkour, and many more other goals that can improve this community in any way possible” Amir stated.

When Amir was asked about his prediction regarding to the parkour community’s future, he replied “It is fair to say that our community’s current development has made us reach the international level in terms of parkour and freerunning, however, this is simply the stepping stone of what we are trying to achieve in the near future. I think that it is safe to say that I can see the guiding light in the end of the tunnel that will make this all possible, but I do not want to get ahead of myself and make unnecessary assumptions of what may be. Thus, I guess you will simply need to stay in tune with our further development to know more about what’s next for us and where we are heading”.

Parkour Malaysia, moving ahead.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

How Would I Like To Raise My Kids

2011-01-30T15:44:00.000-08:00

(For those who want to straight away read about stuff that actually talks about the main topic, avoid the red-colored writings)
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It is currently 7.45am, I can't seem to comfort myself enough to go to sleep and this running nose I'm having is really not helping. Spending hours during the sleepless night, I browse around Youtube searching for the current world record for "muscle ups". What is a muscle up you ask? I'm sorry? You didn't ask? Either way since I am kind, I will try to explain it to you.

Muscle up is the advanced form of pull ups, in other words it is simply like an upgraded pull up (I love how I repeat saying the same thing but separates them into two different sentences simply by using different words). In normal pull ups, imagine yourself hanging on a parallel bar, pulling yourself upward until the bar reaches your chest level, that's right. In muscle ups, imagine yourself doing the same thing, but instead, you pull yourself further UP until the bar reaches slightly lower than your waist level (during this position, your arms are stretching straightly downward while holding the bar to support your weight).

Whaaaa? You still don't understand? Pfffftttttt~! I don't blame you. So here's a video that could directly help you understand further.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGxbOFKvszY

This is by far my most favorite muscle up tutorial video. It is very funny! Unable to sleep at night finally gave me some benefits.

I'm sorry? I am typing my way off-topic? No I'm not! Be patient!

So, basically muscle ups is a difficult move. Experts say that they can safely conclude 99.99% of the overall human population can't even do a single muscle up.

Passer byres: Wow, really? That gay movement appear so easy!

Well, actually it is only hard during the first few months. After you have actually developed the right technique and muscles in the specified area, it will be easier.

However, I can only do it an average 10 times in-a-row! Last week I managed to do 16 in-a-row. Its been raining quite heavily lately, I still haven't actually had the chance to beat that personal record of mine.

However, such accomplishment is not embarrassing. Back to the point where I said "I was browsing through Youtube to search for the world record for muscle ups", well, the world record is doing 26 muscle ups in a row! Ahah! Only 10 in difference! Well, not really. That dude does the muscle up continuously like a beast without catching even a single breath in between (not literally of course). I could only go as far as 11 times in a row if I were to do it his way, I can do 16 if I take some time to catch my breath.

A random Passer byer: Idiot, you are going off-topic.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE my friend! Okay, so!!! During the day when I personally set my personal record for muscle ups at 16 time in a row, I drove myself to a nearby park. I walked myself towards a parallel bar and did the 16 muscle up thingy. After I was done with it, I swear to you, it feels like the acid in your shoulders are building up so fast, it became so tight you could no longer move it as you please. Therefore I thought to myself, owh well, I might as well go back seeing that it is not possible to continue with the workout.

As I drove myself back to my house, my shoulders slowly recovered bit by bit until I finally decided to stop by a nearby playground to continue doing the muscle ups. Instead of doing it many times in a row, I aimed to do at least 100 muscle ups before I go back home (With the addition of the 16 muscle ups I did earlier of course).

Sorry if I bore you with so much information on numbers :).

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Okay, in this playground I was standing in, there were children all over the place. There were children playing football on the field; there were children playing with the slides; children playing on top + under + between + all over the playground.

Seeing that there were so many children crowding the place, I had to strictly time myself to do 5 muscle ups within every 3 minutes so that I could finish the workout within 1 hour.

As I was doing the workout, I had to be aware of my surroundings seeing that these little monkeys are dominating the place. I realized that the parallel bar was at first, dominated by a single fat + chubby little girl always hanging around back and forth. I was smiling seeing how these chubby little kid struggles with herself just to go as far as halfway to the finish just to release her grip and goes back to do it again and over again.

However, kids being kids, they like the attention people give them. So this fat chubby little girl became more energetic as she frequently does more and more as she looks toward me for some kind of recognition (be it a smile or a small chuckle of laughter).

Other kids noticed how this fat chubby girl are getting all the attention from me thus they slowly started dominating all over the parallel bar to gain attention as well. Each and everyone of them showed off their unique skill towards me. I have to admit, these little monkeys can perform sick stuff normal grown ups can only wish of doing. I notice around two little girls with quite amazing skills really. They were hanging on the parallel bar using only their legs, enters between the spaces in the parallel bar upside-down, all kind of things lol.

So, each time they do their stuff, they will look towards me and start saying things like "My turn my turn! Its my turn!" as a signal for me to pay attention. Of course, I entertained them :P. So every 3 minutes, I approach them and say stuff like "Sorry, may I borrow this space for 10 seconds?" And then does 5 muscle ups and then quickly walk away to sit by a nearby bench to continue watch them play with themselves.

After around half an hour, I could no longer keep up with my workout schedule as the kids no longer gave me space as each of them were trying to impress me. So I decided, owh well, I might as well just enjoy the occasion and the scenery of the situation.

Remember the fat chubby kid I stated earlier? She continues to try to catch my attention but at the same time feels embarrassed when she repeatedly got left behind by her friends who are obviously faster. Each time she got left behind, she slowly became emotional as she goes to a corner to hide her face. Kids will be kids :D.

So as I finally take off my mind away from the workout and finally try to enjoy my surroundings, I began to notice the innocence in the early life of kids and their perception of their universe in their own personal unique ways.... I noticed how cute these little monkeys are and I appreciate how innocent they are in their own little world... They are always entertained by the smallest things available around them... They always appear cute no matter how stupid their actions actually may be... The type of innocence that I actually miss as this innocence fades away in time.. :)

I notice the kids playing football on the field, running around... Some of them when running actually makes sound with their own mouth as if they were running so fast, they were breaking the sound barrier... Some of them signals their friend to go further upward so that they could pass the ball but in the end accidentally kicks the ball in the opposite direction... Some of them after scoring a goal goes celebrate by running and screaming around while goes sliding through the wet grass as a victory pose... Some other kids deny the fact that the ball actually went through the goal post by saying "the ball didn't went in! the ball didn't went in!" but they know they aren't fooling anyone... Some of the kids are older than every other kids and tend to be the leader of the group, feeling superior and invulnerable in a way but in the end are taking cared like a baby when they went back home...

Kids on the playground... Running around the playground, running through the playground, running under the playground, running all over the playground... Running and running around in the same place countless times but yet they feel very excited each time they do so as if they are actually going on an adventure to an unknown area... Some kids were sharing a tricycle as they cycle around the playground... I noticed a kid asking for her turn to ride the tricycle from her friend, but her friend argued by saying "You said that I could ride the bike 4 times around the playground, this is only my second time circling around it~"... I notice a kid going down the slides for the first time accompanied by her father, she felt as if she was going down lightning fast but in our grown up perspective we know it is slow but yet we entertain them by approving their feeling of excitement...

When I was near the parallel bar, a small kid maybe around 2 years old was riding a tricycle... He was blocking my way from reaching the parallel bar... I decided to approach the kid as I slowly went behind him and then crouched so that I could be at the same level of height as he was on the tricycle.. The kid turned around, shocked, and slowly cycles away while crying... I however noticed that he was shocked and was about to cry so I quickly put on a very innocent face as the kid goes to his sister, cries while pointing at me... (Personally I think that the kid is a spoil brat and he was not cute hmmph).. Seeing how I was paying attention towards the little girls around the playground, they blame the little kid for crying out for no reason instead. Due to the innocence of the little kids, some of them even said "He is still a little kid, little kids don't have brain right?". The statement may seem harsh, but in the perspective of little kids, that is what they believe, and they say such things in the cutest innocent manner. :)

As I spent my time around with these little monkeys, I started to think about my future kids and how will they turn out to be? Will they be cute and lovely? Will they be smart and active? Or will they be naughty at school having relationship with chicks at an early age? (I can't really blame them heheh, but then again I stayed single for a very long time. The kids are not supposed to surpass their father, lol). Will they be unique? Will they depend on me for safety and comfort? Will they call my name when they are bored and lonely? Will they tell me stories about their daily activities? Will they be born with some similar traits as such as me? If so, then what kind of traits will they inherit? How will such thing affect their lifestyle? How do I want to raise my child? Will I be over-protective? Will I be too strict? Will I be too soft on them? Questions that arises and should be answered before a person actually decides to marry the one they love and bear the responsibility of taking care of a new family.

I see dudes quickly making decisions to get married, but that is only because they only consider about the responsibility they are about to bear by taking care of a wife under their care. However, when a child is born, they are not actually that ready. Most guys became ready when the child was actually born, not before the baby was actually planned. Seeing how the corrupted world has shaped itself into becoming how it is today and how youngsters are corrupted by the simplest things around them... I can't help but to worry about the life that they are going to go through... I myself had a hard time going through my early days, and that was when the community was not so corrupted as it is now with shuffles and clubbing dominating the conversation of kids nowadays...

But nevertheless, I still see many people turned out to be great around me... My friends, the people that I know... They all went through some sort of an ordeal in life, and they all seem to turn out fine... I don't remember much of my parents' role in helping me to sort out my problems in school... But that is only because such problems should only be dealt by myself... Parents can only go as far as providing us with guidelines and values in life... We decide how to apply it in life... In other words, how well our parents teach us these guidelines and values will determine how we will turn out to be as adults...

Some parents usually become a failure because they try to mix in with the life of their children when they are already teenagers... Its already too late by then... Teenagers are already going through the process of finding out who they truly are... They are already going through the phase of judging what is actually good and bad, it would already be too late if we were to only begin teaching them about whats good and whats bad by then...

As a parent, we should instill the kids with the guidelines, values, and knowledge since they are little so that they will become teenagers who will use these guidelines, values, and knowledge to decide whats good and whats bad for them when the time has come for them to finally decide what kind of person they should become...

My promise would be, I will try to be the best parent there is to be for my future kids. No matter how hard it may be, no matter how impossible it may seem... I will do my best and let Allah decide the rest..

I think I should stop posting about the philosophy of life and such, it is very Aristotle and Plato of me behaving in such a way.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Great People

2011-01-29T08:46:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I actually posted something worth sharing with others. Time seems to be moving so incredibly fast lately... It feels as if my energy is insufficient if I were to continue living with my current lifestyle... One day fully spent will prove to bring another day fully wasted specially preserved for resting alone... I seem to reach out for too many things in life to an extent that I am not actually improving in any of them. People say negativity makes people appear pathetic, so we need to apply optimism in life *puts on a yellow hat*. However, being too optimistic will also make you look pathetic in the perspective of others as well *takes off the yellow hat*. So how should we approach life to its fullest?

I have met so many great people in UIA, both girls and boys. Each time I laid my eyes on a great individual, I will study the individual intensively in detail through observation and collection of data using different methods available *it is an unconscious hobby of mine really*. I am very interested in individuals with this "greatness" I see which highly differentiates them from other people around them. People with this gift/talent, seems to unleash an aura of their own... A feeling of their presence alone tells you how different they are from people around them... In a way, it is an aura of superiority...

Everyone have their own unique greatness. Some in physical area, some more towards the mental area. This unique people in the perspective of others appear super duper extremely Great to an extent that they even seem to appear invulnerable before the challenges in life... HOW can this be? Why are there people out there born with this greatness? They appear so perfect, others can only live in inferiority.... I guess this is how reality works...

Of course that is simply viewed from the perspective of average others. Really, no matter how great a person actually is, deep inside and behind their wall of greatness lies a very vulnerable being we all call "human".

I agree that I was extremely amazed each time I found a person I consider to be "GREAT". But as time passes by, I notice how fragile these so-called "great" beings actually are. Each and every great person I know have some sort of weakness. Most of the time this weakness can be ridiculed by common others, that is how fragile they actually are deep inside.

Some people are so great, but deep inside they have sooooo overly low self-esteem to an extent that they spend most their time feeling miserable. On the other hand, some people with this greatness have overly high self-esteem to an extent that they become hated by others. Ultimately, overly high/low self-esteem will make a person pathetic.

A "GREAT" person who have a very low self-esteem, feels unwillingly fragile when they are in the presence of others but at the same time they know that such others are more inferior compared to them, its complicated. However, this kind of people often have a very high sense of personal insecurity towards their own image they are portraying to others. In other words, they fear being misinterpreted by others and they fear to be perceived as a weak individual. Since these people have a very high sense of security, only a very few amount of people (maybe 1 or 2) will actually become their friend whom their secrets will be shared with. A very fragile and lonely person behind a very great figure in the eyes of others. These kind of people are mostly kindhearted :).

Some other "GREAT" people who have a very high self-esteem tends to be too overly confident to an extent that they give out statements saying great things about their own intelligence and complexion. There is nothing wrong with their statement, its just that some other people tend to be irritated by the presence of their "superiority" and wants to bring them down. Thus these kind of people will tend to be surrounded by at least "some" if not many haters. These kind of people usually becomes very very lonely and they will definitely appreciate the few great friends who actually accept them for who they are. I guess this is common, you can see them in television dramas in fact :P. These kind of people will tend to encounter a situation in which they will encounter problems with at least one of their fellow clique. This is because this friend of theirs will behave in a way that seems to be unacceptable in their perspective. Of course they will try to cope up with the unacceptable behavior of their friend. However, such actions will only make these great people feel more miserable. Thus, they will confront this friend of theirs (or avoid/ignore), and scar the existing "friendship". Afterward they will learn a very valuable lesson about the true "definition" of friends and be more careful the next time around.

Of course there are MANY other sort of greatness out there that can be stated in this post however, the point is rather simple, every people we know no matter how "great" they actually are, they are simply human beings at heart. They have hearts that can be melted with nice actions and hearts that can be broken with disappointment. They are not a machine that can consistently triumph over the challenges in life without being scarred.

In fact, each and every GREATNESS I see in people are the result of the GREAT ordeal they had to personally overcome back in their past. I had NEVER yet come across a GREAT person who does not have a GREAT story to tell about their past...

A person's past shapes a person's future. In other words, a person's past shapes a person's greatness. If so, then how do we truly define "greatness"? Greatness can be defined in many different ways in many different point of views. But my definition of simple greatness would most probably be.......

"those who are given great obstacles in life, persistently facing the great ordeal, consistently getting up after falling down, continuously looks forward even when everything's a blur.... They will rise and rise again without even knowing when everything is over, they have achieved greatness."

Yes, I know, that definition is weak, but it is my own definition towards greatness, so in a way, I can never be wrong, heheh... There are countless people who are given great challenges in the very early stages of their life... Some challenges in life appear to be too challenging and too early to be faced by some individuals at their young age... It makes them feel that life seems so unfair and reality seems to be so cruel. Facing the great obstacles in life, powerless in every way, we could only learn to know about the cruelty in life and how to face it. Many would fail these great challenges in life and become what many people perceive as "failures". But that is only because these individuals are not strong enough to face this great ordeal without the help of others. They are misguided, alone, and could only follow what seems like the "easiest" path in life which is actually the path of "destruction".

Among these many failures who could not bear living with the challenges in life, lies a few not many, people who are instilled with greatness. These few people managed to consistently stand strong and finally overcome the great challenges before them. Slowly but surely, their life will finally begin, everything will slowly make sense, life will appear to be not as complicated as you previously view it to be since you can finally view life with eyes unclouded.

These are basically the kind of people who I perceive as "great". Those who can easily stand firm before the challenges that could make others panic. Those who can easily apply empathy in life as they themselves had gone through great unimaginable ordeal in life. Those who have a very strong set of rules in life which they themselves created in the past to survive the great challenge (which is why every great person is unique from one another). Those who have a very deep and complex personality only few would be able to truly understand and appreciate.

Of course, I would say there can be an argument whether this "greatness" is actually the result of pure "strength" or pure "luck".

Again, there are many many many other kind of greatness out there, but this is the kind of greatness I am most interested with. Wow, I have shifted quite far away from the main topic...

Actually, the main reason I posted this topic is to basically state how disappointed I am each time I found a great person, deep inside each and everyone of them lies a very typical weakness or flaw which does not make them PURELY GREAT as a whole. In other words, Great on the outside, fragile in the inside.

But slowly as I began to write about this topic and unintentionally went off-topic... I slowly realize what a fool I am to even actually feel disappointed with the fact of never actually finding a person with pure greatness. I am slowly starting to appreciate this greatness and flaw they have which makes them who they are right now... Life suddenly appear so beautifully unique.. in a way... Hmm... In times like this, I love to spend most of my time in my own world of imagination where Intrapersonal communication dominates. Okay, I need to quickly finish this post.

Okay, so in other words *back to the very main TOPIC*, we must not have a very low/high self-esteem. In fact, we should apply "moderation". Imagine yourself being scolded by your parents and being asked a very stupid question, you should never be too smart or too stupid when answering the question, you should be moderate :D. Moderation is a way of life, again, one of the many GREATNESS of Islam is for highly stressing important things like this :).

Sometimes it sickens me when people think that they are finally starting to know me and makes generalization about me when they physically meet me in life and experience my physical presence thus noticing my behaviors and actions I portray to them. I am not truly who I am through the actions I show and the words I speak and the blogs that I have written.

Speaking of this, I recently notice how silent I am when I am in the presence of my parents. This fact ASTONISHED me. I am starting to realize how much my parents actually do not know about me. When I eat at the table or when I am in the car or whenever I am around them, I only speak when necessary and answer questions when asked. Most of the time I sit in my own room and stay silent around them. How can people actually know me if my parents alone don't know much about me??

Some people say that I am silent, some say that I am overly talkative. Some say that I am arrogant, some say that I am nice. Some say that I curse too much, some say that they could not even IMAGINE me cursing. Some say that I am too predictable, some say that they don't understand me. Some say that I am hardworking, some say that I am a couch-potato. Some say that I am cold, some that I am very funny. Some say "this" about me, some say "that" about me.

Hmm... I am a geek who is awesomely addicted to playing games but at the same time highly active in physical activities. I am highly silent with the people I dislike and highly talkative with the people I am comfortable with. I show kindness to those who I feel deserving and act like bullcrap to those who deserve otherwise. I act in the way people want me to act so that they can comfortably have a conversation with me (with some others), I act in an awkward way with a few others, I act in the way who I actually am to a very few selected others. I show arrogance to some and my humble self to others. I couldn't care less about people's perception towards me, but there are times when I tend to care. I have a very high sense of self-motivation when it comes to a challenge that involves competition, but I have a very low self-motivation when it comes to improving myself for the sake of self-improvement alone.

I am like an actor and the world is my stage. Why am I not getting paid for this? Lol. I hate it when I try to put everything in words. It will only stir confusion and unwanted false generalization towards me. No matter how great a person may be, they can never live alone. Thus they require and seek for someone whom they can truly show who they are deep inside and share everything they have about themselves. So for those who promote a life without a partner, all I can say is you have yet much to learn. :D

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Thinks that I have in mind to blog about (do ignore)

2010-12-21T19:29:00.000-08:00

1. An Angel Told Me A Story (Part 3)
2. UIA students are selfish
3. Dreams, Ambitions, Law?
4. No water, toilet, broken wooden basket?
5. Clouds, moonlight, rain.
6. Able to online during class :D

Deciding how to separate this stories into how many blog posts. :3. Laters.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

I Feel So OLD, So OLD I Feel

2010-12-10T03:12:00.001-08:00

It has been a while since I last wrote something for my blog. It is safe to say that my last semester in UIA is completely an utter failure in many different ways including in terms of my physical and academic performances :D. I've been spending quite some time playing games as much as I possibly can at home so that I could grow sick of it when the new semester starts and I think its working. I have to change various methods of living my life when new semester kicks in. No more playing too much games, no more excessively daydreaming, no more last-minute approach of studying. Why? Because this method is not working and I can see that it is making me weaker and stupider by the day. Well, I can't say that I did not predict such an outcome because my results were EXACTLY the way I predicted it to be. To see it for myself is way more irritating than I thought.

My failure in performing academically would be due to several different reasons which are because of my last-minute-study-approach, too much playing games + daydreaming, and also having lecturers that are unexpectedly unexpected. (Notice that I typed "Lecturers" with an "s"). I never thought that most of my lecturers would be from the black-listed category personally made by IIUM HS students due to their personal bad experience they had learning from these "lecturers". Previously I thought to myself, "Meh! How bad can these lecturers be?". But then when I encountered POP-EXAMS and biased score markings, I was then beginning to understand. Thus, I failed academically this semester.

My failure in performing physically would be due to several different reasons which are because of my laziness, my time-table covered the whole evening thus I could not join my friends practicing, and also laziness again. I tried to focus on improving only ONE aspect at time. During my last semester, I tried to improve my arm strength alone so I frequently worked my body at the bars to do pull-ups and muscle-ups. Of course, such training does prove to have an effective outcome... BUUUUT~! I learned that you should NEVER only focus on improving one thing at a time. I noticed that my skill improvements in other physical areas are remaining static and some are even decreasing. My previous semester had made me realize that my method of improving one thing at a time is not actually a good choice. There are simply TOO MANY THINGS that I want to improve in life and it seems as if my available time and energy is simply just not enough. But of course, that should not be used as a reason to "NOT TRY"... I failed to notice that I was slowly becoming a hypocrite I myself personally despise, using time and energy and reasoning as a silly excuse not to try. Being a nerd in UIA made me reason too much, its time to re-invite who I previously was. I've noticed too much "thinkers" producing lame reasoning such as "its a waste of time to try to improve yourself in things that you can't excel", "you are wasting too much of your time on physical aspects, you have to focus on your academics", "I already have a girlfriend, therefore I do not need to desperately improve myself in every way possible" etc etc....

Speaking of excuses, its irritating to see grown-up married dudes use the word "happiness" as an excuse or a symbol to represent their FAT STOMACH. "My job is doing fine, my tummy should be able to represent my happiness". That is seriously a lame excuse. I refuse to become these "typical" married dudes in the future. I will try to stay in shape until the day I die. :D.

Way off-topic. So where was I? Oh yeah, I failed physically and academically during my last semester, yada yada yada~

Basically, my next semester will consume a very LARGE AMOUNT of my TIME and ENERGY as I will be very very active in both academic and physical aspect. I think I will face a few difficulties adjusting to it but by posting about this on my blog, I think it should help me feel a bit more motivated as I need to live up to my words.

Oh yeah, regarding to this post's title. I feel so old! This is because its been a while since I worked my ass off to work-out. As we all know, it takes time for a person to get used to a movement and this can be done through repetition. So, if you haven't done any workouts for a very long time, I can assure you that your first attempt of working out would be simply SAD. Being a game-freak has its negative side-effects and this is one of them. So, I tried doing sit-ups.

When I use the word "old", I specifically mean "physical weakness due to laziness itself". I believe that the word "old" is simply an excuse not to physically perform.

To make things short, I am disappointed with my past performance, however, I wouldn't change a thing about it even if I could. I take this as an experience to be learned from as a guidance to further improve myself in the future and I do expect myself to improve very much during my next semester and so on. I hope that this will be my ONLY downfall in UIA, and from now on, my new dawn of improvements will finally begin.

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Okay, I guess that should cover about my last semester aside from my new swimming habits I've been having but there is nothing much to tell.

During this holiday, we've been quite busy. :3. I can safely say that we've been to many places many times to do Parkour. However, I would only like to mention two events that we went through. The first event would be the one of the most waste of time event we went at Taman Tasik Titiwangsa, not worth mentioning about really, seriously not worth explained in detail. Lets just say that a person held an event, when we came, the person is not there, :/. The second event would be our performance for the Mini Cooper new car edition event thingy. It seems that they only had two kind of performances planned for the event which includes us and the models (2 dudes, 2 chicks [When I use the word "chicks", I'm not demeaning women, it is actually a compliment really, it is simply a part of our everyday language and you should get used to it rather than put deeper meaning to it than there actually is]). One of the dude model I recognized, he acted for a movie, he had twins in the movie and I am not sure is he actually has twins in real life, the movie SUCKS big time, end of story.

Hmm... This post quite sucks actually, it is simply more towards a brief update about my life. :/. I'll try to make it interesting next time, after I spend a bit of my time getting used to my fourth semester in UIA.

Oh yeah, for those who are HS students, do you guys know how to minor in Law? :O

Parasite|sAnExistence

Grammatical Error, what a shame

2010-10-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

Throughout my life, I have encountered many individuals having great control over the language we would like to call "English"~! But its a shame really, a majority of these people I meet usually encounter the same kind of problem which I myself cannot help with... Grammatical errors every now and then... Sometimes it is not even a grammatical error, but rather the words in the sentence which are used could simply be replaced with more appropriate words. It is simply those kind of silly mistakes are silly habits that is very hard for individuals as such as us to help. After all, language is simply a habit, and habit is awesomely hard to change. Past tense, present tense, future tense, singular, plural, the normal problems people seem to encounter every now and then. =3

For Example:

I love car.
I misses my mom.
I loves her.

I myself have a very bad habit due to the fact that I tend to try and attempt to discuss my whole point of view towards a matter regarding an element in a single long sentence in such a way that I am doing now as I try to prolong it in such a manner that it allows me to construct a sentence that will be consist of all my necessary points of arguments which will ultimately form a single sentence that simply appears like a single damn paragraph.

Also, I encountered people who have great control over their "Bahasa Melayu".... However, most of these people that I know usually encounter the same problem whenever they are writing a short story or a long story or whatever story that they tend to write. What "problem" you ask? Well, have you guys ever noticed that their way of writing a story does not naturally reflect the natural behavior of the contemporary human beings in terms of both actions and way of thinking during their daily activities? More specifically, their way of writing does not naturally reflect Malaysians.

For example :

“Kau dulu pernah beri tazkirah soal zina hati. Takkan lupa? Bila hati saling mengingati, aku tengok kau dah lalai! Lagipun, Allah larang kita mendekati zina, bukan melakukan zina. Kau belum terlewat untuk bertaubat. Lupakanlah Wa, apa tak cukupkah Allah sebagai kekasih kau? Dia yang menemani kau siang malam, Yang Maha Mendengar setiap luahan hati?”

Wardah terdiam. Namun baginya ungkapan Fiza hanya mencurah air ke daun keladi. Dia ingin Hafiz menjadi miliknya!

I have a very hard time in trying to apply this type of conversation during our normal daily conversations. In other words, the way that they write their essays are simply tooooooooo "fictional" as this kind of behavior can only be seen in "drama" that includes low-class actors.

That is all for now, until then.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Taking Control Over The Situation

2010-10-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

I had always perceived myself as a person wearing a mask.

My character that I had created in order to portray myself in UIA had always been the same since I was in UIA Nilai. My actions and behavior does not necessarily reflect my thinking. I had always prefer to stay in the very corner of the class and stay quiet until the very end. I had always prefer to limit my relationship with others be it the lecturer or even my classmates. But when the time has come for me to actually participate such as doing assignments or presentations, I do my very best to live up to people's expectations. Mostly people find this to be weird as the attitude that I portray when I am presenting or participating during assignments completely contradict their previous understanding towards my character. I like it this way... And I prefer it to be in this way....

1. You don't know me.
2. Keep it that way.
3. But yes, you can count on me.

But lately, it seems that most of the situations that I am encountering lately is encouraging me to repeatedly participate and participate and participate and some even to an extent of forcing me to take control over the situation.

This semester, I am currently taking Leadership as one of my subjects. Basically, during the beginning of the class, we were entitled to do an assignment regarding "flora and fauna"... We were given the time from the beginning of the semester until the 16th of October in order to complete the assignment. During the 16th of October, we will have to present the assignment to 6 different judges all-together.

At first, when I entered the class, I noticed that there are around 8 guys all-together including me. I hate these dudes.... The problem is, they FREQUENTLY AND CONTINUOUSLY make up jokes that are not even funny in the first place and then laugh like idiots. Most of them are from terengganu, so maybe it is only me who fail to understand their silly jokes. So what I did was, I created a barrier between me and them as I sat in complete silence. The overall students of the class were then divided into two different groups. Since the amount of chicks were more than the dudes, two chicks were forced to join the dudes. The lecturer told us that we will be given 2 different topics which are "flora and fauna" or "Children's safety" or something like that. So, in order words, "sape cepat dia dapat!!" or in English "whoever picks the topic first will get what they desire while the other group will have to take the leftovers"...

I refuse to take control over the situation, but I do not want my future to be determined by others. What I did was I told my group members to take the topic flora and fauna, no matter what because that topic is awesomely easy. Then my group got the topic I wanted, yay! After a while, the dudes voted among themselves to be the leader while I pretend to be gazing off elsewhere. Then after a while, one of the dudes became the leader. He then excitedly told everyone "OKAY YOU LAZY FOOLS!!! WE ARE GOING TO DO A FRIGGIN TRIP TO EXPLORE OUR FLORA AND FAUNA!!! MUAHAAHAHA!!!!!" Something like that, of course my re-enactment is exaggerated. Okay, so then I gave my number to the group leader and told him to contact me for further discussion.

During the next day, they did a group discussion, I however, was not able to come to the group discussion. So I told him that I will personally come to his room later during night, so just proceed with the discussion and then fill me with the details. Then later that night, I came to his room.....

When I came to his room, he portrayed to me his leader-like appearance as he spoke to me in a very formal manner. I on the other hand wearing sleeveless shirt and a pair of Hawaiian shorts, I was like "sorry for being late, hohoho". So, when I was sitting in front of his laptop, he told me about the discussion that has been made. He told me that they were going to make a trip, and that the assignments will be about the trip itself in terms of objective, details, budget ane etc.... In other words, what he have in mind is basically a PROPOSAL...

As I was looking at the sub-topics that are required to be filled into the assignment, I noticed the necessary sub-topics listed in the guideline given by the lecturer such as "research problem, recommendations, conclusion, research methodology, etc".... I was like.... What the fish?? Isn't this assignment supposed to be a RESEARCH? Obviously, all of these sub-topics does not fit in with all the guidelines for the assignment. In fact, such guidelines are obviously for research study, not a damn proposal. So then I asked my so-called leader, do you guys actually know what needs to be filled in each of these sub-topics if we were to apply it to our proposal? He then told me "That's the problem, we do not know how to do so..."....

I was like.... So..... WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR SO CALLED GROUP DISCUSSION IF NO DEVELOPMENT WAS MADE!???? So then I clearly stated the contradiction of their main idea regarding the assignment. I told them it is not supposed to be about a damn trip towards flora and fauna, but it should be about the study regarding flora and fauna. For example the problem that we are going to study is about the poor level of awareness of Malaysians towards flora and fauna, and such and such. This way, it fits in nicely with the guidelines given. He was like "oooooohhh, like that!! Luckily you are here, I have no idea what needs to be done.". So, I then helped him by listing down the main points that should be elaborated to complete the assignment. I then told him before I went back, sms me for further discussion yeah? Laters~

After many many many weeks has gone by after that... 3 weeks ago I think, we were supposed to gather for a leadership activity thingy at the main auditorium (we had about a months and a half of holiday since there are no leadership class afterward). I sat beside the leader, I then asked him "How's the assignment?". He then told me they had group discussions previously (what? why was I not invited?) and had discussed the necessary details. I then asked him, soooo, how's the ASSIGNMENT? It turns out that NOTHING had been done.... He then told me that he no longer wants to be the leader and he wanted me to be the LEADER instead... I was like.... WHAT THE HELL!?!?

WE HAD LIKE ABOUT 3 WHOLE MONTHS TO DO THE ASSIGNMENT!! NOW WE HAVE LESS THAN 3 WEEKS BEFORE THE FINAL PRESENTATION, YOU SUDDENLY WANT ME TO TAKE CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION!?!? ON TOP OF THAT, YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING AT ALL!?!?!?

So I was like, okay, sms me the group members phone number then we'll start from there. So, after I got their phone numbers. I sms'ed each and everyone of them. Did you guys attended to the previous group discussions? How's the development? Do you guys realize we have less than 3 weeks before the final presentation? Do you guys know who's the group leader? Guess what? Each and everyone of them calmly replied to my sms saying yes, we attended to the previous group discussions... Our development is doing fine, and yes we know who our group leader is, he is Khairul, you should ask him personally to know more, ;D!

I was like.... O... My.... God.... They have no idea that NOTHING has been done.... They have no idea that I am the NEW LEADER... They have no idea that their perception towards the assignment is absolutely false.... They have no idea that THEY ARE NOT CONTRIBUTING AT ALL! So I decided to take major actions and then decided to do group discussions immediately at the library. Guess what? Only two person came. :). The previous leader and a chick. The previous leader only stayed for 15 minutes or so. The chick stayed for an hour. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention to you guys that this chick is married, yup. And i forgot to mention to you guys that ALL 7 DUDES that exist in my group gave the whole workload of doing the assignments to this MARRIED WOMAN WHO HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILD. I was like, what the F**K is wrong with my male group members? She is obviously busy since she is married, they all gave her the workload to do the assignment ALL BY HERSELF? Since then, I hated my male group members for their F**KED up behavior.

So what I did was, I told the married woman, its okay, you don't need to do the assignment, let me do all the work yeah? At first she was like, seriously? I dont think that is appropriate. Well, firstly, she has no idea how to do the assignment and she has not done anything in the first place. So I figured, it would simply be a waste of time if I were to hope that any of my ignorant group members will do the assignment. They are too STUPID to even understand what needs to be done in the first place.

During the next leadership class, my group members then knew I was the new group leader. At first they were having this kind of facial expression on their face "Who is this dude? Who does he think suddenly trying to take control over the situation? U did not even attend to the previous group discussions". I was fairly irritated by their facial expressions. So I quickly presented about their false perception about the whole idea regarding the assignment. I told them in SPECIFIC DETAILS what needs to be done in order to complete the assignment. Then gradually their facial expression changed from being a cocky idiot they were before into simply idiots who have no idea what to do.

So I then told them, NOT TO WORRY, I will do the assignment ALL BY MYSELF and then I will try to present it to you guys before the next class for your own personal understanding. So they were like idiots agreeing to each and everything I said. After the class, then my previous group leader told me that "umm.... Actually, our group members had a hard time understanding what needs to be done actually". I was like mentally thinking to myself... I see, so they are that STUPID...

Within 6 days, I completed the 20 pages of assignment from SCRATCH along with the questionnaires and such ALL BY MYSELF. When the time came for me to present to the lecturer for his approval, he told me that it was awesome and that we can proceed with the discussion for presentation. I was like, wooohoooo!! My effort was worth it! I AM AWESOME!!

Then I told my group members our assignment was awesomely accepted as everything was written in DETAIL... It was 20 pages long. Then one of my group members said "20 pages?... Sikitnye (in English = Why so little?)..". I don't know if that was one of the TERENGGANU stupid JOKES, but I swear that I myself really felt like punching that guys face or at least burst by saying what the f**k does a stupid idiot like you know you son of a b***h!? But I pretended that I didn't hear it. I only explained to them with a smile + laughing etc...

Then the time came for me to choose who will be the 3 main presenters for the assignment this upcoming Saturday. Guess what? NONE OF THEM WANTS TO PRESENT. Each and everyone of them told me "OH GOD~~!!!! IT IS MY VERY FIRST TIME SPEAKING IN ENGLISH IN UIA~!!! I AM TOO STUPID IN ENGLISH~!! MY TERENGGANU ACCENT WILL BE INCLUDED IN MY ENGLISH~!! I WILL TREMBLE LIKE AN IDIOT~! ETC..."

Yes, I know you guys are idiots, stop convincing me that you guys are. My previous group leader is a LAW student.... A freakin LAW STUDENT!! Experts in argument and facts, he told me that he doesn't want to be one of the main presenters? Are you kidding me!? So then I decided to choose him, and also another chick that I haven't mentioned, she was my classmates during my time in Nilai, her presentation so far is good, so I'll be choosing her as one of the 3 main presenters....

..........................................................
Truth be told... I am highly disappointed by my group members... None of them even decided to offer me help or even ask me how to make them useful by contributing to the group assignment... On top of that, none of them offered to become one of the main presenter... Also, when I ask them to gather for group discussion, none of them replied and none of them came....

I ALONE... Did the whole f***ed up assignment.... It was me alone who made it possible by working day and night for 6 consecutive days... I perceive myself as a calm person... I try to pity and help those around me without expecting nothing in return... But this...

THIS IS OVER THE LINE. You don't want to present? You don't want to read the whole assignment!? Do you realise that this is not a the kind of presentation that is marked according to your individual presentation but in fact as a GROUP!? I'll be damned if my marks is going to be affected by you F****D UP IDIOTS!

SO I DECIDED TO GATHER EVERYONE THIS WEDNESDAY AS A GROUP DISCUSSION AND OF COURSE TO RE-EXPLAIN TO THEM ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENT FOR THE PRESENTATION... I will firstly present to them my part so that they will know a little much about what is going on and what level of expectations I have towards them in terms of presentation....

I will then torture them by asking DIFFICULT questions... I will not let them go back unless they are able to answer all my questions successfully...

Seriously... I am at my limit.... I can only be so kind for so long.... If they disagree to take my orders or if they do not pay attention to what I am saying... I swear... I will directly tell them in front of their face how stupid they actually are, how useless they fucking are, how a burden they actually are in my perspective. If I were to get rid of them, it will not affect the group's development at all, why? Because they haven't contributed at all. In fact without them, it will make things easier for me to present the damn assignment.

I don't think I can control myself anymore if their stupidity continue to persist this upcoming Wednesday. They continue to take advantage of me without any feeling of guilty, well fuck you, I will make you suffer this Wednesday and force you to contribute to my marks in anyway possible. What can these faggots who dare call themselves men (who gave all the workload to a married woman) do? Disagree with me? I don't think this faggots will actually dare to, once I show my true colour this upcoming Wednesday.

But of course, I will only torture the dudes... The chicks will only be given simple questions and they will need to observe and learn how the dudes are targeted with difficult questions and how they deal with it. Nice, this blog has served its purpose. I pray that I can maintain my cool, I don't want my self to commit any physical actions out of anger. That is so not awesome. :)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Take A Step Away From My Comfort Zone, Thanks

2010-09-06T19:09:00.000-07:00

This post will consist of random topics.

I never thought that a day would finally come when I feel discomfort in my very own home :O.... Seriously, this is the very first time my comfort zone is being challenged to its limit. I even went to the extent of bitching about it on facebook, can you believe it? Speaking of facebook, I find it irritating when I see guys expressing their inner-emo-self through the usage of facebook's status update over and over again such as "Dear God, you are the only One who could understand the pain that I feel in my chest..Please let it go away...Please...Let me forget her..." or "I'm NOT IN A GOOD MOOD!!" or "SHIT!! I wish I could cut off my LEGS!!!" or "I'm sorry... I miss you... ;(" or "I love you so much my hubby wubby~! <3!!!" and many more that could be categorized in the "I don't give a damn" category. How ironic it is for me myself, a person who deeply despise this kind of status updates, actually went bitching about my discomfort on facebook~! Such irony, woot!!

Let us study what is going on here... Isn't this action similar to what we call the act of the "hypocrites"? Yes, I myself am irritated to realize this fact. Back to Facebook's status update... Usually, when I see people pray to God on facebook updates or actually write that he or she is praying for other people, I find it awkward. It is weird from my point of view to actually pray for others or self on facebook's status update... Why is it necessary? Why don't you just pray sincerely and honestly like normal people usually do? But a friend of mine justify this method by saying that it is with the hope that others would also pray for them. However, I do doubt that others have that in mind when they post such status updates in the first place. In fact, I doubt that they actually prayed after or before they post such prayer on facebook. I'm not saying that it is a fact, I'm just saying that I am unfamiliar with such action.

When people post status updates such as "Sorry baby, I won't do it again... ;(", something like that. I find that to be in the category of "TMI", too much information. Why is it necessary? Human have created cellphones and the usage of SMS to provide private communications with one another. Heck, such method is also available through the usage of "chat" and "Message" in facebook itself. Every now and then I don't mind actually, but the over-usage of status updates to express their lovey-dovey relationships can sometimes bore people, you agree?

What about the kind of status updates that states "I'M NOT IN A GOOD MOOD! DON'T TALK TO ME!!". What is the real intention behind this attention-whoring behavior? If you are really in a bad mood and you wish that others give you privacy, you can simply appear offline in chat and ignore others (it is what I usually do when newbies ask me about parkour, wee~! :D!). Which is to say that the real reason behind such a contradicting act is because they actually want people's attention, awwww~

Waits a minute... Back to my "hypocrite" self! Yes, why was I complaining about my discomfort through facebook? Well, I would simply explain that by saying "Sometimes, when people want to express something, they tend to choose the nearest method that enables them to do so". For example, your mother suddenly told you that you are going to get married with a stranger this weekend... If it so happens that you were on the phone with your friend, you would most probably bitch about it to your friend (same thing during face-to-face conversation and online chatting).. If you were playing basketball with yourself during that time, you would most probably bitch about it by throwing the ball as hard as you could towards something while screaming "whaaaaat theeeeeeee faaaaaaaaaaaaaaatuuuuttttt!?". If you were facebook-ing during that time, you would most probably start bitching about it through facebook, yay~!

Owh well, lets just say that as long as I do not portray my emo-self excessively via facebook, its okay~ (hohoho)... Well, what can I say? My house is in the process of renovation(adding another room on the 2nd floor), the only rooms that I can hang out in is my room and my parents'. Yesterday my room was in the process of getting painted, thus I had to hang out in my parent's room. The reason why there are only 2 available rooms for me to hang out in is because the tiles of my entire house is being upgraded therefore making it complicated for me to move around. Still not enough? I cannot move around freely because the house is full of workers be it on the ground floor or the second floor or even on the stair case! You might think, "Owh, thats normal, so all you have to do is simply go online 24/7 in your room right? That's okay what~?". Well no! Due to my parent's hyperactive behavior as a response to the so called "excitement" of seeing the house finally being renovated, it is not enough for the workers to do their job, they had to drag us along to do unnecessary jobs! SERIOUSLY, WTF!?

Irritating Things That I Had To Go Through
1. I had to remove paints that accidentally landed on some of my furniture, but why in the hell did I have to do so when the process of the painting was not yet DONE COMPLETELY!? There's a high probability that I have to do it again for the SECOND time because someone was not matured enough to make a smart decision. Its almost as if you are washing the car during heavy rain.
2. Seriously, 85% of the house is preoccupied with unfinished renovation, why the hell paint my ONE and ONLY ROOM BEFORE the renovation was COMPLETED?? Can't you guys at least WAIT for the renovation to be completed and THEN paint the room? It doesn't make sense, seriously.
3. I couldn't take a bath freely because the workers are adding a new bathroom and the process is affecting the other pipes in my house, irritating.... Not only for a few hours, but half a day.
4. I hate the noise, not only the construction noise, but also the noise they make communicating with one another.
5. I hate the dust, I have to practically walk in slippers because the house is full of dust.
6. Provided with my parent's orders to move some of the furniture for the renovation to take place, it is a pain in the arse..

My comfort zone is completely challenged in every way possible! I can't have my own privacy, I can't sleep whenever I feel like it, I can't find a comfort zone, I can't even "think" in tranquility. I really2 wanted to go back to UIA Gombak, but the problem is I am not sure about the cafe, is it still open? or closed?

I can't think straight when my mind is not at ease, I need to find a place to rest and think, but such a place is not within my reach for now.

Now back to facebook, it is actually sad to see (usually girls) who edit their pictures by increasing the colour brightness, editing out the acnes and such. It is even more sad to see those who usually take pictures using only ONE SINGLE post over and over again. Of course the horny guys out there would compliment them like crazy, but to what extent? Imagine if the girl suddenly decided to go with a dude she met online.... Imagine the shock that the poor guy have to go through! Most probably "OMG! You're face is full of acne!!! I've never seen this ugly side of you!!" I wanted to write a different reaction. but I fear that might appear racist, lol. Usually this kind of girls usually speak in a retarded way such as "Essshh, fown kte rosak laaa, sedeyh la cmnieee~ ;(("... I know that these kind of people are excited with the fact that if they open their eyes REAL WIDE and pose in a certain position, if they take a picture and edit2 some more, they can actually appear very attractive! But seeerriooouussslllyyyy? :O.....

Speaking of guys who approach girls in a very desperate manner through the usage of internet, i find that to be Super Sad~! I mean seriously, even if the guy managed to flirt with the girl, the fact that such approach is Sad will not be changed. Imagine if a person suddenly asked "How did you guys romantically found each other? :D", the response would be "We met through internet, he was flirting all over me".. "Uhuh... Thats... Uh... Romantic..."...

Speaking of facebook, the holiday I spent playing facebook application's game such as Mafia Warz and Ninja Warz... Now it is really starting to piss me off a bit... Every day there would be random people adding me and sending me message asking me "How the hell did you managed to get to such a HIGH LEVEL!? :O" or "You must be a HACKER!!!".... First of all, I would like to say that Ninja Warz and Mafia Warz is the only game that I played on facebook without manipulating the game's system :D. What do I mean manipulating? For example, in Restaurant City, you can simply level up and get money easily by creating new accounts and then send gifts to your account :3... In mafia warz and Ninja warz on the other hand, I simply use brain and tactic that I must say, WEIRD because others couldn't figure out.... In Mafia warz I could level up as much as I can as long as I click continuously since my energy is limitless. In ninja warz however requires a different strategy, but I quit playing the game since UIA started. Lets just say that in Ninja Warz, I could easily become the globally top no 1 player in the game, yesh, I'm that awesome when it comes to games~! Hohoho~!

Now lets talk about UIA. Speaking of UIA, my JPA application got rejected. My reaction? Owh well, this is all part of fate. I am now a full-time-squatter in UIA, I am so proud of myself oh yeah! By the way, the LAN connection at Mahallah Siddiq is awesome, I can play dota every night if I wanted to but the best thing is the fact that I could easily copy movies and series that others have spent weeks and even months downloading. Weee~!

Ramadhan has really managed to put a stop to my exercise. My body is getting TOO thin, NOT good.. After Ramadhan I will continue with my training and workouts provided with frequent consumption of food.

Speaking of parkour, we should be releasing a new video by the end of raya, I'm not so sure how it will turn up to be though, quite funny for me I think, haha. Anyways, the recording session should take place today, if the video were to be completed, I will straight away post it here. :D

I think that should be it for now. I will try to find a more specific topic next time. I simply can't focus right now, renovation sucks ass~!

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

What's inside my head?

2010-09-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

Physically speaking, of course the brain. Metaphorically speaking, of course my thoughts.

The further I study about mass communication as I major in such field of study, the further I understand how common it actually is to find another person thinking in a way that is similar to me. Not to mention that the information I daily get from my other friends majoring in Psychology also helps me realize this fact. In other words, I am talking about personality. The persistent and enduring behavior patterns that tend to be expressed in a variety of situations. Some people might think they have a unique personality, but such personality is actually common. Do you agree?

Usually, when I look at the people around me, I often find them predictable and unable to cope with new information that contradicts with their old ones. What the hell am I talking about u say? I'm talking about perception, the act of experiencing the world and the way we interpret such experience. You see, different people have different perceptions altogether to understand the world they are living in. They have their own cognitive styles of interpreting the world around them. It is basically the mental processes used to perceive and make judgments from situations. What did I mean when I say people find it hard to digest new information that contradicts with their old information? Let me give you an example that mostly occurs to me. Most people who managed to have conversations with me, they tend to interpret how I behave and act towards them as my true personality. What do I mean "true personality"? Well, you see... Different scholars have different arguments regarding personalities. One of the scholars argue that a person actually has multi-personalities. The type of personality a person frequently choose to be used and to define who they actually are deep inside is their true personality. Now that we know about this, lets move on.

People often define who I am by the behaviors I practice in front of them. So, I shall explain to you the stages that people (commonly girls) usually go through when they try to perceive who I actually am. At first, they will look at me and define me as a silent person, shy if you will. Second, they will define me as the kind of person that is easy to get along with, not necessarily the kind of person you "like" to hang out with. Finally, they will encounter a totally new set of personality of me in which they could not comprehend even by comparing the new information with the old ones and make sense through it. Why does this happen? Do you guys know about first impression, second impression and so on? It is basically a process in which we make an impression of who the person actually is by referring to their actions that has been made. There are two types of impression which is the primary effect and the recency effect. The primary effect is the first impression we make of people and how we understand their behavior so on. The recency effect if the last impression we have towards the person and how we use it to understand the person. In other words, recency effect enables a person to continuously asses the characteristic and behavior of a person. These methods are effective to understand a person's personality. But how is it effective if the primary effect and the recency effect they use to define a person is actually the "fake" personality that they intentionally portray to you? I think it is more understandable if I say, a conman if you will.

At first, people will define me as a silent person because I will intentionally not speak and simply observe the people I have to interact with in order to understand them first. After understanding who these people are and how they react to certain situations and what do they actually think when they portray certain facial expression, I will then decide whether I should communicate with them or not and if I do want to communicate with them, in what manner do I wish to approach them? You see, for example, if I find these people to be utterly hypocrites who talk behind people's back and such, I will remain a silent person I previously portray myself as being. If I find these people to be utterly stupid for example being a hippie with a their stupid-appearance which portrays them as useless individuals who cannot think for themselves and frequently stays in the same idiotic group wearing the same kind of clothing which resembles them like a group of useless people (usually these kind of people are the sons of the wealthy), I will limit my relationship with such a person. But if I find these kind of people to be interesting, I will definitely try to communicate and understand more about who they are and how they perceive the world. Why do they perceive the world in such a way? Is it because of their cultural background? Their family background? What kind of environment do they live in to an extent that it shapes them to be who they currently are in this world we are living in? These are the questions I am interested in when I try to understand a person. Understanding people's view and behaviors is not sufficient if you truly want to understand who the person actually is, you have to understand their backgrounds as well. From there, you are able to picture how their views in life develop, and thus provide you with deeper understanding of a person and more accurate prediction regarding how a person would react to certain situation. By doing this, the sentence that dumbass people usually say "I don't understand you anymore" will not occur.

Oh yeah, first, people will define me as being silent because I am observing them. Second, they will define me as being an easy going person because I adapt myself to their behaviors. Usually, I find other people who does not portray their true personality and simply show their altered behaviors to adapt to others easily, when I encounter this kind of person, I avoid them. Because I don't like having a fake conversation with others. These kind of people are easily detectable through their tone of voice and facial expressions. We ourselves usually use this method when we meet new people, for example when we ask "where do u live? oooooo~" something like that. However, the type of people I am referring to is the kind of people who wears a mask. I don't know why other people usually fail to see this but obviously they wear a mask. It is simply a universal behavior that they have created to communicate with new people around them and usually this kind of mask enables them to smile eventhough when they disagree with what others are saying. The only differences between how I wear a mask and how these other people wear theirs, is the fact when I communicate with others, I sincerely communicate with them because I am interested with them. If I am not interested, I will not enable any kind of communication with them thus eliminating the probability of having to use fake smiles as a respond to others.

The last phase in which people usually encounter is when they encounter my true self, which is completely different from what I actually am from their previous point of views. The kind of people that I want to avoid due to certain reasons, will find my personality completely weird and they will find difficulties in understanding my new behavior as such behavior could not be related whatsoever with the previous one. Thus, this will create a situation in which the person will avoid me while I continue not to acknowledge such a person's presence. Some others, I acknowledge their presence, but I purposely avoid them due to certain reasons, hihihi :D. The people that I perceive as suitable in terms of being my friends will however not encounter any of these stages :D.

Oh yeah. I stated that the more I learn, the more I get to know that the characteristics which I previously define as "unique" personalities are not so unique anymore and is actually common. Usually, the people that I perceived as being unique, they themselves know that they are different from others and tend to act in a way that attracts others attention. What do I mean they are "unique" but is actually "common"? Yes, to the eyes of the common people, such traits are distinctly unique.... However, these unique characteristics are simply positive characteristics that have been studied and applied by scholars who pursue more knowledge in a more accurate manner. In other words, I now perceive that people who have these unique personalities are actually "intelligent" people who managed to learn this professional characteristics by chance or experience. What do I mean when I say unique personalities are actually professional characteristics? hmm?? :O

People who's words are often easily understood by others, people who easily understands others, people who could easily relate themselves to others thus attracting many others to them, these kind of people have the professional characteristics in which is defined as "high emotional intelligence". Yes, HIGH, EMOTIONAL, INTELLIGENCE.... Qualities such as understanding one's own feelings, empathy for others, and the regulation of emotion to enhance living. These kind of intelligence focuses on the ability to practice "sympathy" and "empathy". Do not take these two words lightly, they are in fact very hard to achieve. Sympathy is the act of UNDERSTANDING what others are feeling. People usually get into a conflict because they fail to acquire sympathy and often falsely understanding why the other party is behaving in such a manner. Imagine, if you were to be a councilor, when a student expresses his or her feeling regarding love problems, you falsely interpret their love as simply an act of hormonal imbalance and "horny" behavior. How do you think will affect you professionalism in work? Another important ability is empathy, which is to respond in way that you understand how others are feeling. For example, Crying (respond = sad face), Happy (respond = Smile). Imagine if the same student who expressed about his or her love problem to you in a sad manner, you respond in a way that you scold him or her angrily. Imagine how this would affect your professionalism?

The kind of people who have sympathy and can show empathy are "unique" individuals. They tend to attract other people's attention and have loads of friends, because this kind of people know what others think about them and how they should react in order to instill a positive image of themselves in the mind of others. Speaking of positive image, in communication, people refer to this as "face". In others words, don't drop your "water-face" :D. There are basically two different method relating to building a positive "face" of yourself towards other which is to maintain or improve your image, or correct other people's negative image towards you into a positive one. If you guys have these ability, I assure you that your existence will be taken notice by the people around you. It is however not easy to acquire this skill. In order to acquire this skill, one should always do what these kind people with high emotional intelligence do...... TALK TO YOURSELF... Yes. In order to understand others, one should understand themselves first. By knowing others, one can understand themselves even better. By understanding more different people, we can understand ourselves in different perspectives thus giving us the opportunity to understand ourselves deeper as well as other due to the fact understanding of self and others are closely an interrelated process... :D. If you rarely speak with yourself (intrapersonal), it sucks to be you dude. Intrapersonal is good, there has not been a day I never talk to myself. It is good during exams too! Never be too greedy of your knowledge. Whatever you learn, repeat that knowledge by teaching others such knowledge, if you can explain it to them, it is safe to say that you have grasp that knowledge better. If there's no one around you, try to explain that knowledge to yourself, verbally! (Using voice rather than inner voice, thoughts).

So far, I have only mentioned one unique personality which is associated with professional characteristics. Thinking creatively and critically outside the box in a manner that doesn't make sense. This is also the type of thinking that makes an individual "unique". However, this is also one of the professional characteristics that one should practice during professional discussions.

Other personalities can be associated with traditional intelligence in terms of verbal comprehension, word fluency. numerical acuity, spatial perception, memory, perceptual speed, inductive reasoning. Each of this is basically our traditional intelligence, each ability if well-grasped by individuals, will be well respected by others.

There are also other characteristics that can be learned in order to understand more about the people we define as "unique" individuals in terms of the eight major personality and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. The eight major personality are Neuroticism (Emotional stability), Extraversion (The likeliness to easily communicate with others), Openness to experience (adventurous), Conscientiousness (hardworking and such), Agreeableness (Flexible rather than egocentric), Risk taking and thrill seeking, optimism (positive thinking), and self monitoring (understanding self). Myers-Briggs Type indicator states that people's personality can be understood by their method of learning and perceiving their environment in terms of Extraversion-Introversion (Communicate with people), sensing-intuition (make judgment through sensing or intuition), Thinking-feeling (make judgment through thinking or feeling), Judging-Perceiving (making judgment through judging or perceiving).

So what I am trying to say is.... Although 80% of what I wrote is simply unimportant... What I am trying to say is... "Uniqueness" is not something you are born with... It is something that can be achieved, through learning... What you perceive as "unique" is actually common in the eyes of those critical thinkers. Keep that in mind. Because I'm awesome. :D!

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Ammar, Control Gile Kau Jalan Kat UIA

2010-07-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

After going through a long holiday without being exposed to any kind of academic matters, I have to admit that I felt somewhat stupid and unprepared to enter the same University I once struggled to maintain my cgpa, months ago.

A new semester in UIA... Some friends of mine are here for their very 1st semester in Gombak, which also means that I will not only just be a "Nerd" this semester since I am going to be actively participating in training sessions.

Most of my registered classes lack the existence of Male students and familiar faces. I am no longer living in the same room with previous roommates. I am also no longer going to the same classes my roommates are going for this semester due to our different interest in choosing a specialization for the course. I am Majoring Mass Communication specialized in Public Relation, I went for the introduction class of the subject and as I expected, the career in such a subject is very much exposed to dirty ways of gaining profits such as bribery and lies. But it depends on how I choose to do the job, pretty much like a lawyer.

For this new semester, I have to walk to class alone for each and every day in every week of the semester. I will only be accompanied by my friends during lunch hour. As usual, if I were to walk alone, I rarely pay much attention to the people around me due to several different reasons I have mentioned in my previous blog post before:-
http://parasiteisanexistence.blogspot.com/2010/03/being-social-with-others.html

In short:-
1. I am short-sighted
2. Since I rarely talk to girls, once I talk to one of them more than twice, others would have the tendency to interpret the situation wrongly. This happened to me 3x times in a row during a year of my study in Nilai. Two of them interpreted me as having a crush towards them when all I wanted is to basically approach them for academic matters alone. They even spread such a rumor about me liking them. Another misinterpreted my empathy and kindness to be something else, I myself find it sad that it turned out to be that way.

Well, I don't know about Gombak but that was what happened to me in Nilai. I would smile if a girl asks me something. But I wouldn't be surprise to give an emotionless reply to a girl if I notice her trying to create a long conversation with me. I would end the conversation quickly by creating an awkward situation even ice-breakers could not break. I think its better for people not to understand me... rather than misinterpreting me. (I would not mind if a girl were to have a crush on me, but it will simply make me sound pathetic if a girl were to spread rumors around that I have a crush on her instead)

Therefore I mostly walk to class while not paying attention to the people around me.

Now BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC!!! XD!!!

A friend of mine Abudi who recently enters Gombak told me "Ammar, control gile kau jalan kat UIA...". Why? Because he said that I did not notice him sitting at the HS cafe when I was walking by and I was not paying attention to my surroundings, haha!

So I think I am going to try and change my ways a bit, I will try to pay more attention to my surroundings this time around and say Hi to my friends if there are any, haha!

(A very short-post this time around, I'm impressed~!)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Toys Story Sucks Ass

2010-06-22T23:06:00.000-07:00

At first, I totally loved Toys Story 3 when I watched it at the cinema in Mid Valley. I love the storyline, I love the characters, I love the jokes, I love the graphics, I love the fact that Buzz lightyear suddenly speaks in Spanish and act romantically like one, I love it when they make their escape plan looks like mission impossible, I love it when they make the baby doll look as scary as hell with its right eye broken and acts as a bouncer, I love the part when the toy monkey looks at the camera monitor with its eyes open as wide as hell like a freak, I love the part when Potato Head uses its body parts to move around and uses something else to replace its own body, I love the part when they introduce the "joker"character which frowns all the time cause its hilarious, I love the part when they show the dog of their owner was already old and lazy, I love every single damn thing about the movie.

Most of all, I love the ending. Since the beginning of the story, they show Andy (the owner) as a person who was already too grown up to play with his toys like he usually does. His toys lost hope towards him and already gave in to their futile hope as they plan to be stored in the attic. But then, during the ending. Andy gave all of his toys to a girl who loves to play with toys exactly like he was when he was younger. He gave and introduced his toys one by one to the girl as he shows his true point of views towards them thus showing that each of them has their own sentimental value. He hesitated when he was about to give Woody to the girl as Woody was the one that he loves the most. But then he gave it to her with a condition that she takes very good care of each and everyone of them. In the end, Andy as their owner, played with them for the very last time. As he went away, he slowly said to himself, "thanks for everything...".

It is totally a better ending compared to Toys Story 2 because Toys Story 2 ending was quite sad...

As I was thinking to myself about Toy Story 3, I then slowly try to remember toys story and toys story 2... Then I was like, wtf?

Well, I'll tell you why. In Toys Story, Woody was supposed to have a girlfriend and her name was Bo Peep. I liked her character. BUT, suddenly in Toys Story 3 his girlfriend was no longer there! I searched about it in google and I found out that she was sold in a yard sale. Wtf, a friggin yard sale!? The main character's girlfriend was sold at a YARD SALE!? The worst part is that in toys story 3, Woody and everyone seems fine with the fact that she was simply sold at a YARD SALE...

Very very unromantic... Therefore, I hate toys story. Period.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Rebellious Days

2010-06-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

This will be my very first short post.

Every normal man would encounter a day where they become rebellious. To whom do they rebel to? Well, usually they rebel to their parents, rebel to the norms of the society, rebel to the law and most commonly would be rebelling to the school.

This mostly happen because dudes at this age will find a very hard time finding their true "identity". Meaning, they are currently embarking into a journey to find who they really are deep inside. People hanging out with the wrong people in the wrong environment will take longer to find who they actually are deep inside... They will try to mingle with things that they will eventually regret, but such actions are necessary in order for them to find their true "identity".

What do I mean true "identity"? Well, living a life where you only follow the norms and the laws of the society, school and family... It doesn't leave you much space for you yourself to make your own decisions. Thus, making it a very hard time for you to actually realize how your true identity is like. If these laws and norms do not entangle you in your everyday lives, what kind of person would you actually become? How do we want to know? ......Rebel.

People don't actually notice why and how they suddenly entered this "rebellious" age, it is simply something that comes naturally... To make it simple, it is something that everyone should encounter to know themselves better.

BUT... We need to be aware that this "rebellious days" are very important and it itself can affect you in a very very huge way... How so you ask? Well, this depends on how long and when you encounter it.

For example...Me.

I encounter this rebellious age during school when I was young and stupid. I did many stupid and embarrassing things but because of this, I managed to find myself earlier than many others did. Truth be told, many others out there still has not yet found themselves and this is dangerous. Why?

A classmate of mine, a guy. He is the type of guy who follows the rule and goes to school everyday, known as the "nice dude" in the perspectives of many. BUT... When he entered matriculation, he encounters a situation where he has the awesome amount of freedom and he can practically do anything he wants. Hanging around with the wrong people (guys have the tendency to be attracted to do bad things), he himself joins them. He suddenly did all the bad things to an extent that he was thrown out from matriculation. Enjoying himself too much I'd say. This is because he has not done any of this during school, thus making him excited like crazy as he enters his "rebellious day".

This is the kind of stuff we do not want people to encounter. Just because they didn't encounter this "rebellious age" when they were young, they screwed over with their life when maturity is most needed, the age when you enter university.

But, this is not the main reason why I write this post. The main reason I want to write this post is to simply state how LOSER-like it is to actually see dudes who encounter this "rebellious age" during school and are STILL in their "rebellious age" even until now. I mean, how STUPID can these dudes be? How long does it require before you soon realize what you are doing is stupid? People like this often try to find an escape tunnel to distract themselves from reality by finding drama's all over the place. Too caught up in their silly "rebellious" act to an extent that it involves the family being worried with them. Too stupid to see how stupid they actually are to an extent that they try to convince others that their stupid actions and their stupid ways of living their life is actually interesting and good. It is LAME and STUPID.

This kind of people find "maturity" to be a "WALL" that will "BLOCK" you from being who you are. This "maturity" to be the drug that will finally stop you from enjoying yourself, making you a puppet that follows everyday norms. This kind of people thinks that once you enter the age of "maturity", all the crazy things that people don't normally do, you won't do as well because you are already "matured"....

Their definition for "maturity" is clearly BULLSHIT.

Which is why they are "STUPID".

Which is also why they are still "lost" in their journey to find their identity as they prolong their "REBELLIOUS" actions.

Grow Up IDIOTS.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Our New Video XD

2010-06-14T00:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl8kaorFq4I

It took us 5 days to do this video, enjoy~ :D!

My First Random Post

2010-05-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

Many things have occurred lately and each time I encounter something interesting, blogging about it comes to my mind. But then when I sit in front of the laptop, my mind totally goes blank! I was like "What was it I wanted to write about again?" and "Nah, that is not interesting enough for me to blog about". In the end of the day, I kept delaying my blogging activities. I realized this fact and I don't like it. So I finally decided to get my hands moving and just write down whatever that comes to mind. This will basically be my first time writing about random stuff without actually knowing what kind of story I want to start with and in what kind of manner I actually want to end it. Well, here goes~!

FOR THOSE WHO WANTS TO SAVE THEIR PRECIOUS TIME, JUST AVOID READING THE FOLLOWING FOUR PARAGRAPHS. TO HELP YOU DO SO, I SHALL SEPARATE THE PARAGRAPHS FOR YOU. AGAIN, WARNING. TO SAVE YOUR TIME, JUST IGNORE THE FOLLOWING FOUR PARAGRAPHS.

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Owh yeah... Now that I come to think of it, I need to firstly post about how cool a friend of mine named Abdullah Azzam Jamal actually is. Firstly, I need to make things clear, I do not enjoy doing this but I have to do so because I challenged him to do something and he did and now I have to blog about his coolness as his reward. Makes sense? Good... Lets proceed shall we? Why is this guy "COOL" you ask? It would be foolish of me to answer that question without properly introducing him to all of you... Lemme see... He is at my age, he is now currently studying at KUIS (Kolej Universiti Islam Antarabangsa... I think..). This is his link to his facebook profile (http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=100000281060448&ref=ts). This is his link to his blog (http://keyranacool.blogspot.com).

Let me just briefly explain to you guys what I know about him and why is it that he is cool. First and foremost, he does Parkour as well. As a matter of fact, he started doing it as early as I did. He is the kind of person who does not get influenced by others nor is he the type who actually influences others as well. I think it is a fair thing to say because he does not actually influence or encourage anyone of his friends to do something that he is doing. In other words, he is a bit "Unique". We usually meet people who follow the flow of life and obey the norms of the society. But this guy is different and when I say different, I really do mean "different". He is the kind of guy who spends most of his time thinking about things normal people don't usually think about in detail. He meet with a variety of people and from each of them he learn about many things other people do not know about each other. When I say a variety of friends, I mean it. Despite hanging out with friends from all these different backgrounds, he does not wear a "fake mask" when hanging out with them to blend in. Instead, people are fond with him being himself.

When I say he does not wear a "fake mask", I do not mean that he show's his true personality to all of his friends. If he has something to say that he do not agree about to his friends, he either keeps it to himself or does not say so directly. When he hangs around with his friends, even though when he is in a bad mood or in a messed up situation, he does not actually tell nor show how he is actually feeling or what he is actually thinking about to his friends. Maybe it is a kind of barrier he usually creates in order to have a privacy of his own to shape his own thoughts, or maybe he thinks that it is unnecessary to involve such matter with each and everyone of his friends, or maybe he thinks that it is impossible for a mere person to understand his views with words alone, or maybe he's just "cool". Anyways, this guy expresses his thoughts and views in his blog frequently. I suggest you guys visit his blog every now and then. It seems that he has loads of followers due to the fact that he usually write about things that people could relate to and people like it due to his honesty when discussing about certain matters. He also love to write about something that could make people critically think about something.

The only loser-side of him I notice is that he usually ask questions about things in life that makes him think every now and then for example "why am I becoming this kind of person?", but deep inside he already knew the answer. But still, that is also why he is "COOL". THE END!!

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For those who did not heed my warning and read the previous four paragraphs, wasn't that all just a waste of your time? Ish ish....

Okay, from here onwards, I shall write about whatever that comes to my mind! XD!!

Yesterday I heard the music "Baby, baby baby, uuuuu~" on the radio and I just found out that it was one of Justin Bieber's song. Only now I noticed that even though Justin Bieber is currently so damn famous, I don't know any of his songs... In fact, I don't even know how he looks like! The only thing I know about him is that he is a kid who has a voice of a girl.

Yesterday me and my brother and two of my other friends (Siddiq n Acap) encountered a JPJ road block in Putrajaya. Me and Acap sitting behind quickly pulled the seat-belts just to notice that the thing that the end of the seat-belts were supposed to connect to was not there!! It was hidden deep under the seat or something. So we had to think fast and quickly decided to simply PRETEND that we were wearing the seat-belts. Me and my friend used our elbow to keep the seat-belts attached to our self and to keep the end of the seat-belts hidden from the JPJ's view or else they could easily see we were faking it. When we were blocked by the JPJ officers, one of the officer took a look at the seats behind to see if we were wearing the seat-belts properly or not. We kept our cool as one of the officer approached the car. The officer was CRITICALLY and DIRECTLY looking at my seat-belt and was looking at my elbow as well. I thought to myself "Omg, does he see that I am actually faking this? How do I even explain myself?". Then he gave us the signal to pass. YAY!!! Our tactic worked! My brother and Siddiq sitting in front were surprised that we weren't stopped and asked us "Woot? Did you guys pretend wearing the seat-belt?". Then we laughed as we continue our journey to Alamanda to catch a movie. What movie? "Shrek" that is.

When we were waiting for the movie "shrek" to start, we wasted our time by capturing our photos with the movie ads posters nearby. Here is one of the four pictures we took! It is simply a dream come true... To hold hands with Freddy Krueger was definitely one of my "100 Things To Do Before I Die" list! To think that it came true... He was very friendly. XD. After that we went to the nearby arcade and played a game of capturing fishes in a pond using a net played by four of us at once (Yeah, I know, so lame, but it was quite interesting.. At least multi-player was enabled). Of course it was all simply virtual.

Also yesterday, before I went to the movies, I accompanied a friend of mine to renew his license and Road Tax. As we were waiting in the post office to pay the Road Tax thingy, I saw many "Epic Failures". As usual in places like this, there is a machine that allows us to collect our numbers for our turn to be printed on a paper by simply clicking a button (I really do think there is something wrong with my sentence here, but I am too lazy to figure out the correct one :O). There is an explanation written on the machine which further explain what button A is for and what button B is for. In that explanation itself, it gave the image of button A and button B in a circle as an example. The actual button for both is actually located on the right side of the explanation thingy. As I waited for Siddiq's turn, I noticed many people actually pressed the icon in the guide thingy instead of the real button on right side of the guide itself. They were actually confusing real buttons with fake icons. I noticed a guy pressed the fake icon and said "Eh? Kenape tak boleh?" and another guy said "Eh!?" and another girl being confused but quickly realized her mistake. Luckily no one actually made a fool of themselves to an extent of asking for other people's assistance. Epic Fail, lol...

Believe it or not, I actually tried to search for an image of "fake seat-belt" via Google so that it would enable me to upload it here in my post as an example that shows me wearing a seat-belt in a fake manner. But all I see was reports saying "Fake seat-belts manage to lie to the police, but not the Grim Reaper", "A driver died crashing his head first due to his fake seat-belts used to lie to the police" and many other reports that says the same thing. What I did was... I quickly closed the tab. Wee~

When I was little, I usually encounter a flu. Most of the time my nose was unable to breathe air or smell properly. Therefore, most of the time it made me think... What happens if a person kidnap me for a ransom and as he was doing so he wraps my mouth with a cellophane tape? Being a fragile kid as I was, I will be unable to breathe through my mouth and my nose! That would be the death of me and the kidnapper would not even know it! Does this ever came across your mind before or is it just me? :O!!

Do you guys know about the "No Plastic Bag Day" every Saturday? I bet you guys do. Do you guys know that if you insist that you want to use plastic bag after buying something from a shop such as 7-Eleven, you will need to pay another extra RM0.20 for every plastic bag? I bet you do. Well, last week when I went to a 7-Eleven in Shah Alam for a Gym session I noticed a guy was lining in front of me so I had to wait for my turn to buy something. After he paid for his stuff to the cashier, he then quickly asked for a plastic bag after he noticed that he was not offered a plastic bag. Then the cashier said "You need to pay RM0.20 please". Then the guy who asked for the plastic bag suddenly looked at the cashier in disgust and said "Heh, awak nie nak berniaga..." in an irritating manner and then refused to pay as he walked out the shop while carrying his stuff he just bought... I was like... Is this guy for real? Is he really that kind of an idiot? Doesn't he know about the "No Plastic Bag Day"? Even if he doesn't, it is clearly written there near the counter to begin with... What a complete moron...

Yesterday I went to a restaurant called "Red Wok" for the first time. At first I thought it was another one of those cheap restaurants you see located on the side of the road. But I was WRONG. The foods served there were expensive and the quality was nice as well. They serve sea foods with exquisite taste such as Shark Fin Soup and they also offer a Buffet~! Ice creams were also available aside from everything else. The best part about the restaurant was that we were able to COOK FOR OURSELVES!! They had all kinds of seafood and meat that has been cut into small pieces so all you need to do is grab it and steam it, sizzle it, or do whatever you want with it. The thing that allows you to cook your meal was provided at the center of your table. I took what I wanted and it was then that I noticed, I took only one type of food and it was meat... I just noticed that I really really really do not actually enjoy eating variety of foods that much compared to other people. In fact, I don't actually enjoy what I eat and when I eat... As long as the food does not taste bad, then its okay with me. I eat and eat, and then I get stuffed. I don't actually enjoy the process that much :/.

Do you guys know about the existence of "Kawanlah.com"? I shall assume that you guys don't... Do you guys want to know what is it? I'll tell you what it is! It is the Malaysian version of "FACEBOOK"!! Yes! Arinah told me about it as she was making fun of a guy who she knows about who so happens to be playing kawanlah.com instead of Facebook. At first I didn't bother to look it up on the internet. But yesterday she talked about it again so I decided to look for it. It was soooooo FUNNY!!! XD!!! In facebook you have the option to "poke" someone... But in Kawanlah.com you are provided the option to "hug", "kiss" and even "BITE" a person! Yes! It is the kind of site where horny kids in school join to flirt with one another. Very very lame.... I joined for fun but Arinah quickly told me to delete the account because she doesn't like it. lol.

Do you guys know the differences between Islamic architecture and Muslim architecture? I bet you guys don't cause I'm awesome! Yesterday I helped out with Arinah's assignment because I am more used to doing assignment instead of her due to the fact that Human Sciences really does very highly focus much more towards assignments compared to Landscape students so I decided to lend her a hand in doing so. She is not used to doing assignments but then her lecturer was quite demanding on them due to reasons I do not know. They had to do an assignment about an article about Islamic design. Her lecturer demanded them to do the assignment but not simply just an assignment regarding the summary of the article or what the article is all about, but also about what we understand about the article. For example, we need to comment about the way the author write the article, the validity of the author's facts and stuff like that. Due to the fact that Arinah was not used to this kind of stuff, she was worried that she was not able to finish the assignment in time. It so happens that I spent the whole day training until night itself so I did not actually have the privilege to help her out since morning. When I came home, I took a bath and then decided to finally start helping Arinah to do her assignment.

But then I noticed "Heroes" was on Astro, I don't actually follow Heroes after the 3rd season but still it was still interesting for me to watch so I decided to watch Heroes for awhile. In the end it was already 11.20PM and Arinah's assignment needs to be finished by tomorrow. (Not really, its just that she is the type of person who wants everything to be finished early). By the time I called her, she was very very worried to an extent of almost bursting in tears because I was not there to help her out all day long, lol. She was like "Ammar x tolong Arinah.. Arinah risau keje x siap tp ama x tolong arinah.. Arinah dari tadi energetic nk buat tapi ama tgk Heroes...". I was like "Alololo, okay okay. Kita buat la nie skrg okay? Knp risau sgt nie?". Then she was like "Sbb tadi arinah energetic nk buat, tapi sbb ama lame sgt tgk Heroes arinah dah xde mood dah... Arinah risau keje arinah x siaaaap... Ama kene tolong jugak... Arinah x retii.....".. In fact, she was almost crying because she doesn't actually know HOW to do the assignment cause the lecturer was so demanding. So I was like okay okay, lets do it!

So I read the lecturer's instruction and then instantly started doing the assignment through Yahoo messenger. I read the 25 pages of article and did a comment about it in various different ways in a critical manner. For me, I liked doing that kind of assignment. It was veeeery eaaasy because we do not actually need to provide references each time we provide a statement! Instead, we can just comment critically about everything and the only reference we need to provide is the sentence from the article itself! How cool is that!? So I didn't actually encounter a hard time doing so since the assignment was only supposed to be 2 pages long (Lol). But the spacing was 1.0 instead of the usual 2.0. So it was like 2x more than the normal assignment, but still, it was easy and entertaining. The article was divided into six different sections. So what I did was I quickly read all 25 pages and chose what I wanted to comment about provided with facts as well. It took me an hour to finish the assignment through Yahoo Messenger.

In the end I noticed something... I was the only one who did ALL the work! I asked her what was she doing while I was reading and thinking of what sentences to come out with... She then said "Arinah tgk youtube~ hihihihihihi~!". At first I was worried so I decided to help as much as I can and did not notice much that she was actually slacking of! So much for worrying. Well, I can't really blame her seeing that she does not know how to do such an assignment. So now that she knows how to do that kind of assignment, she can do it herself next time. At first she was worried like crazy to an extent of crying, then she was happy when I was lending her my assistance, after I noticed I was the one who did all the work as she watches youtube due to the fact that she was clueless on what to do, she was then happy like a kid who received a candy, she was like "Yay yay, thank uuuu~ Yay yay~".. How can you argue with someone like that? Haih~

Anyways, I learned the differences between Islamic architecture and Muslim architecture when I was doing the assignment which I practically had to read the article about it 25 pages long. To make it easy for you understand, I'll make it simple. Islamic architecture is the design that truly reflects what Islam is all about and all the Islamic values... Muslim architecture is the design that are designed by Muslims but does not reflect Islam properly or the design is clearly not reflecting Islamic values. Tadaaaa~! You learn new things everyday, how awesome is that? :D

I am addicted to games that has something to do with statistics.....

I am in love with water... I cannot live by drinking mineral water alone.... Although I do not enjoy eating food, I really really do enjoy drinking water... Tasty water that is, not mineral water and such.

When I remember about the embarrassing things I encounter in life, I smile...

My right wrist still hurts, I still cannot do a normal push up. Mostly because I overused it yesterday when I was training with Siddiq as we were killing time to wait for Abir's advertisement shooting to be over.

From my point of view, it is ironic that normal people find the move "backflip" to be something very cool and very hard to do... But truth be told it is the most easiest flip compared to any other flips.. But it is also the scariest flip to learn compared to others and also the easiest flip to lose due to fear...

Sometimes I really do feel like making weird voices or anything that appears retarded with the new people I meet and make it seem as if it is my real nature and then if they ask me about it I will suddenly freeze my movement as my friends suddenly change their facial expression and tell him/her "That is a very nice thing to say to a crippled person you douche-bag, well done.".

Owh yeah, last week I went out with my mother. She went to a shop to buy something as I decided to stay in the car with my brother. But then my mother was taking her own sweet time to an extent that I was a bit worried so I went out to look if she was okay. But then I noticed she was already on her way out of the shop and went towards the car without even noticing I was walking behind her. What I did was I pretended to be a snatch thief just to see how my mother would react. I didn't make any surprising moves, all I did was I walked next to her and just grabbed her hand bag as she was holding it close to her. She quickly startled! She was in shock and did not move for 2 seconds. She then slowly tilt her head towards me with her wide-opened eyes terrified. All I did was smiled towards her. Lol. Now I know how fragile my mother is and how easy it is for people to actually steal from her. She did not even scream or even hit me as a reaction at all. Now I really need to be there with her each time she goes shopping. In the car she asked me not to do that again and what if she suddenly hits me in the face. I told her that I was simply testing her self-defense reaction and if she hit me, then she would pass the test, lol. I did feel a bit guilty doing so but hey, at least she now knows how dangerous it can actually be to be alone outside.

I don't fancy hand phones. I fancy old style telephone, for real... I just love the feeling of dialing the numbers using this kind of old telephone. :D

I used to hang up on people so fast, I hung up even before they manage to finish their sentence "goodbye" even though they are using their own credit to call me and it was not my money that was wasted. It was simply a habit of mine and people frequently complain to me about that. Now they complain to me about the fact that me and Amir despite the fact living in the same house, we practically do not speak to each other. This irritate them because each time they want me to ask Amir something, I told them to ask him themselves by giving them an excuse that he was very far away from me even though if he was actually sitting next room, weeee~!

I used to think "Chucky" the killer doll was a very scary horror movie. Now it is ridiculously funny.

I used to think that "Popeye The Sailorman" was a very good cartoon that gives a very good influence to kids. But now that I think of it, it influences the kids to fight with each other. It also portray the heroin frequently being kissed forced-fully by Bruno. Not a nice cartoon...

There was once a time earlier this year when I saw an old lady ordering loads of vegetables to eat at a food court in Mid valley, despite the fact that she may be a Vegetarian, I really felt pity for her because she had to eat all that non-delicious veggies just to keep her healthy. :(

I can only study at night and my body works best at night. I cannot wake up early in the morning and I don't like eating breakfast.

I have short term memory and I don't usually speak loudly so it is usually hard for people to understand what I am saying if they do not focus.

I don't like hearing musics all of the time. I cannot sleep nor study if there is music.

I would really like to see how people actually see me as a person in real life in their own personal point of views.

I don't like to eat much food in one go, I like to eat food from to time. In other words, I like to eat food such as biscuits rather than rice.

Owh well, I guess it is enough for now. I'll try to think of something proper to write down next time. :D

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

An Angel Told Me A Story (Part 2)

2010-05-17T06:38:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a long post, sorry~!

Too many things have occurred around me lately... I am having a difficulty to actually spend some of my free time to blog about it because I am too tired to do so most of the time... Well, obviously that is just an excuse I usually come up with to get rid of the sense of guilt I feel from time to time due to the fact that I did not update my blog as frequently as I should and could. I am currently having an irritating discomfort feeling each time I write down a sentence... I read it again and again, but still I do not know what is wrong with the sentence... Even after doing so, I still feel there is something wrong with them... This irritating feeling of discomfort arises each and every time I write down a sentence... I fear it may be due to my grammar and vocabulary getting worse because I have not written down anything for a long time... Or maybe it is just because I have not written down anything for a long time hence making me feel unfamiliar doing so... Or maybe this is all just a dream I am in and everything I have written down will be lost when I wake up... Which also means I have to write down everything all over again once I am awake! NoooOOooOoooOO!! Okay, enough of that, lets move on shall we?

Truth be told, I am actually still quite lazy to update my blog... But apparently some people told me to update them...

Anonymous Person#1 : Hey, it is time for you to update ur blog!
Anonymous Person#2 : Weyh, ckp nk update blog kau! Penipu!
Anonymous Person#3 : Ammar, update la blog! Nk baca! Nk baca!

I have different reactions to each of these people's statement, but ultimately it made me believe that it is about time for me to update my blog for real. Lately I use most of my free time to watch youtube. More specifically, I watch all the videos this guy named "Winekone" post on youtube. For those who are not familiar with these kind of "Vlog", I think you guys should check it out. If you are a little kid or the innocent type of people, I suggest you guys check out the videos from "nigahiga". He is currently the no 1 on youtube being subcribed. If you guys are a bit weird, then I suggest you guys watch the "Winekone". If you guys are completely RETARDED, then I suggest you guys watch all the retarded videos posted by "Fred".... Seriously, I hate his videos... Its irritating...

Anyways, another reason why I decided to post something is because TOO many things has occurred lately! In order to write down about them would actually require me to write in multiple posts... It is ironic because this is also why I am too lazy to start blogging again because I do not know even where to begin... I mean seriously...

1.My encounter with the new-found sport called "Parking" which is apparently and technically a part of Parkour, so it was easy for us to relate. Interesting stuff.

2.The Kementerian Belia Sukan "Hari Belia" thingy show that lasted for 3 long days... What about it? We are practically a part of it and we had to do shows and also performances for some of the Ministers in the event. We did good because the Ministers were impressed by it to an extent that they stood up from their seats just to watch us. They gave us the highest rating amongst other events. Because of that, we were requested to do the show again personally for the Prime Minister which we did. It would really be sad if you guys do not know what is Parkour... Because even the Prime Minister himself know what Parkour is! How do I know about this? Well, he mentioned about Parkour in his briefing, which I believe is awesome because there was no need for him to do so and he mentioned about it in a positive way.

3.I am now officially sun-burned!!! Because of the KBS event.

4.My worst migraine in my life.... I encountered it from 7pm to 2am. It became much more terribly worse from 2am to 4am... The more I sit and the more I lie down, the more it hurts... I felt like vomiting, I tried vomiting, but I can't... I had to practically walk in the middle of the night like an idiot just to calm myself down. I woke up 6.30am in the morning and I had to prepare myself to go and continue my one whole day of performance for the KBS event thingy... It was a struggle, yes it was... But I was cool enough to hide it from others.

5.I fell down painfully hands first, elbow second, shoulder third, back fourth.. On concrete from a vaulting box... Well, I was following behind my brother, he jumped onto the vaulting box and did a flip downwards. I was following very closely to him as I assumed he would continue running after landing his flip. As I was about to initiate my flip downwards, I noticed he was still standing there on the ground where he landed and he did not notice I was behind him. I was already in a horizontal position and I also already jumped a "bit". If I were to continue jumping higher and continue my flip, I would most probably end up kicking my brother. If I did not jump but still continued to flip, I will still kick my brother. So in the end I decided to dive down like an idiot and fell mercilessly on the concrete floor... Luckily it was not during a show, we were simply hanging out to kill time during that moment. When I fell, all of my friends laughed at me. My friend with a camcorder laughed as he recorded me rolling on the floor laughing with them as well. I did so in order to maintain my cool appearance as I pointed towards Amir and said "Why didn't u mooooveeeeeeeeee~". I then quickly got up, went onto the vaulting box to do it again just to show others that the fall was nothing and that Parkour is not a dangerous sport. But my right hand was seriously in pain at that time, I could not move it much and it was practically shivering in pain a bit. But I did the flip anyways and ended up landing in an awkward way because I was not able to swing my right hand like I usually do because it was basically injured thus making my flip look awkward. Then everyone continued laughing as I move along as if the fall was not painful at all... Truth be told... IT HURTS!!! I had to rest for 3 whole days and still I am having a painful reaction when I move my right hand, at least its WAY better than how it felt 3 days ago. I think it would require me another week to fully recover...

These are some of the things I wanted to write down but VOILA~! I summarized them just like that!! Heheheheheh!! Well, not really, there are still WAAAY many more other things that I want to blog about and many other details that I left out......... Not to mention that next week I will attend the "Youth 2010" event thingy to do half an hour performance at PWTC, I wonder if I have the time to actually blog about all these things in detail?...................... Let's not think about that for now shall we? Let the future "ME" worry about that!!! (If my readers do not ask me to write about them, then I will most probably "ignore" writing about it then, hohohohoho~!)

Well, for this post, I am still having a difficulty deciding what to write about.... But first things first! I need to reaaaaalllly explain to you guys why I was not able to blog after all this time! Well... Truth be told... It was like this.....

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I woke up early in the morning. I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I was highly motivated to start blogging about all the things that have been happening around me lately. I went to my laptop and then yelled "Owh yeah!!! I'm AWESOME!!!". But then I noticed... My hands.... They were not energetic like they usually are, its almost as if they refused to type anything... I asked to myself "Hmm...Why is this happening?". Aha! Yes! I then noticed that it was probably because my stomach was empty! I went downstairs and opened the fridge. I noticed there were awesomely large amount of Ice-creams, cakes, sushi, burgers, bread, chips, chocolates and all these other mouth-watering foods. But then I said "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!???? Where the hell are the cookies!? How am I supposed to write my blog without cookies!? I cannot live in a world without cookies! There is no point to blogging without cookies!". I then grabbed my wallet, took the car key and went outside. But... When I went outside... My car was no longer there. It was missing!! I was like... "O... My.... GOD!!! Where is my car!!".

It so happens that my neighbor was watering his plants and he noticed that my car was missing. He said "Oh my God!! Your car is missing!? That is terrible!". I looked towards him and then I replied "Yeah! It's terrible! I mean, seriously! Imagine! All the cookies that I have left in the car is now gone! Now I have to walk myself to the shop to buy myself some cookies~! Bye2~!". My neighbor only looked towards me in disbelieve as I walked away.

I was walking and walking and walking while thinking about my cookies. I then suddenly noticed a ray of light coming towards me from above. In shock, I looked towards the light. I could not believe my eyes, I saw something was floating down towards me... It was too bright for me to see... I covered my eyes using my hands as I helplessly tried to examine what exactly is this source of light? I was surprised even more when I noticed that the thing approaching closer to me from above was actually... I don't even know how to make this sound logical... But... It was a friggin fat Teddy Bear!! I was like... What in the world is going on here??

"Uffff!!" I made a sound as I fell towards the ground because I was suddenly pushed from behind by whom I do not yet know at that time. Before I even managed to get a hold of the situation, I suddenly heard a voice of a girl from behind me saying "Now!! Get him Chubby!!!". I looked upward and then I noticed the friggin fat Teddy Bear was falling directly on top of me from the sky. "UFFFF!!!" Again I made the same sound but in a more painful way because the friggin fat Teddy Bear was now sitting on top of my back. I was shocked... I was confused... But more importantly, the friggin fat Teddy Bear was heavy!

*Munch Munch* *Munch Munch*.... I heard the sound of a person chewing something crunchy... *Munch Munch* *Munch Munch*.... I heard footsteps moving towards in front of me from behind... *Munch Munch* *Munch Munch* I looked in front of me and there I noticed... It was the same angel that troubled me before!! It was the same angel that previously troubled me by wasting my time with her "Wonderland" story and now here she is again... I then complained to her "Oh my God! I never thought you were serious about coming back to disturb me!! I do not want to hear to yo.... What the....? Are You eating my COOKIES!?". "Hihohiho~!" The angel laughed towards me as she was eating cookies in a very "selekeh" manner. "Oh my God! You are very selekeh!" I then told the angel. The angel than replied with a spoiled brat expression on her face "Hmmph! I want you to entertain me! *Munch munch* I found ur cookies in ur car and now its mine~! Its miiinnnnnee~! Hihohiho~! By the way, the Teddy Bear on top of you now is called Chubby! Chubby will not release you until you properly entertain me!".

I complained to the angel by saying "Why should I entertain you? I have many other things I want to do. Owh well, its useless talking to you, I'll just give in this time... So, what kind of new original story have you come up with now?". The angel then replied "I don't have any story.". "What do you mean you don't have a story? I thought you told me that you would think of a new story and then come down to bother me again." I asked the angel. "I didn't manage to come up with a new idea, it is very hard to create a story... I was bored so I decided to come here and ask you to entertain me instead!" the angel replied. "Whaaaaat!? How am I supposed to entertain you? You spoiled brat!" I asked the angel. "Tell me a story! *munch munch*" the angel replied. "I refuse~!" I told the angel. The angel then suddenly showed me her sparkling beautiful eyes as slowly her tears started falling down her cheeks as she says "Waaaaaa~ waaaaa~". I then said "Alololo~ Sorry sorry~ Okay okay, I'll tell you a story.". The angel then stopped crying as she concentrates to hear to my story.... Okay... Lemme see.... Hmmm.. Okay... The story goes like this...

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Somewhere in a place near you, there is a guy named Alex. He is a very nice guy, very passionate, very kind, something you rarely see nowadays. His best friend is a girl, who so happens to be his friend since his childhood. Her name is Adrianne, the type of girl who have the most beautiful smile and the most beautiful eyes people could not help but to notice. From childhood to adulthood, Alex was always there to guide her. Adrianne managed to stay single all this while due to Alex guidance as he frequently warns her about how dangerous a guy can actually be. Alex never thought of Adrianne as his younger sister, nor does he thought of her as someone he is attracted to, but more towards the type of person he must take care of. They are always together as they take great care of each other. Adrianne usually makes a meal for Alex although he frequently ask her not to go through such trouble everyday, but she loves to do so. They are now an adult and are studying in the same University. Previously during their childhood, they had another best friend named Harold. They were always known as the Trio! But then Harold had to go overseas because of his father's occupation.

One day, Alex got to know that his long lost best friend is going to return to the country and study at the same university Alex and Adrianne were in. They hang out together and talked about all the great time they spent together. After a few weeks of hanging out, Harold then asked Alex, does he have any kind of feeling towards Adrianne? Alex said noo! What kind of nonsense is that? Harold only smiled and said relax. But after Harold asked Alex such question, Alex began to look at Adrianne differently. He began to look at Adrianne as other normal girls around him and it was then that he noticed that he was actually attracted to her. He began to act awkwardly with Adrianne each time they hang out together and because of that Alex tried to reduce the time they hang out together in order to actually understand what is it that he is actually feeling. At first he felt that such feeling was not something that he should feel towards Adrianne, it was not right. But then he thought maybe it was okay to feel that way, but he tried to reject such feeling and tried to avoid Adrianne as much as possible. During that time, Adrianne spent more time with Harold seeing that Alex no longer hang out with her most of the time.

After months or so, Alex noticed that his relationship with Adrianne was no longer as close and natural as it used to be. He didn't know what to do and decided to let time do all the work as he ignores the situation. One day, he hang out with his friends. One of his friends suddenly stated that he was in love with a girl. Alex only smiled and asked him, so whats the problem? His friend said that he fear that the girl won't be single forever so he wants to confess to her tomorrow. Alex tried to change his mind and said come on, whats the rush? You better think first before you do things you might regret. His friend looked at him in the eye and then said time? Do you really think time is on ur side? Do u really think you can take as much time as you want and then waste it by carefully thinking before making a so-called wise decision? Man, seriously... Alex somehow was a bit influenced by his friend's words due to how serious his friend actually said those words. He then started thinking about Adrianne. Was time really the solution to this situation he is having? Should he simply take his own sweet time to make sense of what he was actually feeling? He knows that he is attracted to her... But still the feeling was quite overwhelming for him to fully comprehend. He tried to calm himself down by arguing with his friend by saying come on, what's the worse could happen? You might regret it if you confess to her too early man. His friend then said that the only thing that he would regret, is by not telling her how much he loves her.

At first Alex was drowned with his ego, he refuse to accept his friend's words. But as time passes by, he thought to himself that maybe he should just tell Adrianne how he feels, and then see how it goes from there. Alex told his friend that he decided to confess to a girl, but he does not know what to say. His friends were happy for him. But then one of his friend said something that actually made Alex realize, reality was not as sweet as you thought it is and that the world does circle around you... His friend said "Alex, it is about time for you to confess to the girl you like! Whoever she is! Come on, you can do it! Even Harold himself is now with Adrianne! I admire his bold personality! But that personality just got him Adrianne a week ago!"...................... The only word that Alex could think to himself at that time was........... what?

Yes, time was not Alex's friend.... Reality is not as sweet as u think it is... Life is not something that you can actually plan by taking ur time in leisure thinking of what you should do step by step... Life is something that sometimes require you to go against the flow, and do the thing that you don't usually do. Sometimes you just have to do spontaneous decisions in order not to be left behind. Left behind by time...... The end....

**********************************************************************

"The end! So how was it? Did you like it?" I asked the angel. The angel cried and then asked Chubby to hit my head repeatedly. I asked the angel "What was that for!?". Then angel then said "No no no!! I don't like it!!! It is soooooo saaaaaad! Your story is dumb! I told you to entertain me not to depress me~! Hmmmph! I will continue your story!! Okay, listen listen... This is how the story continues...".

**********************************************************************

Alex became depressed after knowing that Adrianne is now no longer available for him to confess his feelings. She is now currently in a relationship with Harold. After all this time, Alex was the one who takes care of her and prevented her from having a pointless relationship with guys who are still not matured. But now all of that has changed because of the stupid action he decided to choose which is to simply avoid her for the time being and to simply let time do all the work for him. Yes he was confused about his feelings. But was that reason good enough for him to actually "avoid" Adrianne? Whatever it is, that action itself is the reason why he lost Adrianne and only now will he learn how cruel reality can actually be. We cannot fully control each and every elements of our life, we cannot fully control its path and obstacles. We can only make the best of it, and only know Alex realizes that fact, which is a bit too late....

No matter how many times you think about this, there is simply no simple solution to such matter. Firstly, it is never a good thing to disrupt people in a relationship. But that can be usually argued by saying that you are confident enough that you are more capable of making her happy and that you are meant for her. However, how do argue using such statement when the guy who is currently having a relationship with the girl you love, is your best friend since childhood?....... Only during time like this, when all hope is lost, can a person actually rely on time and see how thing works out.... Or is it?

One day, when Alex was hanging out with his friends, he saw Adrianne. Unable to convey his feelings to her, he decided to continue avoiding her due to the fact that he simply wants her to be happy... Even if the state of her being happy, is actually being with another person... He loves her so much, but that was not a reason good enough for him to butts in her relationship. Truth be told, even he himself thinks that he is not good enough for her. However, Adrianne noticed Alex and started waving as she come towards him. Not knowing what to do, Alex only decided to wave back. Adrianne spoke to Alex as she usually do with her cheerful beautiful voice asking him why is he so busy lately. Alex only gave short replies to Adrianne to an extent that even she felt awkward talking to him. Alex could no longer bear the awkwardness of the situation, he then told Adrianne that it is much better if they do not see each other as frequently as they usually do. Of course Adrianne complained and questioned Alex why he was acting that way, they spent time together most of the time since childhood. Alex then replied by saying that it is no longer appropriate for them to hang out as much as they usually do before considering that now she is already with Harold. Adrianne was shocked with Alex's reply. She only walked away from him silently, as tears slowly flow down her cheeks.

Why was she crying? Well, most probably because Alex was her close friend since childhood. That is as far as it goes, just a friend and no more. Alex could not bear seeing Adrianne with another guy but at the same time he wishes that she would be happy with the one she loves, therefore the only thing he could do was to end their friendship. At least that could end a bit of his torment.

***************************************************************

"Ummmmmm......." The angel suddenly stopped telling the story as she was having difficulty trying to think how the story should continue. "Well? Then what?" I asked the angel. "Umm..... I don't know... I can't think of anything... Now the story became worse... It's all becuz of uuu.. Ummm.. umm.. uhuk waaaaaa~" the angel replied as she then suddenly broke into tears due to the fact that she could not think of anything to change the flow of the story and instead made it worse. "Awwww, alololo~ Don't cry, don't cry.. You are such a bad story teller.. Okay okay, lemme see... Lemme continue the story... Okay... Here is how the story continues..." I then said to the angel as she quickly stopped crying to focus to what I have to say with her glittering beautiful eyes filled with hope to hear to a good ending towards the story...

***************************************************************

After a few weeks or so, Alex's condition became worse. He could not eat properly, he could not even think properly... His life was messed up... Nothing makes sense anymore... Suddenly his life was all about Adrianne... Suddenly he could not live properly without Adrianne... So suddenly he realizes how much his life is centered around Adrianne and how empty his life is without her... He was hanging out alone at the Mamak stall one day. Not far away from where he sat down, he noticed Harold was walking towards him. The feeling of hatred suddenly arises as he looked towards Harold but he tried to calm himself down. Harold said Hi to Alex. Alex only replied with an mmmm.... Harold asked him why he Alex was no longer hanging around with Adrianne. Alex only replied with another mmmm.... Repeatedly Alex tried to start a conversation with Alex but it was all in vain as his only reply was with another mmmm....

Until finally, Alex could no longer control his emotion. He stood up from his seat and started scolding Harold saying "Shut up!! You don't even know what I am going through here! You do not even know how hard it is for me!!! Don't act like you know me because you don't even know how it is to be me right now!!". Suddenly Harold's eyes were filled with anger as he slowly came closer to Alex. He instantly pushed Alex towards the ground. Alex was ready to fight with Harold but then Harold started scolding him back when he was still on the ground. Harold said "You shut up!! Grow up!! How long does it take for you to realize that life is not as how you perceive it to be! Grow up and be a man already! You're pathetic! I know you love Adrianne, but I want you to know that I love her more than you could possibly imagine! You know nothing about me! You know nothing about how I feel! If you want Adrianne, then you better work your ass for it! Tomorrow is your last chance, if by then you still do not make your move, I plan to take her overseas with me!" he then walked away.

At first Alex felt angry towards Harold's statement regarding the fact that he said Alex doesn't know anything about his feelings. Alex thought to himself that Harold was the one who does not understand anything about the terrible agony he was feeling... Harold was happy... What the hell does he know... He was thinking about starting a fight with Harold but that idea quickly faded away after hearing to Harold's statement regarding the fact that tomorrow he was about to take Adrianne away from the country... Most probably because of his father's occupation. They could not care less about Adrianne not finishing her studies, they are friggin RICH enough to cover that part.

Alex slowly entered the state of thinking that night... How will it be after this? How will the day after tomorrow be when Adrianne was no longer here? Will it be better? Or will it be worse? Should he let it be? Or should he make it worse? Too many questions, but none answered... He then finally took a stand and thought to himself.... "That's it... I've been following the flow of life all this while... It is about time for me to go against it...."... He thought to himself that Harold was a jerk and he was not good enough for Adrianne... He also thought to himself that if he was not good enough for Adrianne, then no one is good enough for her... Even though he is still not good enough for Adrianne, he will try to improve further and further, day by day... It is something that he will surely do for Adrianne...

Tomorrow approaches... Alex waited for Adrianne at the University praying that Adrianne has not yet departed to the airport with Harold... Alex's prayer was answered, Adrianne was there... She was so beautiful... Something that only he could totally appreciate... He boldly went towards her and then instantly told her not to say a thing... He wants her to hear to what he have to say and he only wants her to listen to it all the way... "Shh.. I just need you to listen... I'm sorry for the ways that I have been awkwardly acting all this while... I'm sorry for avoiding you... Adrianne... Truth be told... I am awfully in love with you... I know this may sound weird, but it is simply just something that I need to tell you or else I would regret... I am just a guy, there is a limit to how much regret I can hold... I know that you're with Harold... I just want you to know, I am so dumb to not notice my actual feeling towards you...I noticed it a moment too late... I regret that... I notice... That you are the one that shaped my life to an extent that my life would be empty without you... With you, I feel there is nothing more I could ask for... Which is why I fail to realize this feeling I have towards you.. Now that I am without you, I realize... How empty and sad my life actually is... No matter how much I want to change or deny this fact... I will always be in love you...".

Adrianne could not think of a word to say as she was speechless... It was the kind of non-verbal communication that they have with each other which enables them to know how they feel towards each other... They do not require words to know how they feel about each other... But they require them to make it official... Alex then said "And yeah, Harold is a jerk...". Adrianne then gave out a small laughter. They hugged each other and then Alex asked "Well, what now? It is going to be a pain for me to rival Harold from now on.".

"What do you mean?" Adrianne asked.
"What do you mean what do I mean? You're with him right?" Alex replied.
"Alex... Harold had already went overseas with his father last night... We broke up last night after Harold finally accepts that he could not win my heart." Adrianne told Alex.
".....What do you mean he could not win your heart?" Alex asked.
"At first I told Harold that I love you, but I thought that this feeling is only one-sided... I told him that I don't love him... But he insist that I gave him a chance to make the feeling grow... So I gave him the chance... But the feeling never grew.. And now I am with you..." Adrianne replied with a smile...

Alex only smiled and then continued to hug Adrianne... But then he thought to himself... When Harold told him previously that Alex could not understand how he felt... It must probably be that he meant Alex could never possibly understand how it felt to work his hardest to win the heart of the one he love with everything he got, but still his love is one-sided... After all, Alex didn't even need to try much... Adrianne was already in love with him from the start....

The End...

*************************************************************

"Awwwww~~~!!! Soooo sweeeeet~! Hihihihi!" The angel told me after I finished the story. I then said "Whaaat?? Don't you feel sad for Harold?? I purposely make it that way so that you will feel sad for him.". The angel then gave me a spoiled-brat-kind of expression on her face and said "Hmmmmph!!! I hate new characters who suddenly come into a story~! Plus, one-sided love sucks~! I'm happy that Alex and Adrianne is now together, hihihihi~! This is fun~!". I then said "Whatever..".

"Chubby! Lezzz goooo~! Thanks for the story, I will come again next time once I come up with a good story! This time for real~! Bye2~! *Wink wink*." the angel told her Teddy Bear to get off me and return to the heaven with her as she floats away towards a shining light....

"Noooo!!! Please don't come back!!! And where do you think you are going with my cookies!!" I screamed helplessly in despair towards the angel.

The angel only ignored me as she went away while laughing "Hihohihohiho!! *munch munch*" and at the same time eating my delicious cookies....

(What a childish story, well... What do you expect? I'm awesome~!)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

A Car With No Gas Or No battery... Or Both?

2010-04-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I went to Putrajaya to do the rock-climbing. The place is awesome due to it's safety environment and it's challenging yet efficient challenges it provides to others because of the stages of difficulty available for both amateurs and experts to try. The crashmates provided to cushion the fall were very thick and wide! I went there and I was surprised to see this fact because it seems like a very suitable playground for us who do Parkour to practice there. However, due to our coolness, we decided not to misuse the main purpose of the place. Obviously, it would be irritating for others to see many other people crashing at their place doing different things which are obviously not meant to be done over there. Even I myself would be irritated to see others misusing the place which is originally meant for other things. Therefore, we mostly do the rock-climbing... and sometimes do some flips in between to balance things out. XD

HOWEVER... This post will be entirely about the title has been stated above. Previously I wanted to elaborate about the experience I had regarding the rock-climbing, but something more interesting occurred on the way back... Well, the story goes like this...

We were tired... Our fingers were already weak due to it's over-usage in one day doing rock-climbing. We went back using Siddiq's car. The same car we use to get there in the first place. On the way back, we were laughing as we were examining the pictures we took during that day itself because of the poser-like pictures it appeared to be. Suddenly, Siddiq's car's engine suddenly stopped working. We were like "Holyshit", I don't want to push this car!! So we slowed down the car a bit while shifting the direction of the car towards the left side of the road in order to make it easier for others to go pass us. We even turned on the hazard light. I forgot to mention that the car's engine failed us when we were waiting for the traffic light to go green. The car behind us was stupid, he waited like a moron and did not overtook us. I was like "Woot!? Don't you even notice the hazard light!? What's the motive of the hazard light if others could not comprehend that the car is having a problem!?". The car behind us still persist on waiting for us. Even my friend had to open the window and wave as a signal to the car to move on.

Siddiq turned of the engine and tried to start the engine again. After a few tries he managed to do so. We were like "Pheewh~! Lucky~!". But then after we drove away from there, the car's engine failed us again. Again we did the same method to restart the engine. This situation goes for about another 3 times until finally the engine failed us totally. Siddiq then said "I think it's because the car ran out of gas...".. I was like... WTF!? Why didn't you refill the car's fuel then you over-confident fool~! Then he argued back by saying "It's not my fault~! The car's indication for the fuel thingy didn't blink at all! How was I supposed to know the car was about to run out of fuel~ U fool~". Yes, very high ego he have.

Well, obviously that was the most logical explanation why the car stopped. Because the lights were still available, the water was enough, and the car was not over-heated. Then we decided to push the car towards off the road to make it easier for others to pass us by. At first I was the one who managed the wheel while Acap and Siddiq was pushing the car. At first they pushed like morons and still the car did not budge... I then said to myself "Weaklings~" as I hear Acap complaining "WTF!? Why is the car so heavy!?. I then noticed that I forgot to release the hand-brake. Weee~! So I released the handbrake. They continued their struggle to push the car... They were doing it soooooo sloooooooow!! I got pissed and then I said "Switch lah! So lazy la acap, u control the wheel". Obviously it was because of Acap because his hands were in the weakest condition compared to us all due to the rock-climb thingy. Siddiq was like "I am okay, its just that Acap is already too weak~". So we then pushed the car... It did not even budge at ALL!! We then complained "WTF! Acap! Release the handbrake!". He then released the handbrake. But pressed the brake instead. This goes on numeral times because of the trouble we had communicating with each other, lol. Acap was like "Woot!? You guys told me to press the break, I press la!". Until finally we reached an understanding with each other and managed to push the car successfully.

After we pushed the car. We were clueless as we did not know what to do. Luckily the location we were currently at was near Abudi's house, so we tried to call for his assistance via the phone. He was in UIA PJ, so we thought we could have his brother assisting us instead. We then knew that his brother was on his way back from Serdang, so we had to wait there until his return. We were bored like hell. It was hot and boring. We played around with the camera and then came out with the idea to take pictures with it! Here are some of the pictures we took to express how bored we were! XD!a

As you can see, that was how boring it was. After that we decided to walk to the gas station ourselves to kill time. We left the car behind with the hazard light on so that others could easily see the car and avoid it. Abudi told us via the phone "It is freakin' FAR!! Its not worth it!!!". At first we pondered to ourselves about it, but then the boredom won. So we went there walking in darkness. It was SOOOOO FAAAARRR!! But when we walked, we didn't actually notice how far it was until we finally take a look at how far it actually was again. We walked to the gas station. It was far I tell you... As we were walking there, we noticed how dark it actually was and feared that the cars went through there might actually hit us because that area was known for how crazy people actually drive their car. So we walked and walked and walked... Suddenly we heard dogs were barking and were running towards us. At first we were alarmed but then we noticed they were locked behind a gate, so they could not get out. We tried to ignore those two dogs barking their lungs out. But we then noticed that we could not properly see the fences... So we increased our moving pace just in case the dogs could actually find their way and slip through the fences and bite us. However, I was actually prepared to kick them as self-defense, lol.

We then finally saw the gas station from afar! Wooohooo~! At last! We then continued walking... Then suddenly, Abudi's brother approached us from behind. He was in the car in the passenger's seat with his sister who was driving the car. All that walking for nothing, what a waste of energy, but at least it killed the boredom! So we entered the car and went to the gas station. The car we used was awesome, there were like multiple mini-fans inside the car. I just wanted to mention that even though it was unnecessary, heheh. Abudi's brother provided us the bottle to insert the fuel. At first we thought that RM5 was enough to fill it full. But then it turned out that RM5 only filled a quarter of it... Hoho... So we went back to the car. We filled the gas inside the car, showed our gratitude to Abudi's brother and sister. We wanted to give the bottle back to them but they told us to keep it instead, so nice. Then we went inside the car! We wanted to start the engine, FAILED.... Yes! FAILED!! Awesooome!! Again we tried to think why such thing occur. Siddiq came out with the solution that we need more fuel, RM5 was not enough. However, I told him that it was actually enough.. Until finally, we noticed that the light of the car was dying out... Yes... Due to repeated attempt of trying to start the engine and leaving the car behind with the hazard light on, the car ran out of battery... Nice...

Abudi's brother called siddiq and asked whether the car was fine or was still in the same condition? Siddiq replied it was still in the same condition. Not long after that, Amir came to the scene! Yay! But he is not the savior, he is more like a spectator... Then suddenly Abudi's father came to save the day! He brought the "jumper" to save the day~! However, he was awesomely STRICT! I was practically scared of his behavior, so "garang". At first he told Abudi's brother to open the hood of the car, but it appeared that Abudi's brother had some problem doing so because he does not know how to do so. Then Abudi's father scold him and said "Bukak la depan tu, xreti ke nak bukak hood kerete ke? Tarik je la bwh tu" something like that la but with a "garang-like" voice. Then came the "jumper-device" thingy. He told Siddiq to flash the torchlight properly and told Amir to do the job quickly, hahaha, it was funny seeing such situation from afar, wee~! Then it was complete! Abudi's brother closed the hood of the car and then the side mirror of the car suddenly fell off and went into the drain. Abudi's father then said "Terima Kasih!" to his son. Lol, then his son had to pick it up from the drain. He was very "garang-like" to an extent that I decided not to thank him personally in order to avoid him getting more angrier, lol.

Then the car functioned normally!! Yay!! To put it simply! Siddiq was OVER-CONFIDENT~! Because of him being very confident that the car has enough fuel, the car failed us... This gave me and Acap the trouble of going through things that we did not expect to encounter. We practically had to wait in darkness in sweat. Not only that, Siddiq's action also gave trouble to Abudi's brother and sister as they had to take us to the nearest gas station in the middle of the night. Also, because the car ran out of fuel, we had to repeatedly try to restart the engine and leave the car with the hazard light on to an extent that it ran out of battery. This basically gave trouble to Abudi's father due to the fact that he had to come to scene and help out. Not to mention, Amir was also troubled with although he was not much of a help to begin with.

In the end, I shall summarize this in Malay... Siddiq berjaya menyusahkan kawan-kawan, anak orang, adik orang, abang orang, kakak orang, dan juga bapak orang.... Just because he didn't refill the car's fuel earlier. Yay! So cool~!

ParasIteIsAnExIstence

The Beginning Of Everything

2010-04-19T04:33:00.000-07:00

How I came to be the person I currently am...

How I came to be with the people around me now...

How I came to be learning in the place I currently study...

How I came to perceive things around me in my personal ways...

How I came to be this person all of you know right now....

Is all the result of what happened to me in my past...

Everything I am now is the result of my doings and every single thing occurring around me within the past 20 years...

0 ~ 12 years old

I was a kid who knows nothing of what is happening around me. I was a kid who was living in his own playground. I was a kid who was living in a world of wishful thinking. I was a kid who sits in a car and the next thing I know was I am already in a different location. I was a kid who had a hard time in understanding people for being who they are. I was a kid who was pushed around by both the teachers and the students. I was the kind of kid who did not have the past of childhood many others love to recall about. I was a kid who was totally messed up because of every single thing that was around me. I was a kid who had to struggle to cope up with the reality of life. I was a kid who just so happened to be facing the difficulties in life one thing after another. I was a kid who was alone against the world. I was a kid who was not fortunate enough to live a beautiful life every normal kid deserves. I was me.

I remembered the very first thing I saw when I came to life. Meaning the first time I started to "see" and was able to start "controlling" my body (Its impossible for a person to start controlling themselves when they were still a little baby). I was in a dream, I was riding a horse and the horse was simply standing in a stable held by another man who was controlling it by its side. It was a normal dream. However, I immediately woke up from the dream in shocked to an extent of immediately waking up in a sitting position instead of lying down. I was sweating all over. It was as if I had a terribly bad dream.... After I calmed down, I then continued to sleep. Regardless of how weird it sounded like, that was the first thing I encountered in life. The next morning, I was living my life normally without actually realizing that was the first time I was able to control my life. Everything was so natural and my memory about things around me simply fits in normally. Everything started from there onwards.

I also still remembered some of the silly things I encountered in life when I was little. I remembered singing every now and then when I was happy. I remembered the time when I was playing with my puzzle and then I cried because I thought my brother and sister stole the fragments of the puzzle from me but actually everything was situated under my ass. I remembered having a bad dream seeing the picture my puzzle portray which was my favourite characters being injured beaten up by the evil enemies who looked just like them but meaner. I remembered riding my tricycle going straight towards a lorry without thinking and hit the iron bar or something with my head which then made me fell from the tricycle crying. I remembered having to go through excruciating pain to cut the extra skin from my penis and it took the operation 3x more than my brother took because it was awesomely small, which of course I blame my mother for sending me to do so too early. I remembered the time I fell of a bike when I lost control of my tricycle towards down the hill. I remembered when my head was hit when closing the door of a van. I remembered many other silly things I encountered in life.

However, everything changed when I entered primary school which ended my completely sheltered life. I practically had no friends as I find myself different from others in terms of personality. I also had no interest in learning which affected my life negatively. My teachers usually scold and punish me like idiots as if that was the only solution to such matter which however made it worse because I wanted to skip school and did not pay much attention to what the teachers were teaching because I was afraid of everything they were about to say. I was practically scared most with the Arabic teachers and the teachers who teach Islamic subjects. They were the strictest in terms of punishment and teaching. I actually had no idea why "Jawi" and "Arabic" was different, I only knew the answer to that when I entered secondary school. I didn't know anything about Arabic and jawi be it in terms of spelling and everything else. There was this one female teacher who practically screamed like crazy towards all the stupid students which made it worse, I was MOSTLY afraid of her. She made me feel completely stupid and useless. I was marked as the stupidest kid by the teacher and I had to go through that for the whole 2 years. I swear if I ever had the chance to meet with her again, I would really love to punch her in the face for negatively affecting my life and practically almost ruined my whole future for scarring my perception towards school and completely erased my intention to study even when I'm in the secondary school. This also applies to each and every other teacher who made me feel that way. But luckily I never had that chance.

I had no friends whatsoever, there were times I had friends to hang out with but none of them entitled me as their best friend. I was also bullied by some of the other students as well. This was basically the time of my life where I was totally alone and was bullied by teachers and the students as I was marked as an idiot. I seriously can't explain how terrible it feels like being me back then... To be afraid most of the time... To feel like a useless trash that could not achieve anything... To be alone with no one else to comfort you, understand you or even share any thoughts with you... It was a total length of 5 years of agony being mentally tortured as a kid. Add that with the kind of parents who usually scold and pressure you to have good results... There was actually no place for you to feel comfortable. But I admit there were changes when I was 12 years old, the last year in primary school. It was the only time where I actually enjoyed going to school and had some people that are worthy to be called as my friends. I was no longer bullied by any other student and even my teachers were extremely nice. I felt comfort and fun when I went to school during that time. I believe if this did not occur in my life, I would probably be living a different life rather than living the kind of life I am living now. I could not remember who my teacher was back then, but I am really thankful that she was my teacher. It was the first time I actually studied and got 4A's and 1B for UPSR. This was a high achievement for me, especially for me. These were basically the important factors I encountered in life which managed to shape my character. I believe this is the stage which shaped me into being who I am today by 50%.

13 ~ 20 years old

This was the time when everything about me was changed completely. Previously I was just a kid who accepts every single thing everyone negatively says about me and does absolutely nothing about. But I figured that I had been living my life by following the laws around me all my life and nothing good had I achieved from it. This was during the time I decided to revolt and walk my own path and act according to my own choices. I already encountered painful situations that many others could not simply comprehend, what kind of other painful situation can this "secondary school" inflict to me I asked to myself. Whatever it is, it can't be worse. However, this kind of thinking only took place during my time when I turn 14 years old. It took me a whole year to get used to the school. It turns out that the secondary school I entered was bullshit. Not that I am surprised. Well, this is because my eldest brother Amir was from that school as well. From what I know, he was one of the worst students who revolts the way the school handle things. Every time I heard about him, it must be something about him revolting the teachers and stuff. He was practically well known for his behaviour of going against the school's order. Heck, I was practically surprised being a midget I was before, I had to carry a huge beg pack contained tons of books while my brother went to his school bringing a beg which contains nothing at all.

There was a time when a teacher slapped my brother and my father then decided to come to school to confront him. The teacher pissed his pants because of his cowardice. My father asked him why he slapped my brother. He acted as if he doesn't remember who he slapped yesterday. My father then scolded him by asking how many students did he actually slap yesterday then? The teacher said that he will continue listening to what my father have to say after he finished his class, but it turned out that the teacher quickly ran away after the class was over. The school was supposed to be the place where teachers shape the student into becoming a better person. But from what I see, the school I was in only focus on the students who are already intelligent. The ones who are not performing well academically were treated as trash of the society. They gave no hope whatsoever to these kind of students and frequently label them as trash instead. Is this how people who call themselves "teachers" supposed to treat their so-called students? The only thing I know about them is they frequently complain about their job and kept demanding the students to respect them. With me, it won't work that way. If you want to be respected, then you have to respect me first.

During my form 1, I succeeded in entering the smartest class in school which is called the class of "Amanah". As usual the class system works in alphabetical order to define how stupid we are. During that time, obviously I could not cope up with all the other students who appeared like a geek or a genius in studying with their spectacles on and their study-freak looks on their faces. I only managed to reach that level because of a fluke. I never studied except during my final year in primary school. I spent my form 1 mostly by trying to socialize myself with others. During this year, I did not yet revolt but decided to follow the way of the school and tried to understand how the school works instead. I find it very frustrating when the teachers use the stupid quotation "If other's can do it, then why can't you?". I really could not understand their stupidity... If their quotation is true, then why does the word "genius" even exist in the dictionary? Why is it that everyone considers Einstein a genius if his level of intelligence can be reached by simply "working hard". Why is it a "musical genius" exists even though many other people are struggling like crazy practicing as well. Why is it a person can easily understand certain things faster than other people? If that is not something you call "genius", then what do you call that? Obviously when the teacher teach, certain people can understand it faster than others. People can't change this no matter how much they focus or how "hard-working" they actually are. This is called genius and yet they are questioning such matter. If other people can become a millionaire and a professor, then why the hell are you so stupid and became a teacher instead? Ever asked yourself that question?

During that time, I tried to cope with others but I failed miserably. Everyone was easily understanding what the teacher was teaching and there I was clueless of what was happening around me. In the end, I got last place during exam. When I turned 14 years old, I changed my ways. Because as far as I know, trying hard does not make me happy and it does not make me successful. I went down 2 classes from "A" to "C" which is "cekal". I no longer want to concentrate on studying. I spent most of my time sitting in a corner, analyzing people around me. This was the first time I started to actually analyze people. Before this, I was a midget, a loser, an idiot and unattractive in terms of everything including my personality and appearance as well. I remembered the time when I was walking upstairs and wanted to comb my hair using my hands and the girls behind me laughed at me for doing so. In other words from their point of views it was pointless for me to do so because my hair will still be ugly regardless of my attempt to repair it. The girl laughed and told her friend "Did you see that!? *giggle*", her friend replied in whisper "Shhhh, he might listen...". Obviously they were talking about me because I was the only dude there and there was nothing else to "look" at. I hated people, both the girls and the dudes. I find them to be an irritating existence in my life... I hate the teachers... I hate everyone...

I decided to change my path and do things I don't usually do. I avoided from talking with people. I usually sit in a corner and observe them instead. I tried to understand why they behave the way they are behaving. I looked at the way they look at each other, the way they respond to things, the way they look at the person they love or hate, the way they treat the people they love or hate, the way they lie to people, the way they talk bad things about people and behave differently when they are actually talking to them, the way they mock and make fun of people they find unattractive, the way they compliment the people they like, all the other things as well. I find most of them to be "Hypocrites".... They say bad things about idiotic people and ugly people, but when it comes to the person who looks physically "attractive", they compliment them like crazy regardless of their stupid behavior and idiocy. They treat people they find unattractive as if they don't exist and sometimes even treat them negatively but when they treat the ones they are attracted to they act like an angel. This goes for both the girls and the dudes. I despise them. I decided to observe instead of participating and I learn many things by doing so. I see how pointless people have a "crush" towards each other, confessing to each other and getting into a relationship just to later on break up and repeat the same process. I hate everyone because they are never innocent. I choose to walk a different path and avoid from becoming these "hypocrites" I despise.

I changed myself completely. I changed my hairstyle, I changed my behavior, my way of walking, my way of talking, my way of thinking, everything. I revolt everything. Due to my observation, I noticed a few people who go against the path other people are living their life. In other words the delinquents. I hang around with one of them and with another, to an extent that I unite them together which then make them fond with one another. This was the group that I myself had made consisting of people I find myself comfortable to be with, who are not hypocrites and act the way they are because they want to. The teachers were beginning to perceive me negatively, and was starting to treat me like a delinquent. I come to class late very frequently, I never do my home works because I never pay attention in class and I never respect my teachers. I frequently skip classes and school. At first I started to skip school by hanging outside the school. But then I perceive it to be as a "loser's" way of doing it and how stupid it actually is so then I usually skip school by hanging out in my own house by purposely waking up late or purposely going back to my house by giving any excuses to my mom. But then it was hard to do so, so I decided to skip classes by hanging out in my other friend's classes or by hanging around in the teacher's room, in other words "bilik guru". It's amazing how they can never tell that you are actually skipping class.

I usually go against the teachers because I hate the way they are being bias to students according to their intelligence. I defy them, but I defy them in ways that they can't fight back. In other words, I defy them intelligently, not in a way that they can punish me or spank me as much as they want. I was one of the "smart" delinquents because I defy them but they can't punish me like they punish the other idiots because I was the ONLY ONE who questioned their judgement and actions. Believe me, they were shock to encounter a student like me and does not know how to deal with me. I remembered the time when I had a very strict English teacher, everyone hated her and was afraid of her because of her strictness and because she usually scold people like crazy. Her class starts immediately after recess and she is strictly on time. I still remembered how her first class started during my form 2. At first everyone was scolded one by one because they came late to her class, everyone was terrified by her. No one was allowed to sit until the end of her class. The next day, being ignorant as I was, I did not copy the timetable so I did not know that after recess it was her time to teach my class. I went upstairs after hanging out with my friends. It was our "routine" to hang out during recess longer than we are supposed to. I went upstairs, I was walking by my class and I noticed everyone was standing like idiots. I even noticed some of the girls were looking at me with their terrified face. I then noticed the English teacher standing by the door. I entered and said "Hello" as I passed her and then went to my seat as if I was innocent. She told everyone to sit down except me. She went to my seat and asked me why I was late while everyone was early. It was because of my fault that everyone had to stand like idiots. I argued by saying I was late because I was late and it was not my fault that they had to stand, it was a matter of fact her fault because they were still punished despite their innocence. Became unsatisfied, she told me to call myself an "Idiot". I refused to do so. She told me to do so again. I refused again. She then asked me why I did not want to call myself an idiot. I told her it was because I am not an idiot... Therefore I shall not call myself an idiot. She said nooo, I am an idiot because I came late to her class and that I must call myself an idiot or else I will be forced to stand and she will stand there beside me until the end of the class until I declared that I am an idiot... What a stupid mistake she made lol... I then said "Okay"... I stood there, looking outside the window while ignoring her who so happens to be standing there beside me. After half a minute or so she went back to her table and started teaching while I ignorantly sat down. Instead of making a fool out of me, she made a fool of herself.

I remembered the time when I went to school one day during Friday, I forgot to wear my "sampin" and "songkok" before entering the school but I was still holding them as I enter the school (It was compulsory for the student to wear them every Friday). I didn't wear them, but I planned to wear them properly once I reached the class. As I enter the school, I had to walk pass the discipline room. Standing outside was the discipline teacher. I noticed a dude in front of me, a delinquent to be more precise, he was also not wearing them. Then when he reached the teacher, despite him being a delinquent, he was apologizing to the teacher in fear and was pinched like an idiot. It was painful I can obviously tell. I really don't know how is it that they think they can easily pinch students as long as they want to, it is not mentioned in the school's regulation book, so in other words it is not permissible. I walked there to pass the teacher by and then he tried to pinch me. I was like "Wtf? Dream on fool...". So I hit his hand away as he tried to reach for me and then continued walking upstairs to my class. He was speechless despite his "strict" appearance which means that he was either afraid or he knew that such action was not allowed to begin with.

There was also a time when I was not wearing the school uniform on Wednesday (it was compulsory to wear a uniform on Wednesday) but instead I wear something else which says "Hard-Rock" on my t-shirt. But the colour of the t-shirt was practically the same with the uniform. My "Bahasa Melayu" teacher noticed me wearing such outfit and ordered me to go home. I refused to do so... She then told me to go report to the discipline room and said if I didn't, she will report it to the principal. So I went to the discipline room. The discipline teacher was very cocky. He told me that I was in big trouble. I was like "Who does he think I am? An idiot?". So I told him that I mistook the shirt for my uniform because the colour was the same. He said that I was lying. I said that I wasn't (of course I was lying). He said that he could not believe me because many other students have lied to him. I then said that it was none of my business, my situation has got nothing to do with them. He told me that what I am providing him is simply an excuse without evidence, so he can't trust me. I then argued and said it is your job to believe what the students have to say, I am already telling you the truth, if you can't believe me, then it's your problem, not mine. He became angry and hit the table with his hand and shouted "Kurang ajar!". I was like, no I am not, I am simply telling you the truth. He was afraid to punish me physically because he knows I can argue with him and make it sound as if he was guilty. He then sarcastically told me to go to the principal and said "Pegi la jumpe pengetua, pengetua kan lagi besar dari saya". I then said yes, he is much bigger than you, therefore I shall settle this with him instead. He was frustrated and it was my win. I went to the principal, puts on my innocent face, gave the same excuse, and it was accepted. I went back to the class. The teacher scolded me and told me to go home. I told her, the principle himself told me it is okay, who the hell do you think you are to order me around? XD! Frustrated, she then continued teaching.

In short, there were many other incidents that I go through which then made me well-known for my status as a delinquent. For example, I started doing "parkour" with a friend of mine, and we used it to do vandalism at school. But not all our vandalism were bad, some of them are actually good for the school. For example we once climbed the school's hall exterior, and sprayed the walls. Normal dudes can't climb the wall so people had no idea how people reach there. We were not much good at graffiti, so what we did was basically writing words instead. Not foul words, but our favourite words such as "parasite" and stuff. It was ugly, but at least it was not a negative word. Every day we sat outside the school in the middle of a road people use to pass by and look upon it and be proud of it. The elders looked at it and only smiled due to the fact that it was quite funny. The school painted the hall to cover the sprays and it basically made the school into a much more beautiful place, all thanks to us! I don't know why, but some of the students actually fear me as if I had many "bad" friends to beat them up. Of course I had those kinds of friends, but I'm not that kind of person. The weird thing was, due to my rising hormone, instead of being a midget and ugly as I was, I had grown and became somewhat attractive, LOL (not being prasan, please bear with me...). So girls were starting to notice me, the very same girl who laughed at me when I was repairing my hair the stair started to treat me differently. Somehow people were starting to notice me and were attracted to me and my cousin who so happens to be in the same school and also being a girl, kept on informing how my name is starting to be in the girls topic of conversation. My cousin was quite famous due to her friendly nature so she had a very wide connection of friends. But being the dude I was, I hated it. Just because my appearance changed a bit and I became a bit taller, everyone was treating me differently, just because of my appearance? Now my stupidity was somehow acceptable? Even my delinquent activities are acceptable? I hated their way of looking at things and their way of judging people. The girls became interested with delinquents, what for? What a pointless relationship that goes nowhere and will certainly not last even a year, what about marriage? pffft, impossible. I hated these hypocrites who judge people unfairly. I don't mind if they treat the one they like positively, but why do they have to treat the ugly ones or the stupid ones negatively despite them doing nothing that affects them? I hated them.

Well, it was not that I intentionally became a delinquent without any apparent reason aside from my personal experience back in primary school. It was also because I was already "marked" by the discipline teacher because I was Amir's little brother, so they thought I would be a delinquent as well. I hate them for stereotyping people, so I gave them what they expected of me, but at a higher level. I hated the teachers, I hated the students. This goes on until I almost turned 16 years old. During this time of year, all my delinquent friends blamed the school for their stupidity, but truth be told it was actually because of them themselves, not the school. All of them went to transfer to a different school. When I say all of them, I really mean ALL OF THEM. I became all alone. I was like "wtf, now who do I hang around with?" But I pretty much didn't care because I hated hanging around with other people. I entered my form 4 and everything started to change. Well, truth be told, my relationships with my delinquent friends were starting to become awkward anyways. Because I can't go out to hang out as often as they do, they pretty much hang out each and every day and night. The next thing I know was that they are starting to become more stupid and doing ALL the stupid things. Despite the fact that I am a delinquent, I know my limits. So it was actually good that they transferred school. It's just that now, I had no one to hang out with. So I became all alone again.

This was the time when I started to hang out with friends who I am still hanging around with until now such as Siddiq and Acap. Due to my observing habit, I find them to be the kind of people I like to hang out with. So I approached them and became friend with them, they are nice people and it turns out to be that my observing skill is truly AWESOME because its true. Acap was from a different class, I was previously in his class before I transferred to another class where Siddiq was in. At first I hang around with Acap, we made an assignment of designing something new for the world in terms of technology. We invented a "ring" which PAWNS everything and can even ridicule the Iphone. Basically everything can be done with the ring. Communication, information, entertainment, hologram, you name it. Then I transferred to Siddiq's class. In this class, I started to become interested in studies for the very first time... An English teacher of the class told every new transferred classmate to stand in front of the class to introduce themselves in English, including me. That was the very first time I had to speak in English. I never spoke in English during conversations but somehow I was quite fluent speaking it. Which is weird.

Everyone suddenly perceived me as the "intelligent" student just because I could speak in English well, which I find to be weird and unfair because that pressured me to study in order to live up to their expectations. Their expectation raised even more after I presented a presentation of mine in English. The English teacher also treated me extra special compared to the rest because of my English which I find to be bias but I was okay with that since many other students does not even put an effort to study English. During my presentation the teacher suddenly told me to present the presentation of the 3 girls before me as a summary before I started to present my presentation, which I fluently presented. I was quite proud of myself because I didn't know I could speak in English well before that. It was my first time. I was then sent to become one of the dudes to enter the English debate competition as a school representative but I asked the other dude who just transferred from UK to compete so that I could just become a spare, weee~! I communicated with him and there were two senior students of mine who speaks in English 24 hours type of person, when they heard me speaking they were like "Is he speaking? I'm amazed". I was like, at least whisper to yourselves la so that I could not hear you guys. Do I look that stupid? But that's how the way it is in my school. Those who could speak and write are simply considered as one of those "intelligent people". I still do not know how is it that I was able to speak and write acceptably. Writing I could accept because I play games frequently, but speaking? People even say that I have my own accent which I don't think I have, even until now. Well, whatever it is, I am thankful that I could do well in English without properly practicing it. I actually became the English President for my School club, so cool I am, lol.

Due to people's high expectation of me, I started to study and perform in my studies. People no longer perceive me as a delinquent I previously was. Even my cousin said some people were shocked to notice me studying and becoming a nerd instead of a delinquent. I actually managed to score higher than the 3 genius nerds in my class several times in exams. The fun part was noticing how shock they became each time I score higher than them, =P. I started to focus doing parkour as well, because Amir forced and dragged me into it after he was motivated to see another Malaysian dude doing it on the Internet. I then dragged Siddiq and Acap to join it as well. I dragged Siddiq to join by insisting to borrow his camera. Acap I dragged to join by telling him to participate with me and Siddiq to do an assignment regarding a book assignment entitled "The science of movement", we won 1st place! I think Siddiq and Acap continued to become interested with it because other people in school recognize it as something cool. This was how we continued to do what we are doing even until now, to an extent of basically representing Parkour Malaysia. When I think about it, it is actually a very high achievement, but most of the time I pretty much just ignore it.

I practically started to study like crazy after my result for Modern Maths suddenly became worse than Siddiq... He actually became motivated and studied like hell after that. His motivation scared the hell out of me which then motivated me to do a study group with Siddiq and Acap. Much funny stuff occurs regarding to learning such as the study group we had together. I was very motivated, I had a whiteboard and we all discussed the question and answer together one at a time. There was a dude we call "John", he was really the irritating guy who really spoils our mood to study because he was so arrogant and said Modern Math is too easy but in the end he couldn't even score an A for SPM. I really do not know how he became Acap's close friend during that time. I also remembered the time when I had home tuitions with Siddiq. They were all funny memories. Can you even imagine how we skipped HOME tuitions? Yes, we are that skillful... Mostly because we were not able to finish the homework, because the homework was very hard... Because of all these studies we had together, I believe it was the main reason we managed to enter UIA together. Although we did not even plan to enter it in the first place, nor did we plan to enter any institution together. It simply happened accidentally or in other words coincidentally.

During this stage of my life, everything was starting to become okay... My academics, my friends, my teachers, my life... Everything was slowly turning out to be great and perfect... All things that I have learned, I learn because of all the pain I had to go through and all the great things I was blessed with. The guy I have become today is the result of my past.. It is difficult for someone to just simply interpret and understand me correctly, because truth be told, I am complicated, especially in my ways of thinking. Because of my past, it helps me in overcoming the challenges I have to go through in the future without becoming confused or emotionally unstable because I have faced cruel harsh times and spent most of my time simply observing and understanding people around me, enough to make myself ready.

Many other things happened to me that I can talk about, but I think it is too much to be shared with others... And some things are better kept to myself... My life in UIA and everything happening in between... I'll keep it to myself... What I know is that, I am the product of the struggles I had to go through in the past... I wouldn't change a single thing about me... But I wouldn't want to do it all over again as well... I am what I am today because of everything I do and did during the past of these 20 long years of my life...

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ParasIteIsAnExIstence / AmmarHaidhar

An Angel Told Me A Story

2010-04-16T23:21:00.000-07:00

It was a day, like any other day, nothing out of the ordinary. The sun rises emitting its ray of light and the clouds floating by, absolutely the same like any other. As I was walking around, suddenly a ray of light came to me from above. In shock, I looked towards the light. I could not believe my eyes, I saw something beautiful coming towards me... It was an angel! I was awed by the angel's beauty... Her attractive glittering eyes, her skin as white as the freshest snow and her innocent appearance like no other... It rendered me speechless.. The angel's smile took my words away and I swore that she almost took my breath away as well... But... Something very unexpected suddenly occurred... Her innocent-like appearance suddenly faded away after she gave me this weird way of laughter... It sounded very donkey-like, "hihohihohiho~!". I was like... "Oh my god! You are very selekeh!". She then showed me a facial expression we usually see coming from a spoilt brat. "Hmmph! You mere human! I want you to entertain me!" the angel suddenly ordered me around. I was like "Woot!? Entertain yourself! I have many other things to do you poyo-like creature~!". Then the angel suddenly cast a magic spell upon the ground I was standing on... Something that appears like the roots of a tree suddenly appeared and entangled my legs where I stand. I was shocked as everything was happening too fast for me to actually comprehend! Then the angel floats in front of me and said "Sucks to be you, now you have to hear to a story written by me~! It is very original! No humans can produce a spectacular story like this one I made~! The story starts like this...".

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Once upon a time there was a girl, she came to a place called the "Wonderland". As she was walking around the Wonderland, a ladybug appeared in front of her. The ladybug was Huuuuuuggeee! Well, not that HUGE... It is a size of the palm of your hands.. The lady bug suddenly sang to her with its awesomely cute voice "Hye hye girl~! Welcome to Wonderland~ Wonderland~ Welcome welcome to Wonderland~!". The girl then asked the ladybug "Are u a ladybug or a ladybird?". The ladybug suddenly became shocked! It was sweating all over as it seriously think about the answer to such question... "Oh my god! What am I!? A ladybug or a ladybird!? I don't even know myself anymore! NoooooooOOooooooooOOO~!!!" the ladybug then screamed in confusion and sadness at the same time.. Then the girl said "Calm down, its just a joke.. If you are from British, then you should call yourself a ladybird.. If your from North America, then you should call yourself a ladybug... Its the same thing but simply with different terms... Its like aeroplane and airplane you see... Voila~! As simple as that~!". The ladybug then sighed in relief... But AGAIN! The ladybug opened its eyes widely in shock and said "Whaaaaaat!??? But I'm from WONDERLAND!!! What should I call myself!!!!! NoooooOooooOOoo!!! I'm a loser!!! Waaaaa!!". Then the girl calmed the ladybug by saying "Relax, relax!! Let's just call you a ladybird, because you surely speak in the British accent, so your a ladybird..".. The ladybug STARES the girl and said "What do you mean I have and accent? I don't have any accent...". "You do have an accent.." The girl replied. "No I don't.." The ladybug then insist... "Yo do have an accent..." The girl then argued.. "I don't have any weird accent! Don't lie to me!!!" The ladybug then emotionally screamed. "No no no, I didn't say it was weird. It was British for God's sake... Owh well, who cares. Anyways, can you help me? I need to find a guy, a prince to be exact.." the girl asked. The ladybug instantly calmed down and then said "Owh!! Of course! Follow me!!"....

But the ladybug was extremely slow... Every step the girl take equals to 1000 step the ladybug take... Every 2 step the girl took, the ladybug became exhausted and dehydrated and went to the nearby well to drink. After the girl reached the 1oth step, the ladybug then collapsed!!! It was dehydrated! Its whole body was dried up due to exhaustion... "Sorry... I do not have the energy to go on.... Forgive me..." it said before it passed away... The girl took the ladybug and carried it by putting it on the palm of her hand and then later on puts the ladybug on a nearby stone.. She cried as she was looking at the deceased ladybug... Then suddenly the leaves around the Wonderland flew and gathered around the ladybug... The lady bug emits a glowing light from its entire body and then flew up towards the sky.. In other words to heaven...

The girl then walked alone to find the prince... As she was walking alone, she came across a pencil... It was NOT just any ordinary pencil! It was a FLYING and a TALKING pencil!! "Wazzup~! Where are you going hotness~?" the pencil asked the girl. "I'm going to find the prince" the girl answered. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!? Hell no baby! You better not hotness!" the pencil stated. "Huh!? Why not!? The ladybug said I can!!!" the girl argued... "Wait a minute... I thought it was a ladybird... Its a ladybug? I'm confused.. Anyways, its not that I want to stop you, but the prince is being kept captive by the Evil Queen!! Her name is Queen Fatimah and she does not allow anyone to get near the prince!" the pencil replied. The girl then confidently said "I have come so far, I won't give up!". "You only took around 10 step in Wonderland and you said that is far?Anyways, if you persist, you will surely die hotness!" the pencil replied. Both of them argued with each other continuously until the pencil gave up... "Okay okay, but you have to be ready!" The pencil told the girl. "Ready? How?" the girl then asked. The pencil then cast a magic spell that goes like this "I am coolness... I am hotness... Answer my call and protect this girl!". The spell summoned an eraser, ruler, paper and all the writing materials you can think of. The pencil said that the girl should be grateful because they all came to help her. The sharpener then leads the way to the prince.

After half an hour, the girl became tired... They then decided to rest on a rock located somewhere near a pond. The girl looked at her own reflection on the water and sighed. The eraser approached the girl and asked her "Why do you want to see the prince?". "Because he is the love of my life.." the girl answered. "Owh how sweet, lucky bastard that dude is... I mean, what a lucky guy~! Just ready yourself okay? Because the Queen is a one crazy bastard! Owh I mean, she is crazy!! She forcefully kidnapped the prince and kept him captive because she is obsessed with him!" the eraser replied. "Okay, I will..." the girl replied.

They continued walking until finally they reached the castle... Suddenly a gust of wind went towards them and all the writing materials panicked and screamed for help. The girl quickly grabbed each and everyone of them and insert them safely in her front pocket. "Thank you hotness!" all the writing materials said to show their gratitude. "Your welcome" she replied. They entered the castle slowly and silently in stealth... But suddenly all the torches attached to the wall inside the castle started to light up one after another! "MUAHAHAHAHAHHA!!" a loud laughter was suddenly heard. The sharpener told the girl the woman who was laughing was the evil queen herself and then it quickly hid itself into the girls pocket in fear. The girl confidently comfort them and said not to worry as she march towards the Queen without fear. Standing in front of them was the EVIL QUEEN HERSELF!! She was very huge!! Ever watched the evil dragon from enchanted? Yeah, that is how big the evil queen is. "WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE PRINCE YOU SMALL CREATURE!?" the evil queen asked. "He is mine!" the girl answered. "HOW DARE YOU!?" The evil queen shouted and then slapped the girl. The girl however remained strong and said that she was not afraid of her.

Then the girl suddenly noticed there was a cage behind the evil queen. In the cage itself was the prince she was looking for! The prince's clothes was torn here and there and he appeared in an extremely weak condition. The girl shouted for the prince's name. The prince noticed her voice and then instantly told her to save herself and run away. But the girl insisted on continuing to fight the Evil Queen. As she was fighting the evil queen, the writing materials from her pocket silently slip away to go towards the prince. They were holding a seed and was offering the prince to eat it. At first the prince was frightened! "What the hell!? Why can you guys talk and fly!? Where are your mouths!? Your eyes?! This is illogical!!" the prince screamed. They tried to convince the prince that they are nice and the seed was actually to replenish his energy, but they failed because they are a freak of nature and the prince believe that if he eats the seed he will die due to poison or something.

As the prince was refusing to eat the seed, the girl was being beaten by the evil queen... "Please! She needs you!!" The writing materials begged the prince. "MUAHAHAHA!" the evil queen laughed as she beats the girl and threw her towards the floor. Then the prince finally ate the seed because he had no other choice but to do so in order to help the girl he loves. The seed he ate was miraculous! Its like the seed we see in dragonball where it instantly replenished your energy to the max. The prince kicked the cage open. He ran towards the evil queen and did a tornado kick right towards her ugly face! "PRINCE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? I LOVE YOU LONG TIME~!" the evil queen shouted. "The feeling is not mutual you ugly fat ass freak!!" the prince replied. The Evil Queen then was suddenly casting a spell and was about to do some sort of magic that allows some sort of magic to appear from her hands like the things you see in dragonball or streetfighter. But before the evil queen managed to do so, the prince ran towards the evil queen and did a sideflip over the queen and then kicked her ass as hard as he could. The evil queen was kicked so hard that the impact of the kick itself threw her into the cage the prince was previously in. The kick was so strong that even the castle was about to fall asunder. The prince carried the girl and ran out from the castle along with the writing materials as the evil queen screamed from behind the bars "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!". The castle fell mercilessly on the evil queen and ended her life just like that.

The prince took the girl to a garden that is full of flowers... They are... BEAUTIFUL... So colourful.... Mesmerizing to be exact.. The prince gave the princess the same seed he ate before which replenished his energy... The girl was slowly getting healed and better as she was looking towards the prince's eyes as the prince was holding her closely towards him... They looked towards each other... Smilingly.. They slowly shortens the distance of their faces with each other... And then.. They finally ki-

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay okay! I don't want to know the ending!" I said to the angel. "OWH MY GOD!!! It was only going to take me another word before I finished the awesome story!! HOW DARE YOU!!!" the angel shouted at me angrily. "Well, the problem is that the story is not original... Most of them can be related to Alice In Wonderland..." I replied. The angel remained silent and then asked "....Seriously?"... "Yeah... Seriously..." I then replied... Both of us stayed in silence for a minute or so... Then the angel suddenly released me from the entanglement and said "Owh well, I'll make another story next time and tell the story to you. You better be ready you foooool~!" the angel said to me as her magic was slowly fading away. "OWH MY GOD! I thought this is the one and only time!! Please don't do this!!" I begged the angel. The angel only ignored me as she flew away towards the heavens while laughing "hihohihohiho~!"... The End.

ParasIteIsAnExIstence

Formspring Thingy

2010-04-16T01:20:00.000-07:00

I noticed some people including Amir made an account for this thing previously, so I made my account as well 6 weeks ago but then left it to rot. But again I noticed this formspring thingy, so I decided to give it a try since I have ample time to waste since I can't play games no more~! Firstly I forgot my user name, but after a few tries voila~! So I personalized it a bit here and there, nothing much really.. So I went to see some people who actually have an account for this stuff... One of the person I noticed was very surprising for me to actually see her formspring thingy.. Anonymous people are actually calling her a whore and such and such and she actually replied to so called "questions" in the same manner... Woooahhhh :O!!! But I assume this is one of those normal situation where you see girls fighting with each other because they have new friends or because of guys... Which is actually lame from my personal point of view... Anyways, siddiq as usual asked me stupid questions... Some of them are not even questions... So I shall simply ignore the fool.. Okay, actually I don't even want to post about this stuff, but it just so happens to be that I wanted to do something before I go off to sleep... Now I'm off to sleep...

http://www.formspring.me/ammarhaidhar

ParastesAnExstence

Extremism Red Ring Of Death!!!

2010-04-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

Extremism, from the word itself we can easily analyze its root word which is extreme! In my context of discussion, I am not referring to the word extremism only in terms of politics and religion, but other things as well. Extreme in terms of what? Well, almost anything actually.. Your ideas, actions, behavior and many more can lead to extremism (In my context of meaning of course). For the fun of it, lets just further see into this "extremism" that I am pretty sure everyone already knows about. How do people perceive extremist? Positively? Negatively? For example from your point of view how do you describe those bodybuilders who extremely workout like crazy to an extent that they intentionally use many bad methods of increasing their muscles such as excessive use of steroids and avoid drinking water so that the muscles can be easily seen? Even the professionals in bodybuilding agree that it is not healthy for the heart and the body. But why do they do so? They call it "passion"... How do you argue with people like that I wonder? There are many others who extremely participate and overdo the stuff that they are doing and I think I should list some of them and see how you guys perceive these extremist in your very point of views.

Okay, I'm not going to list much but lets start off by mentioning the most sensitive issue which is religion (so that I can get over with this as soon as I can, but still I want to mention it). Many of us know about this extremism which is clearly happening in Islam itself in this contemporary world we are living in. For example, we can call those who suicide-bomb themselves to kill enemies of their country and religion as an act of extremism in jihad. I wonder why they actually need to sacrifice their own lives to kill their enemies? Is it not possible to simply throw the bombs at the enemies instead of bombing yourself? That way I think you could actually kill more, but who am I to judge? I'm not living in their harsh condition, but I just wanted to share the thought.

Also, there are many Ula ma' I see nowadays successfully preach and teach the religion of Islam to many others... But some of them do these to an extent that they abandon their families... Why is it that some of them do all these preaching but not properly guiding their own families? It is fairly common to know about those Ula ma' who do all these, but their children do many things that God forbids. Is it not the father's responsibility to guide his own family? Is this kind of person actually qualified enough to preach to others without firstly fulfilling his own responsibility as a father? What makes thing worse is that he himself knows the bad condition his family is in but does not do anything about it. Isn't it a basic knowledge for a Muslim to know that one should not abandon their family but instead guide them to the way of truth? I call this an act of extremism because they are too focused doing other things to an extent of abandoning their MAIN responsibility as a Muslim, a Man, and a Father. But who am I to judge, I just want to share my opinion.

Of course, there is also another interesting fact to be shared with you all. Have you ever heard about those people who dedicated their life only to pray and such to an extent that they totally ignore about the worldly matters. Living only in the Surau and Masjid and such. Because they say that all these things on earth is simply "duniawi", in other words is just a physical world with materials that is not of importance to Muslims. Firstly I would like to ask, is it not known that Islam is a well-balanced religion which is not extreme? In the Qur'an itself states that a Muslim should balance their deeds in both their responsibilities in spiritual matters and the physical world itself. Islam is not an extreme religion whereby people should simply ignore their life on earth and only devote themselves to religious deeds while abandoning their responsibility as a Muslim on earth as well. This is the type of extremist which I know not what to say. Owh and yeah, do you know that people actually complain that these type of people actually smells bad? I heard this from many UIA students. Some of them who are like this, I believe that their ways are totally wrong... Because obviously Islam is a religion which focus on cleanliness as a priority... Can you imagine a person who actually plans to meet God (through prayers) in an unclean and dirty manner? That's just wrong. From my point of view of course, just sharing opinion, not judging.

Yay! Enough with religious matter, lets move on to other extremist that exist on the face of this earth! Nowadays I see many youngsters who have visions and dream that is very high and ambitious... Which is childish... To be more specific, allow me to give an example... There are people that I know who have high ambition to change the political system and respect politics almost over everything! In other words, Political-addict... Yes, they say that politics are not dirty, it is very important due to the fact that it affects our life in almost every way, in Islam itself also it states the importance of politic, to defy that is to defy Islam itself... Wow... Firstly I would like to ask them, why is it that they are suddenly inserting religious facts in order to protect politics from being referred to as "DIRTY" and "CORRUPTED"? Since when does Malaysia practices "Islamic Political System"? (which is the only political system that I respect). Since Malaysia does not practice the political system that Islam has provided to us, it is simply irrelevant to actually use religious facts to be applied to MAN-MADE political system which is clearly DIRTY and CORRUPTED. If they say politics are dirty only because we perceive it that way then I say they are blind. Clearly the politics in Malaysia are corrupted... I mean like, duh~! OBVIOUSLY speaking... Those who remain in power is corrupted, those who are nice have no powers at all, that is what happen when you follow the man-made political system, it is full of flaws and weaknesses. Okay, push that all aside... These dudes actually think they can make a change to the current political system and change it to the religious political system. I mean, I know it is what everyone should do, but... Seriously, Malaysia? I don't believe most of the Muslims are actually dedicated to Islam enough to actually accept the change due to the fact that they fear the severe punishment in terms of Islamic law... Even IF they are ALL dedicated enough, what about other major races such as Chinese and Indian? Do you really think they will accept that change? I BELIEVE this will only result to more dangerous CONFLICTS.. The government can only do so much in this kind of county, for others to only DREAM to make a change without seeing the actual reality of its impossibility and consequences of change are...... childish.

Lets move on to the Extremism which is clearly happening in the world of parkour and freerunning... Okay... David Belle say that flips are not parkour... But yet he still does them... This clearly means that parkour is parkour, but doing flips are permissible... Who says if we tag the video as parkour, we cannot insert flips in them? What the hell? Even the founder himself David Belle insert flips in his videos and nobody says a thing about it... He is just a dude, I believe his philosophy has its own weaknesses, why must everyone devote themselves to his philosophy as if its a religion? Its just a philosophy made by a dude who so happens to be the first guy to have found Parkour... For God's sake many people are actually quarelling and arguing with each other about it! Since when parkour has became politics? Okay, it is clear! Parkour is parkour, flips are not but yet it is permissible... Why the hell must other "extremist" in parkour actually mock other people's video when they do flips? That's just stupid! He is simply following David Belle's method, thats all... These people who do flips do not even actually say flips are parkour, but yet people are mocking them just because they insert flips in them... Now, parkour is parkour.... Pakour with flips is Freerunning... This stupid argument actually goes on to an extent that they have to generate a new term just to allow flips... Just because a dude who so happens to still live with his mommy says so... And he himself does not despise flips.. Ain't that bull?

Yay!! Now I shall end the discussion for this post by ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT THE TITLE OF THIS POST WHICH IS (Extremism *Red Ring Of Death*!!!).... All the things I mentioned above I write because I suddenly want to mention about Extremism in detail... What I actually meant in the title of this post is, I played my XBOX360 too extremely to an extent that my console actually overheated itself and become broken for all eternity... This type of error is called THE 3 RED RING OF DEATH!!!! Yup~! It basically refers to the red light which glows from the xbox360 instead of the usual green... And this happened because I played too much game, which is EXTREME! Which obviously explains the title of this post. Wow, this post actually became off-topic, I like~! Do remember that all the previous things I said are simply my point of views, so do not become all extremist on me and become "haters", okay? Okay~! (damn, blogspot is doing it again, I can't properly make a space between each and every paragraph. I hate it when this happens).

ParasIteIsAnExIstence

Being Social With Others

2010-03-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I encountered and read a post regarding the discussion about social behavior in life which was written by a classmate of mine in Arabic class back in Nilai (I only played psp or fell asleep or played around with my imagination in that specific class :D!!). Due to the friendly nature this particular classmate of mine have, this classmate of mine find it very irritating for people to only communicate with each other via the method of using the internet and such, but when it comes to the world of reality, they pretend as if they don't see each other. In other words they ignored each other. Awkwardness isn't it? Hahahaha XD!!

The situation is somewhat like this... Everyday you hang out in the cafe, you see a number of people you know from the internet whom you usually have conversations with but each time you look at them, they pretend as if they didn't see you but obviously they did. This also occur as you usually go for a walk, lets say to the law department area just to maybe look at the person you like or interested with, of course this is just an example, but you get the point, heheh XD. So, being as friendly as my classmate is, it was basically something that proves to be very irritating and unacceptable for something like that to occur over and over again. Being irritated by such behavior, my classmate finally took a stand and went to say hi to them instead. The intention might appear as if my classmate was being friendly, but who knows maybe the real intention was due to curiosity to basically see how they would react to such awkwardness in surprise. Who knows :O... SO!!! The end result is usually the same, they explained that the reason they did not approached my classmate is because that they are shy~! The end~!

It surprises me how this kind of situation can irritate some individuals to such an extent, :D!! Because of this topic, I came to realize how my social life with most people in UIA is somewhat like that now due to several reasons that I usually do not notice almost all of the time. When I say "somewhat like that now" means that I myself usually ignore when I see people that I know both intentionally and unintentionally. Where to start.... Hmm... Well, lets explain the part where I ignore people that I see "intentionally".

To further understand this, I will basically need to go back to my first semester back in Nilai. Just for the fun of it, let me prolong the story by telling them in detail but yet not in full detail. This reminds me about the first time I entered UIA Nilai, hahaha... Okay, so it was basically like this. I was a guy who had no plan about the future nor was I interested with it. Meaning that I do not have an ambition and I do not care which institution I will join in the future. I couldn't care less about which University I will join to an extent that I let my mom handle all the stuff related to it for me. In the end my mom's first choice for me was accepted which was the choice to enter UIA as a HS student. At first I was like, "UIA? That sounds familiar... Is it a good institution? Hmm.... I wonder how its like?". It was later that I learned UIA is basically an Islamic-based institution and I was like woooooooooot!? I barely passed the Pendidikan Islam back in school and now I have to enter an Islamic-based Institution!? (Yes, I was pretty much weak in term of religious knowledge before I entered UIA). As I was in shock and was lying down on the floor due to several heart attacks, a whisper came to my ear which surprised me even more to an extent that it made me enter the state of a coma. The whisper was "You also have to take Arabic language as well, mueheheheh!".

Okay! But I was pretty much okay with it because two of my loser friends from school which later on became cool was going to join me as well. I still remembered the time when one of the two loser friends of mine from school became all emo and said "after this... we will all part our ways... we will all have different life to lead... and a different future to go through... too busy to hang out together... too busy to come across each other...". I was like, really? Is it going to be like that? So I tried to comfort him and said "No lah, of course la we will still keep in contact! Don't worry lah!". Another loser friend was also approached in the same way so basically it turned out that both of us was trying to comfort this guy. In then end, all of us accidentally entered the same institution which was UIA, hahaha. Okay, that was off-topic...

Hmm... Let's see, the first time I went to Nilai for registration day, I was wearing a long sleeved white shirt with black pants and black shoes you wear to go to work. My parents and my eldest brother came along to accompany me during the registration day. There was a number of chairs that was prepared for those who was waiting for their turns to register. As I was sitting there, I looked at my right and I saw a dude with a very Islamic appearance, he was wearing this songkok and all and I was like "oooowh, so this is how a UIA dude looks like...". I then looked towards my left and saw a girl with her tudung that was big enough to cover her elbow was basically reciting the Qur'an as we were waiting for our turn and I was like "Owh my GOD! Where am I!? Why am I in this place!?". Yeah, I was quite panicked back then, don't blame me because I was not much exposed to such environment back then. Amir was like, wearing a sleeveless black shirt with jeans who was holding a camera with his spiky hair which I find to be very "suitable" in that place. I also did a backflip and the picture was taken and used as my default picture in facebook even until now.

I don't know why, but somehow for the 1st batch, only two dudes including myself was able to take the course subject for the 1st semester because most of the other guys most probably was not taking the EPT seriously and had to take only languages for the first semester. So, this other guy's name is Sufi, which so happens to be my current roomate and classmate in Gombak. Having to survive without many contacts back then, I tried to increase my contacts with the girls as well just in case Sufi does not have the information I seek regarding academic matter. But being as cool as I was, I don't want to have many of the girls' contact number because it is not necessary. So I decided to only choose one of the girls, the one who look the most intelligent in the class... So in the end, I chose a girl named Fara who so happens to be frequently answering all the questions in class. I forgot how I started to sms with her, but later on I found out that she was telling others that I was flirting with her and frequently SMS her. I was like, wooot? Why in the world would I like to flirt with her? She is almost as tall as me! It might be a misunderstanding but for her to confidently tell others as if it was true, I find that to be lame. So I stopped from SMS'ing with her. How did I know about that? It so happens that one of my dormmate was a gay, and he frequently hangs out with the girls. So he basically told me about the gossips which basically let me know that this girl thinks I was flirting with her. So I stopped.

Then, after losing a contact that I can use to ask questions about academic matters (now that I think of it, it took her 30 minutes to reply my sms, so slow), I then tried to find another contact. So I tried to find another girl who is smart and I found a suitable person for the job. In the end I found out that she was also saying that I was frequently sms'ing with her as if I was interested with her. I was like "whaaaaaaat theeeeeee heeeeeeelllll...."... At first I thought maybe other people misunderstood what she was trying to say, but then as other people also told me the same thing so I stopped from sms'ing with her.

There was also a time when I was helping a classmate of mine due to several incidents. But I guessed my effort to help her was mistaken as something else which gave her a false hope, which did not turn out to be best for both sides..

So, from what I have encountered with mostly girls in UIA... Usually turns into something bad against me... Maybe its because I am not the social type of person, so each time I spent time talking with a girl, everyone will think that I like her. In the end, I find it better for me to basically not get involve with girls in UIA and it is probably best for me just to ignore them. This is basically the reason why I "intentionally" ignore people in UIA.

The unintentional reason I ignore people in UIA is because that I have a very short-sighted vision!! Hahaha. I cannot identify a person's face from a far, I have to basically stand 5 feet away from a person in other to identify them. There was a number of time people complain to me that I ignored them but truth be told, eventhough I was looking directly towards them, I swear I do not know that was them in the first place. Forgive my short-sightedness :(. So I just usually walk while ignoring people around me because of both this "intentional" and "unintentional" reasons of mine. I find myself to be comfortable in this situation. Feel free to prove me wrong though. :D

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Adventure Of Sufi - Chapter 3

2010-03-09T17:25:00.002-08:00

(My version)

Chapter 3 : Words of A Fool

A small house made of timber that has aged for years remained unknown located somewhere in a country called Malaysia specifically in a region named Kuantan. Standing in front of it was a man with unanswered question with a will to find the answer. The man was none other than our well-known character Sufi himself. He stood there while analyzing the current situation of the house. It appeared old and abandoned. But abandoned it was not due to the fact that it was a house where his uncle was currently staying. His uncle was a man whose words frequently talk about mystical existence and magical entity. His uncle was always an odd person with perspectives that no one could comprehend. People have always referred to him as a fool whose words should not be taken seriously. But deep inside Sufi's heart, he knew that his words are true. Standing there gazing towards the house, Sufi noticed the exterior which appearance to be in a wreck. He remembered a time long ago when his father usually visits the house during his young age. During that time, his uncle was pretty much considered as a bright and cheerful person whom character was awed and respected by others including himself. But that all changed when the day Sufi’s father passed away.

He died due to a sickness that doctors could not cure nor understand. It was said to be that his physical shows neither disease nor injury after examined by even the professional doctors. It was exactly at that time his uncle was starting to act and think in an abnormal way as he states that Sufi’s father was cursed by a powerful evil spell which is slowly killing his soul. Everyone started to hate and even went to an extent of isolating him due to such statement he gave. However, Sufi did not hold any grudge towards such illogical statement he gave regarding the poor situation his father was in because he somehow felt the truth in it after seeing how his father only silently acknowledged his uncle without saying anything to others. It was as if his father had a secret with his uncle which had remained untold to others regarding the explanation towards the situation he was currently in. When the day Sufi’s father passed away, his uncle seldom went out of his own house and preferred to stay away from others. During the burial of his father, many came to gather and grief for him. Even the weather was raining as if nature itself shares the sorrow. Sufi could have sworn he heard the sound of tears surrounding the burial ground but from where and whom it came from was undetectable by him. It was as if the earth itself was crying, but only he alone could hear it. Time passes by and he decided only to put such memory behind him. It was there that his uncle pat Sufi’s shoulder and said “How I wish it would not turn out to be this way... If only I was stronger... If only I had that power... That magic... I’m sorry... I truly am”. Because of such event, Sufi believed if there is such an explanation regarding the event he encountered yesterday could be earned, it would certainly be his uncle he should be searching for.

Sufi slowly knocked on the door as he was personally thinking to himself how to put his question into a sentence that would make sense. The door was opened and standing inside the house was his uncle looking at him. Before Sufi could even say a word, his uncle suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house. His uncle was weirdly looking at him excitedly with a grin on his face. "Follow me" his uncle said to him. Although he told Sufi to follow him, he however did not give him much choice due to the fact that he was practically grabbing him and led him into the house. As he was walking inside the house, he noticed many mysterious writings all over the wall and ceiling which however makes no sense to him at all. The house was in a total mess, the furniture was all over the place and even some of the mirrors were broken but yet still hanging on the wall. Sufi followed him into the master bedroom and it was only there that the furniture was organized in a well manner. There were surprisingly many flowers located around the room which basically emit the sense of tranquillity which make him feel at ease. His uncle then sat on a bed that was located in the room. The bed was large and beautifully crafted as well. His uncle took a long deep breath and then gave out a small laughter. He looked towards Sufi and said “Who would have thought that this day would finally come”.

He told Sufi that he was going to show him something as he looked at Sufi in the eye and made him promise not to say a word about what he was about to reveal to him to others. Sufi becoming more confused than he already was only nodded in silence. His uncle grinned to him as he slowly reached his hands under his bed. He then said "What I am about to reveal to you... Is something that should remain a secret to everyone... What I am about to reveal to you... Is something that could pretty much give you a glimpse of explanation regarding the situation you have encountered... What I am about to reveal to you... Is not a solid material nor a liquid that you have ever encountered before in this physical world... What I am about to reveal to you... Is magical...”

Adventure Of Sufi - Chapter 2

2010-03-09T17:25:00.001-08:00

(My roomate's version)

Chapter 2 : The Journey

Sitting at the place where he usually sit, he looks at the screen. His eyes were focusing on the screen while the slide changed one by one but his mind was focusing on his memory as he tried to recall the event one at a time. Sheeps casting spell. Sheeps moving as fast as light. Sheeps that are not exactly sheeps. Then what are they? Superheroes with sheep-like costumes? That explains the speed of light that most superheroes posses but what about the magic? Heroes don’t use magic. Then what ARE they? That single question played in his mind like a music being played over and over again when it is put on repeat mode. Even after he was being scolded by the lecturer, he did not wonder why he was scolded. He was not even curious of what the question was. All he wanted to know was what ARE they? Are they human? Are they animals? Are they robots? He tried to use his logic but it was like writing with an empty pen. It was useless. This is beyond the realm of logic. He knows that if we wanted an answer, he must think outside the box. Not only that, he needs to go beyond the area outside the box. He needs to go to a place where he can gather information not only about reality but also about fantasy. A place where knowledge is not only about science but also about magic. A place where he know well of. With dedication and enthusiasm in his eye, he push his body up and quickly went out of the class leaving all his classmates and his political science lecturer in a state of confusion.

Adventure Of Sufi - Chapter 1

2010-03-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

(My lame-ass chapter 1 of the story)

Chapter 1 : The Mysterious Sheeps

Fear, restless, and nervous was the feeling Sufi ultimately encountered when he first laid his eyes on a creature which mystified him due to the broad figure of an inhuman creature standing in front of him. This creature had a shape of a giant sized human merged with the characteristics of one in which we can find in a creature we call a wolf. This creature was breathing heavily as he stared straight towards Sufi with an intention which stayed as a mystery to him. The creature displayed its overwhelming claws to Sufi as it prepared to take the life of Sufi away from him with methods that can only be imaginable by the sickest existence on earth itself. But, right before the beast managed to lay its claws towards Sufi, a group of mysterious sheeps suddenly approached the situation from out of nowhere. One of the sheep was casting a magical spell as the other sheeps were charging towards the wolf-like creature with the speed incomparable even to the speed of light itself while attacking the wolf-like creature mercilessly where it stands. Just before the wolf-like creature managed to defend itself, it was already a moment too late because the mysterious sheep already finished casting its spell bringing down upon a curse which doomed the wolf-like creature as it tore apart its physical body and soul. Sufi covered his eyes as the wolf-like creature's existence was erased from the face of the earth as its body emit a red light and disappears into nothing. After Sufi managed to get an understanding of the situation, the mysterious sheeps were already gone... They were nowhere located around him... Sufi was then thinking to himself of what actually happened and tried to understand the situation through logical thinking in which he had learned from worldly knowledge in the field of Psychology. But this is one of the situations that he himself knows that such knowledge could not explain. This was the first step he had unintentionally taken into a journey that has yet to be discovered by him.

Adventure Of Sufi - Introduction

2010-03-09T17:15:00.000-08:00

(My lame-ass start of the story version)

Sufi - Life of a college student

Introduction

A day like many others arrived, welcoming the arrival of the sun and the presence of its heat. Along with it signals the coming of a new day as it brings the unknown of what the future have in stored for all. In a room situated in a place called Mahallah Bilal somewhere within a location known as International Islamic University Malaysia there lies a boy lying down relaxingly on his bed while recalling the memories he had regarding the experience he encountered during his glorious moments of life about his encounter with the sheeps whom existence remains an untold mystery to others except him. He was comfortably relaxing before the ray of light managed to make its way through the window of his room and landed on his eyelids. He slowly opened his eyes and due to such action he recalled the moment when he met the sheeps for the very first time of his life without knowing the fact that he was about to embark on a journey that will significantly affect his life as a human being as the world's future was resting on his future decision along in his journey with the sheeps....

Adventure Of Sufi

2010-03-09T16:49:00.000-08:00

Lately, my roomates and I do not sleep at night because of doing assignments or presentation or playing games or simply talking about nothing. So, two days ago I decided to write a lame short story each night in order to do something rather than simply wasting my time by only doing the meaningless time-wasting activities I usually do. What happened was I wrote down an introduction of a very stupid story and then came out with the idea of exchanging the turn to actually write about the story each chapter with a roomate of mine. What do I mean? I mean, I write the story for the first chapter, then my roomate write the story for the second chapter, and then I continue and so on. This way we do not know how the story will end up to be. Basically I want to do a complicated ending for each of my chapter so that it will be hard for my roomate to write about his chapter. We do not discuss about the storyline, we just write whatever we want but at the same time try to keep the quality of it being as a so called "serious" novel, I think.

In this post I will simply paste the introduction for the story, why? Because I don't pretty much have any interesting story to tell which explains why my blog has been abandoned all this while. Rather than leaving it empty, I rather post this stupid story of mine instead. The idea of doing the introduction of this story came out when I was talking with my roomate, I was talking about the lame technique of trying to get yourself to sleep by counting sheeps jumping over the fence. I said that it won't work for creative people. Because normal people would simply count the sheeps, but what I do is when the first sheep jumped over the fence, I will most probably focus and imagine ONLY about that first sheep alone. What will the sheep do now that it is over the fence? It will live its own life in a distant place bla bla bla... Which is why I believe such technique won't work at all. Then the conversation I had with my roomate goes on until I made fun of it to an extent of writing it down for fun. The introduction and the first chapter was actually writing without thinking which basically explains why the story and the grammar is quite childish. So here is how the lame story goes. XD

On second thought, I will post the story in a different post instead.

OMG, blogger is having an error I think. I can't make a gap between my paragraphs and even my initials can't be done properly. Owh well, I will just repair it next time when its fully functional properly again.

Owh, and yeah, the name of the main character is named after my other roomate.

ParasiteisAnExistence

AKUJI (Very Long Post)

2010-02-15T21:58:00.000-08:00

After reading the arguments he had regarding the topic about "tattoos with Allah's name" and etc... I find it very irritating to be unable to join in the argument as well! Approve my friend request already fool!! Hahaha~!

Well, anyways~! The topic is already too far off astray from the main topic itself to begin with. Too many meaningless arguments, too many arguments without supporting facts, too many arguments only using theory and logical thinking... These kind of arguments will only prolong the argument due to the fact none of the both side have anything to say that can completely render any of the side into silence. At this rate, even if a person suddenly gave a perfect argument in which this Akuji himself CANNOT argue back due to its complete truthfulness, this Akuji will certainly change the topic by only replying to the previous comments to make himself sound smart. Then he will most probably say, "Aku boleh je menang korang sume, tp malas nk layan si bodoh, korang layan la same sendiri, chow lu". This way, he can save his own ass from being completely flamed by others. It is only natural for a person as such as him to do. Plus, this can be easier for him because I am pretty sure others will continue to give meaningless arguments in which this Akuji can counter back.

That is why I hate seeing others who only show the spirit of a Muslim but does not have the necessary knowledge to protect it. For example "Akuji, dah kita nie Muslim. Xkan la kita nk buat bodo je.." or "Dah dia terang2 kutuk agama kita, xkanla kita x nk marah?"... Well people, for a person as such as Akuji, what do u think he will reply to this comment? Of course he will say that we are being ignorant and stuff. These kind of comments will only prolong the argument. I want the kind of argument that can TOTALLY SHUT HIS MOUTH by posting ONLY a SINGLE LONG POST. I noticed that there are many people who hate reading my long post, but that is only to completely support my argument and to prevent unnecessary prolonged argument just like this one these people are having here, a perfect example if I might add.

There is another similar argument like this in UIA as well. It is about a student from another university saying bad things about UIA by saying stuff such as "UIA untuk budak2 Melayu yg bodoh je, Melayu low class, bla bla bla..". This topic was posted by a UIA student in Facebook asking for other UIA students' opinion, so then all these other UIA students started to join in and give their suggestion about the topic. And their comments really pissed me off a bit. Because ALL of them are acting like idiots and started saying harsh words about that guy and also asking all the UIA students to UNITE to protect the name of UIA and stuff.

Well, at first I am actually against those who try to protect Islam using harsh and negative words towards others. For example "Sape budak gemuk nie? Budak Melayu ke? Name je Melayu, tp kafir laknat. Nie budak KL ke? Nie mesti x puas hati sbb x dpt masuk UIA. Bodoh, dah name UIA tu International la bodoh, sah2 la untuk sume n bukan Melayu je. Brg sesiape yg melawan Allah, mereka akan diletakkan di dalam api neraka! X puas hati ngn komen aku? Nie komen dari budak Islamic Revealed Knowledge!"..... This is like the combination of all the arguments into one.

So, what I did was I argued as well :D! There is no need to argue much because the one who said UIA is stupid and stuff does not even know the existence of such post in the first place. What I did was, I lectured these so called UIA students instead. I said that as a Muslim, we should only argue using an Islamic way. It pisses me off to see these people kept calling themselves Muslim and kept saying that Allah is on their side and stuff... Why are they acting like the Institution itself is a Religion? It is handled by people, although it is constructed to teach the foundation of Islam, it does not necessarily be protected by Allah Himself! Even hadith itself is not completely protected by Allah, what makes them think that this institution is so sacred and divine to an extent that they kept saying those who oppose UIA will go into the pits of hell? This is bull.

The other thing that I hate is that they kept saying this guy is a KAFIR LAKNAT! OMG!!!! Who in the hell are they to say such a thing!? If these so called MUSLIMS who are learning in UIA ACTUALLY learn about their religion in the first place, they will NOT SAY such a thing... As a Muslim, we are unable to tell whether a guy is a Kafir or a Muslim, such knowledge only belongs to ALLAH alone. Of course this applies to those who call themselves a Muslim but their action portrays otherwise, we CANNOT call him a "Kafir". We as a human, we do not have the ability to completely judge a person's faith. OKAY! These UIA students do not only call this guy a KAFIR, they call him a KAFIR LAKNAT! Omg! The guy only mock UIA, he did not even say anything bad about ISLAM! From where do these fools acquire the authority to declare that this dude is a KAFIR LAKNAT? This is what I call, stupidity.

Owh and yes, I also hate the fact that these people argue by mocking other's background.. For example, they kept saying "sape budak gemuk nie?" and "Nie bdk KL ke?"... Wow! What if a person who happens to be fat and came from KL were to read this comment? He will surely hate UIA because of these fools comments! These fools kept saying bullshits to an extent that they are very confident they represent UIA and the religion ISLAM as well. I am a Muslim and I am from UIA, and I AM VERY ASHAMED OF THESE IDIOTS. If you want to argue, only argue about his statement. Do not argue by mocking his race, background, institution, country, etc... He does not represent them! Are u too blind to see that? This is not Islamic at all! You kept saying that you are protecting UIA and Islam and you are representing them, well, here is what I have to say... The characteristic that you show is bias, fallacy, ignorant, barbaric, idiotic and childish.

Ok! Enough about this, lets go back to AKUJI!!!! Sorry for the long explanation above which shows no relevance to the main topic. Well, actually it is relevant. Because, I wanted to say that we should not mock this guy's background and only mock his statement... BUT!! This guy is calling us stupid and ignorant and kept spreading these deviant belief and false interpretation of Islam. So fuck him, it is only mutual for us to say bad things to him as well.

Okay. These guy kept saying that he is on the correct path of Islam... He kept saying that it is correct and then started to support his statement by explaining something about Islam that shows no relevance to support his statement. For example, he kept saying that the tattoo is not wrong and then suddenly started to explain about Iman... Wtf? He is so proud of it, but it shows no relevance whatsoever... But the thing is, Iman can be seperated into 3, which is rukun Iman, Tawheed and Ikhsan. This has no relevance whatsoever...

The topic has always been about the picture of tattoo thingy... It is obviously wrong... People should just provide FACTS that this Akuji guy cannot deny and argue... BUT!!! These people kept arguing by questioning his statements and providing their statement as a product of their logical thinking. Theory and logical thinking without facts... No wonder this Akuji dude kept on arguing more and more.

1. Tattoo is wrong, no matter how good the intentions are, END.
-The Akuji dude, using his own logical thinking, says that is right... Fuck, who the hell is he to say that? If Allah himself says that it is wrong. who in the world does this guy think that he can change that? What Allah say is absolute, whichever and however you try to change that is futile. End of argument.

2. This Akuji reject other's statement because of their background...
-I believe that every Muslims should know, no matter how bad the background of a person is, another Muslim should accept his statement/advice as long as it is true. For example, a drunk suddenly told u not to drink because Islam forbids it, we should follow that because its true no matter how it contradicts him.

3. Nihilism...
-This dude practices sufism, anrchism, nihilism... Sufism is basically the good people, yes... But nihilism!? The belief that life has no moral values and moral purposes?? How can u belief this if you are a MUSLIM?? With this alone we can conclude why he is so stupid. Believing in 2 different things that contradicts one another.

4. Quranic verses and Islamic belief
- I hate the way that he kept saying irrelevant stuff by quoting quranic verses or suddenly talking about Islamic principles that shows no relevance to his statement. Then other idiots suddenly follow his path of argument as well... This is stupid...

Okay... To end this, I would like to say... To those who want to protect Islam but does not know what words to use and what facts to use to protect it, then please just let others do so for you, you are only making the situation worse.... No matter how good ur intentions are, if your approach is wrong, it is and will always be WRONG... For example, people burning churches, terrorism... Their intentions might be good, but their approach is stupid... Catch my drift? Just leave it to others who are capable of arguing...

Argue smartly, argue correctly, argue in an Islamic manner, argue COMPLETELY (to an extent that they can't argue anymore in any single way because u already argue about it even before he want to argue about it). Long meaningful post is always better than short meaningless post due to the fact that it prolongs the unnecessary argument.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Mass Effect 2 Super cool!

2010-02-07T11:36:00.000-08:00

I will do my complete review about this game next week after I win it. For now, here's some of the video in which people are thinking "I am the coolest!" and the reality says "NOT!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-K-9jYzMdY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chg275uZ1WA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KS3qZVFwsE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrdBsVNA-xc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a--3q4fOL5g&feature=related

Irritating Dream

2010-01-30T20:33:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, I decided to lie down and rest my eyes a bit due to the fact that I was tired. As I lied down, I played around with my imagination. Every now and then I open my eyes so that I won't fall asleep cause I still want to stay awake. But then again, I fell asleep anyways. I had a dream, an irritating dream to be exact. Not planning to describe the dream though, cause the dream is crappy. In short, I became so angry in the dream itself. I was supposed to be weak in the dream, the type of dream where u become powerless and weak and have no strength in ur punch or whatsoever. But, I think due to my anger that I had, I became quite strong. There was this guy that I wanted to punch so badly, but the minute when I approached him, I suddenly woke up with my eyes opened widely... IN ANGER!!! Irritating!! GRRRR!!

Jgn Benci Kami, Shuffle Itu Seni!! = "hentak2 lantai... hentak2 lantai dekat sini pulak.. Du du du~"
Selagi Enjin Motor Aku Berjalan, Selagi Itu Aku Tak Akan Mati... = "Motor aku rosak dowh, nk kene hantar repair ar nie, dah la aku pokai skrg...Mati aku.."
Silat Ilmu Pertahanan Diri Yg Handal = "Kalau dia kuat sgt, kau pakai je ilmu kebal, bg padan muke dia"
Abudi = "Shake shake, shake shake shake it!"
Acap = "Bro's code x penting, awek aku plg penting.... I'm as cool as pro.."
Siddiq = "وأنا أهم الرهيبة, وكل من الخاسرين "
Amir = "Xbox360, owned! PSP, owned! Computer, owned! Iphone, owned! Private Gym, hmm.."
Mierol = "Putri, jom gi makan. Cam biase ar, kau blanje aku k?"
Irsyad = "Shit! Aku ade assignment! Dota ar dulu..."
Azam = "Xde plan, youtube jap.. Onepiece jap.. Facebook jap..Blog jap.. Ama, get a life la, ish3.."

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Gays, again!

2010-01-16T00:20:00.001-08:00

Being a gay, is simply a challenge that Allah has gave from above. It is the struggle between you and ur "Nafsu". Will you choose to persevere it in the name of Allah? If you do, the struggle that you have endured will be rewarded with heaven, the greatest gift which is totally worth ur earthly struggle. If u become a gay anyway, then u fail the challenge that Allah has gave.

Same goes to everyone. Many guys are horny, do u see them raping others or even openly flirt with others? No, because nafsu is simply a challenge in which we need to endure as the slave of Allah. So if u become a gay, dun give a stupid lame excuse such as "Its not my choice to be a gay!" or "I'm a human too! This is my freedom!", because truth be told, you are just a slave of Allah and all ur so called "freedom" belongs to Him and Him only and it is simply the fact that u fail the challenge of Allah and has give in entirely to ur "nafsu" which many others have persevered, u become a fag.

As a muslim, we must hate and despise those who do the things that Allah has forbid... So to those who support or even pity these fags, you are one of the people that is ignorant in ur own religion, too caught up in this temporary life we have on earth thinking of earthly matters only while ignoring the hereafter. I just wanted to write this down because lately I see many movies supporting gays and this pisses me off. Laters~

Of course I'm arguing this using the Islamic perspective, those who want to argue using the Western perspective can go and try to pray at the mosque during friday prayers, SEE how much you have strayed from the path of Islam.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Nothing Much

2009-12-20T05:24:00.000-08:00

Nothing much, just wanted to share these two random videos that I watched last night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjXlSs95hWc&feature=rec-LGOUT-real_rn-1r-1-HM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCRev-h8yq0&feature=channel

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Life Is Life =D

2009-12-17T11:22:00.000-08:00

Life is short... That is very contradicting as Life is basically the longest thing we ever have =D! I stole that statement from one of Azam's Yahoo Messenger's default pic. The others would be "Come To The Darkside... We Have Cookies..." and "If Life Gives U Lemon... Then Shut Up And Just Eat Your Damn Lemons!" and another one which is quite similar to the last statement.

It is always very interesting to read someone's blog entry because each of them will always have something to tell and share even though nothing much has occurred in their life worth taking noticed but still they have something to share due to they're on going mental activities of viewing life in their own perspectives in their own very way. Despite the fact that no spectacular events happened, imagination and reasoning and all the thing that we go through in understanding life will always make us feel that we have gained something and that the time wasted was not actually wasted at all. No matter how different people are in terms of lifestyle, language, ethnicity and culture... People will always have something in common that people can share with each other. It is these common characteristic that is able to attract many people's attention to a certain entry as people would love to know how such person reacts to the common event. It is entertaining to read a blog entry that we ourselves can relate to.

Aside from writing about personal events, why do people write about topics in which everyone already knows about? For example this entry I am writing. Why am I explaining about facts that other people already know of? What am I trying to prove? Well, people will always have something to share and people will always have the interest of sharing people's experience and perspectives in life no matter how common that entry might be. Similarity unites people. =D

Sometimes people think they understand life better than others because they spend most of their time thinking about it, but truth be told, everyone does that as well. Analyzing life through observations and reasoning. A method which basically makes one much wiser. However, there are still people who does not spend much of their time reflecting upon their life and how to interpret it correctly. This is how people as such as Emo are born. Let me try to share my point of view towards people as such as this. They spend most of their time thinking about themselves and the life that their going through. Never expecting people to truly understand their life as they find their life difficult and complicated but at the same time hoping that there people are interested enough to pay attention to them and understanding them. Thinking to themselves why people are very hard in understanding their feelings and way of thinking...

But, this is a contradiction to themselves as well... This is because they themselves are unable to comprehend how others think. Too cope up with their own lives that they are unable to simply understand about others. Thinking too much about their personal problems but never actually attend to such problems in a holistic manner. Why do such problems happen in the first place? Why do people react that way? Thinking about these kind of things but never actually come to an answer which is basically needed in order to come up with a solution to solve it. People who actually reflect upon their life properly, they will usually observe others. Through such action, it is then that people will start to realize how others are leading their life and how others are reacting to it. Being able to do such observation, people will start to realize how some others are actually not so smart in facing their own problems. Due to such action, people can see how common problems in life occur and how it basically ends up being worse. People will start to understand how to basically solve the problem. It is only through this action that people will start to understand how life is and what life is all about. It is only through this that people will be able to gain the important ability in which we call "empathy". To truly understand others and how they feel... This is the key of helping us in life as well.

Life is life, it is how it is how we perceived it to be. We say that our life is complicated and we are too busy with our own life only because we choose to feel that way. Where in actual fact we actually wasted much of our free time doing things such as reading manga and watching anime or even sleep. We perceive our life to be full of harsh obstacles only because we choose to believe that is how our life is instead of simply taking it as a common obstacle that other people go through as well.

There are people who loves to judge others and tell others they are wrong and try to point out facts to explain to them the actual picture of the situation. But I believe that it is never easy to do so because the "actual picture" is never only from "one picture". The situation varies according to our perception towards it and each perception will have truth in it. The actual picture, varies from other person to another, but they are rarely wrong I believe. It only depends on who is most capable of influencing others, the best person to do so will be able to say that their point of view is the "actual picture" of the situation. But even their point of view towards such matter can change if another person who is more capable of influencing others came into being, XD.

I can't believe I wasted much of my time writing this post which I believe to be common knowledge that people already know about. But that's how it is, people love to share their point of views about certain matters :P.

I'm happy about certain people that I know of who are currently happy about their life, I'm entertained by people who shares about events in their life, and I am amused by people who share about their perspectives in life... May all these will help us in perceiving life in the most best possible manner to comprehend life in most effective and positive way possible. XD

Perspectives, is something to be taken note of.

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Real Life Scary Story...

2009-11-25T11:36:00.000-08:00

This scary shit is for real...

It happened 30 minutes earlier... When I was in... The TOILET...

I was preparing to take a bath...

I took of my clothes...

I put them aside...

I felt something was... STRANGE..

But I thought it was only a mere imagination of mine..

So I turned on the shower..

It was then..

That I saw...

A black figure...

At the very corner of my EYES...

I LOOKED TOWARD IT'S DIRECTION...

THEN IT WAS THEN THAT I SAW...

IT WAS THEN THAT I REALISED...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My hair is so very long, wow, I could even see it at the very corner of my eyes. I think I should get a hair cut now. :)

Paras|te|sAnEx|stence

Shuffle Is The Coolest!

2009-11-03T20:05:00.001-08:00

Lately in UIA I've learned about stereotyping n bias n etc... Could it be that I am disgusted by shufflers because of these reasons? Could it? As a scientist, there are various research process in which we have to go through to determine the answer to a certain problem.. Which is identifying the problem, form a hypothesis, prepare the research method, perform the research method and collect the data for analysis, make a conclusion... Therefore, I would like to try a little experiment... Which is by trying to write a post about shuffle in a way that I love it...

Analyze The Problem - Shuffle is noobish and it sickens me... But why many shufllers if its true?
Form A Hypothesis -Maybe because I am bias/stereotyping it.
Research Method - Try looking at it in a shuffler's point of view and try to love it as much as possible through promoting it in each and every aspect possible.

Now.. To perform the research method...

Ok!!! Guys guys guys... I know u guys hate shufflers... But this should stop... Shuffle is not that bad, its actually cool! Why? Well, if it isn't then why is it famous and are practiced by many? The essence for shuffle is basically stomping movements along with music.. Can't u guys see? Its fun! At first you guys might find a problem to go along with the music as u guys are having problems to do the steps smoothly, but this comes along easily if u guys were to only practice! During our pk vid in the breakfast tv show x-gen something if Im not mistaken where our show was basically combined with shufflers, there was this one dude saying "Shuffle nie best... Sbb die SNG SGT!! SNG3 SGT!! SUME ORG BOLEH BUAT!". That coming from a fellow shufflers, I believe it is true... Not that it is only fun and easy to make, it is universal as everyone can do em! This can simply create a shufflers' community very easily. This is whats important don't u guys think? UNITY!! People can now all share the same interest and enjoy themselves along with the music.. People will not feel left out... This is... Unity!

Shuffle involves movement, rapid movements in the same position over and over again. Its good due to the fact that it can be done almost anywhere, u name it! Plus, rapid movements will make us produce sweat, which will basically remove excess toxins on our body, which will make us healthy, which is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD... I know u guys think it is unskillful and such.. But hey, shuffle involves stages in which we have to go through and this stages can determine our skill level in this area. There is this stomping side to side... Twist while stomping.. Move hands while doing so (at this stage u will look natural doing so).. twist cap... then there is the shuffling using knee and etc... Not to mention that there are various types of shuffle, the most famous in malaysia is hardstyle thingy, because it is GOOD! U guys can express urself to everyone by doing so, believe me..

Analyzing And Collecting Data.....
Loading....
Making conclusion....
Conclusion Made......
..................................
SHUFFLE SUCKS TO THE ASS!!

Whaaaa!? This is officially true now! I tried being un-bias but even doing so it is impossible to promote shuffle! Yeah, I tried to promote it by saying its good and stuff. GOOD!? WHY!? To express yourselves at the side of the road with loud musics along with ugly outfits which makes u look like trash when ur sweaty? UNITY!? Woot!? Unity in a way that it unites bot male and female together to an extent that they steal away girl's virginity at an early age!? Stomping the ground over and over again to an extent that they feel superior doing so!? WTF! That is effing lame! NOOBS!! Getting into LRT with those outfit of their flirting with stupid ugly chicks that give away their virginity because they are into shuffle as well which basically sickens the eyes of older people in the LRT itself! Not only is it LAME, UGLY, WASTE OF ENERGY because it only produces sweat and does not IMPROVE BODY CAPABILITIES NOR STRENGTH, PROMOTES STUPIDITY AMONG THEMSELVES, and worst of all, KILLING AWAY OUR CULTURE!

There are simply too many negative facts in which Shuffle possess, therefore they all should drink Toxic and shuffle themselves to death.

Conclusion - People practice them because they are lame and idiots.
Conclusion APPROVED.

To Fellow Shufflers - Huh? Woot? Ur not satisfied with my research? I'm a university student from International Islamic University Of Malaysia and it is my subject's specialty to do research. Now take that and stab urselves to death..

Paras|teIsAnEx|stence

Amir Have Gay Fans On Myspace? Me 2!

2009-10-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.myspace.com/418514576

Yeah.. This is the worst one yet.. In case he changed his default picture by the time u guys are looking at this, it is his naked picture lying on the bad displaying all the way from his neck to this legs to display his buttocks.. Named BOTTOM MAN... I bet u guys are imagining what that name means by now..